Blah. I hate being a girl sometimes.
I've been extremely emotional the last couple of days. Yesterday, when me and Tim couldn't agree on what to do for dinner, I seriously just wanted to cry. I was so frustrated and I hate being put on the spot. I know, cry over whether to go out to dinner or have him cook...so stupid. I don't even know why I wanted to cry. He definitely did not like my cranky side. That's for sure.
I'm also very torn about next weekend. He wants to hang out Saturday night but I have family Christmas in Livonia, MI that I *really* want to go to b/c I haven't seen my family hardly at all this year...let alone my uncle who I haven't seen in *2* years...But at the same time, since I only get to see Tim once a week, I want to be home so I can spend time with him. I'm sure I will end up dragging my ass up to MI for a day trip and try and be back early Saturday night but I'm afraid if my sister and Brody don't want to make a day trip, I will either be stranded up there or have to stay here. Dad, I'm sure, will NOT let me drive the car up there if there are 2 other vehicles going. I'm so torn. I don't know what to do :( Hopefully Kristin and Brody will just make a day trip out of it with me...
New Years. I *really, really* want to be will all my close pals for New Years!!! I also *really* want to be with Tim. However, 1. He doesn't know any of my friends and isn't sure he wants to spend a fun Holiday with people he doesn't know 2. He's been looking forward to seeing his own friends for New Years since he hasn't for a couple years now... and 3. He wants to go to a bar. I would *love* to go to a bar with him but being exactly 2 months shy of 21 when New Years hits, I will not enjoy standing in a bar watching him and his buddies get shit faced and I, YET AGAIN, am the DD. (Considering *anywhere* I go lately, *I* am automatic DD b/c no one else, 1. Feels like driving 2. Feels like spending money on gas 3. Wants to stay sober. For being the poor little bum with no money and no job, I sure as hell am not feeling anyone's sympathy when I am dishing out money to be DD every weekend. It's not that I don't want to help my friends out, that's not it at all, you know I would do *anything* for you guys...it's just I really can't afford to be toting everyone around anymore. If I had a job, I wouldn't bitch. But it would be nice if the favor was returned every now and then...)
So back to what I was saying, I was talking to Tim about New Years and yet again, I wanted to cry. I really want to spend New Year's with him. I have *never* in my life, shared *any* holiday with someone I was seeing. EVER. I was looking forward to spending such a fun holiday with someone I immensely enjoy spending time with. He hasn't really said no, but he has made it very clear he would rather be in a bar with all his buddies getting shit faced...I don't really want to hold him back from that.
He wants to see his friends, I want to see mine. Understandable. We aren't bf/gf so I guess I shouldn't be so upset if we aren't together to celebrate the New Year.
I'm not going to make him spend it with me, he can do as he pleases. Even if it's not what I invisioned :( Who am I to tell him where to celebrate and with who? Guess I just wasn't meant to have a boy to enjoy the holidays with...But is it really too much to ask to spend New Years with the one I am sleeping with??? I didn't think so...but maybe I am foolish.
I'm also very torn about next weekend. He wants to hang out Saturday night but I have family Christmas in Livonia, MI that I *really* want to go to b/c I haven't seen my family hardly at all this year...let alone my uncle who I haven't seen in *2* years...But at the same time, since I only get to see Tim once a week, I want to be home so I can spend time with him. I'm sure I will end up dragging my ass up to MI for a day trip and try and be back early Saturday night but I'm afraid if my sister and Brody don't want to make a day trip, I will either be stranded up there or have to stay here. Dad, I'm sure, will NOT let me drive the car up there if there are 2 other vehicles going. I'm so torn. I don't know what to do :( Hopefully Kristin and Brody will just make a day trip out of it with me...
New Years. I *really, really* want to be will all my close pals for New Years!!! I also *really* want to be with Tim. However, 1. He doesn't know any of my friends and isn't sure he wants to spend a fun Holiday with people he doesn't know 2. He's been looking forward to seeing his own friends for New Years since he hasn't for a couple years now... and 3. He wants to go to a bar. I would *love* to go to a bar with him but being exactly 2 months shy of 21 when New Years hits, I will not enjoy standing in a bar watching him and his buddies get shit faced and I, YET AGAIN, am the DD. (Considering *anywhere* I go lately, *I* am automatic DD b/c no one else, 1. Feels like driving 2. Feels like spending money on gas 3. Wants to stay sober. For being the poor little bum with no money and no job, I sure as hell am not feeling anyone's sympathy when I am dishing out money to be DD every weekend. It's not that I don't want to help my friends out, that's not it at all, you know I would do *anything* for you guys...it's just I really can't afford to be toting everyone around anymore. If I had a job, I wouldn't bitch. But it would be nice if the favor was returned every now and then...)
So back to what I was saying, I was talking to Tim about New Years and yet again, I wanted to cry. I really want to spend New Year's with him. I have *never* in my life, shared *any* holiday with someone I was seeing. EVER. I was looking forward to spending such a fun holiday with someone I immensely enjoy spending time with. He hasn't really said no, but he has made it very clear he would rather be in a bar with all his buddies getting shit faced...I don't really want to hold him back from that.
He wants to see his friends, I want to see mine. Understandable. We aren't bf/gf so I guess I shouldn't be so upset if we aren't together to celebrate the New Year.
I'm not going to make him spend it with me, he can do as he pleases. Even if it's not what I invisioned :( Who am I to tell him where to celebrate and with who? Guess I just wasn't meant to have a boy to enjoy the holidays with...But is it really too much to ask to spend New Years with the one I am sleeping with??? I didn't think so...but maybe I am foolish.