May 1998 4/? [hallmark moments with goldy_dollar

Oct 24, 2005 20:05

Title: May 1998 (2/?)
Keywords: Harry, Hermione, H/Hr, post-HBP. Mentions of ebil parings.
Spoilers: Books 1-6.
Rating: Yeah. Right.
Summary: Harry and Hermione write a series of letters to each other. Really. I swear. And it'll get messy because that's what goldy_dollar and I do.
Words: 530
Dedication: There's always hope, T. *grins*



Harry,

My eyes narrow? My nostrils flare? You make me sound like some awful spinster. I don’t know whether or not I should start laughing and continue to be angry with you. Only you seem to be one capable of making me so ungodly frustrated.

It was the strangest thing, the day your letter arrived. I had been fighting with mum because, really, that’s all we seem to be doing these days… but it was there. On the table. Staring at me as if I had managed to step, yet again, into another universe. It’s not that I’ve forgotten you, Harry. That’ll never happen. Sometimes missing you hurts too much that I shut down. I shut down to cope.

You need to stay alive, Harry.

I don’t want to mother you. I need you to stay alive. I can’t explain it. We could go around in endless circles about the ‘ifs’, ‘ands’, or ‘buts’- But don’t think that just because I’m far away and trapped in some godforsaken hell with my parents that I’m safe and you can go on to do your hero duty. Don’t you dare.

Molly Weasley is grieving. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you more than the obvious. She’s grieving and maybe she’ll move past it. Maybe she won’t. There are other people in her life that she needs to pay attention to. I’m sorry if that sounds terribly awful and rude and whatnot, but blaming other people isn’t going to solve anything. She couldn’t even look at me the night I left…

We can’t spent all this time wallowing. It’ll drive us both insane. There are too many empty corners here, Harry. I don’t even recognize my own parents and find myself answering their questions with such a passionate distain. My parents, Harry, I sometimes wonder if it would’ve been best if they had gone away before me. A memory charm, perhaps as well, might have suited the situation better.

Nobody signed up for this, Harry. Nobody is at fault except a man and his immortal obsessions. He not only doomed himself, but the rest of us as well. There can be no good outcome out of this, not matter what is done. Precautions can only do so much.

I’m laughing now because you can only think of Remus as Professor Lupin and I can’t think of him as anything but Remus. It’s strange, my relationship with him. Remus has become- is my definition of family. He has given me too much when he has so little. I often wonder if I really deserve this type of kindness.

It’s all very strange.

I- I don’t know how to talk about Ron anymore. It’s too surreal. Too close. We weren’t close, Harry. Hold no illusions about that. It was always this competition- who could push each other’s button faster and harder. It would’ve unraveled even if… I don’t know how to talk about him properly. I wish I could.

I am with you, as horribly clichéd as this sounds. Don’t ever think anything else. You are what matters for me, above all else. You need to stay alive, Harry.

I need you to stay alive.

lj friend: f, character: hermione granger, rl: birthday

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