Man's Futile Attempt to Recover What's Lost
Is there a level of stress that everyone succumbs to? How important in life is it to not necessarily be strong, but to feel strong? How come the ones you need the most are there when you haven't fully realized the gravity of their presence in your life, yet as time spans ever onward, they fade or disappear without you ever being able to divulge just how much they are an integral part to your very existence? Why can't time spent help you understand the necessity for someone rather than time spent away?
In this new coming of age for myself, several years have passed since the greatest heartbreak I've ever known. Its a cold, drafty feeling that I've yet to find a warmth or a cure for. Amongst all these questions, the darkest and coldest that looms over my heart and brain alike, is the longing for my day's end so I can be relieved of my post here on this finite world and rejoin happiness that is the sole profit of my love's investing. Is it arrogantly and immaturely wrong for me to wish my demise, if just to be reunited once again? And where is the ethereal in my life? Why no visit yet? No voice. No touch. No whisper on the wind that only I would've caught.
No sign.
Why no sign? I know there must be a reason, for left in their control, they wouldn't leave me misguided if it weren't for a higher purpose. Is this a cruel taunting? I think not, for they were never like that, but what is a adolescent boy to think after so long and no sign? Surely I can't be the only one who knows my anguish, yet I feel isolated and alone when confronted with imagery and thoughts that steer my traffic jam of thoughts back to unpleasant memories and remembrances. My heart leaks like a colander as if its riddled with the bullets of agony. Where in life is there something that can mend this suture? Where is a drug to blur the agonizing memories? Where is enough booze to drown my sorrows to a dilapidated memory of him through a hazy incoherent fog? Could it actually be true?
Am I destined to be alone?
How can I ever love undyingly again when everything is a comparison to them? There's a clear impossibility of anyone replacing that feeling or for that matter, helping me cope with that. But that means nothing in the long run, for I would gladly give up anyone new in my life to be with them in their life. To share what they share. To be Reunited. It has been too long since I've heard their voice, and it seems that with the weight of everything else on my shoulders lately, that the brim is overflowing and a great purge of the sorrows must be fulfilled.
I'd do anything to have him back
In this new coming of age for myself, several years have passed since the greatest heartbreak I've ever known. Its a cold, drafty feeling that I've yet to find a warmth or a cure for. Amongst all these questions, the darkest and coldest that looms over my heart and brain alike, is the longing for my day's end so I can be relieved of my post here on this finite world and rejoin happiness that is the sole profit of my love's investing. Is it arrogantly and immaturely wrong for me to wish my demise, if just to be reunited once again? And where is the ethereal in my life? Why no visit yet? No voice. No touch. No whisper on the wind that only I would've caught.
No sign.
Why no sign? I know there must be a reason, for left in their control, they wouldn't leave me misguided if it weren't for a higher purpose. Is this a cruel taunting? I think not, for they were never like that, but what is a adolescent boy to think after so long and no sign? Surely I can't be the only one who knows my anguish, yet I feel isolated and alone when confronted with imagery and thoughts that steer my traffic jam of thoughts back to unpleasant memories and remembrances. My heart leaks like a colander as if its riddled with the bullets of agony. Where in life is there something that can mend this suture? Where is a drug to blur the agonizing memories? Where is enough booze to drown my sorrows to a dilapidated memory of him through a hazy incoherent fog? Could it actually be true?
Am I destined to be alone?
How can I ever love undyingly again when everything is a comparison to them? There's a clear impossibility of anyone replacing that feeling or for that matter, helping me cope with that. But that means nothing in the long run, for I would gladly give up anyone new in my life to be with them in their life. To share what they share. To be Reunited. It has been too long since I've heard their voice, and it seems that with the weight of everything else on my shoulders lately, that the brim is overflowing and a great purge of the sorrows must be fulfilled.
I'd do anything to have him back