Choke.
What I want is to be needed.
What I need is to be indispensable to somebody.
Who I need is somebody that will eat up
all my free time, my ego, my attention.
Somebody addicted to me.
A mutual addiction.
Chuck Palahniuk
I have so many things to do. So much to consider.
I can't taste a damn thing or smell anything, which is surprisingly miserable. I can't tell you how many times I wished to not even like food, well... wish accomplished. I get nothing from eating. I can't tell if I need to take a freaking shower, I do not know if my breath smells. My shit doesn't stink. No senses. I went to the minute clinic at CVS and they don't even know what it is. I just want to feel better. The worst part is I really can't concentrate at all. I can't focus on school work - and it sucks. Like i'm ready to buckle down and do the work, but my head hurts, and I rather be sleeping and the medicine they gave me feels like a freaking horse tranquilizer.
I feel really useless lately.
I suck at both of my jobs - I keep making mistakes and i'm not much of a help to anyone.
The guys that asked me on dates, no real follow up... probably because they know they're going to have to fight each other for me and they value their friendship more than hooking up with some annoying fat girl who can't help but flirt with anything, talks too much and makes really, really stupid jokes.
I keep taking huge deep breaths in, in hopes of smelling something, feeling something... anything. My whole body aches and I just long to feel somewhat normal again. I guess this is what I deserve though, i've been putting my body through the ringer between ridiculously long gym work outs, drinking the nights away, smoking, falling asleep at 4am and waking up at 9am, too much coffee, letting the stress pile up. Soon the semester will be over and i'll have nothing left to worry about besides managing my finances, figuring out some school stuff, working out and having fun. I doubt though when I get my 2.something GPA i'm going to be that much in the mood for fun, but I guess we'll see.
I got a Twitter, it's really stupid. It's just a page with glorified facebook status updates. Whatever.
I have so much work to do, so much studying to do.
I don't know what to do.
I just want to go back to sleep... I can't enjoy anything anymore.
Do you ever feel like you're running really fast just to stay in the same place?
What I need is to be indispensable to somebody.
Who I need is somebody that will eat up
all my free time, my ego, my attention.
Somebody addicted to me.
A mutual addiction.
Chuck Palahniuk
I have so many things to do. So much to consider.
I can't taste a damn thing or smell anything, which is surprisingly miserable. I can't tell you how many times I wished to not even like food, well... wish accomplished. I get nothing from eating. I can't tell if I need to take a freaking shower, I do not know if my breath smells. My shit doesn't stink. No senses. I went to the minute clinic at CVS and they don't even know what it is. I just want to feel better. The worst part is I really can't concentrate at all. I can't focus on school work - and it sucks. Like i'm ready to buckle down and do the work, but my head hurts, and I rather be sleeping and the medicine they gave me feels like a freaking horse tranquilizer.
I feel really useless lately.
I suck at both of my jobs - I keep making mistakes and i'm not much of a help to anyone.
The guys that asked me on dates, no real follow up... probably because they know they're going to have to fight each other for me and they value their friendship more than hooking up with some annoying fat girl who can't help but flirt with anything, talks too much and makes really, really stupid jokes.
I keep taking huge deep breaths in, in hopes of smelling something, feeling something... anything. My whole body aches and I just long to feel somewhat normal again. I guess this is what I deserve though, i've been putting my body through the ringer between ridiculously long gym work outs, drinking the nights away, smoking, falling asleep at 4am and waking up at 9am, too much coffee, letting the stress pile up. Soon the semester will be over and i'll have nothing left to worry about besides managing my finances, figuring out some school stuff, working out and having fun. I doubt though when I get my 2.something GPA i'm going to be that much in the mood for fun, but I guess we'll see.
I got a Twitter, it's really stupid. It's just a page with glorified facebook status updates. Whatever.
I have so much work to do, so much studying to do.
I don't know what to do.
I just want to go back to sleep... I can't enjoy anything anymore.
Do you ever feel like you're running really fast just to stay in the same place?