(no subject)

[fatallyg0rge0us]

i've been trying to sleep for 3 1/2 hours.
it isn't working.

i told myself i was gonna stop taking my meds cause they make me gain weight.
i'm not supposed to skip doses. ever. & especially not discontinue it.
it makes me kinda cranky too. not to mention i was kind of pissed off when i found out what it actually was.
i guess i should just try to deal with it.
i hate not being able to sleep.
i've already had a year and a half of that shit.

i'm not tired. i'm bored & jordan wont wake up.
i just watched edtv.
i was supposed to hang out with ashley today. but i lost my cellphone somewhere in my house.
and i left her a message to call my house phone but i think she didnt get it.
i don't want to go to work tomorrow.
& i really don't want to go back to school.
this year is going to be hell.
maybe worse than last year.
maybe even worse than freshman year (ohgodohgod).
i wish i was out of school. i wish i had a car. i wish i had alot of money.
and that my family wasn't crazy.
and that i saw my friends more often.
i really wish i had more self control. and i didn't hate mirrors.
& that i wasn't so repetive. & negative.
& i need a ciggerate. & to shut up. & sleep. agh.