Dear John (is it a 'Dear Jane' letter in this case?)
Dear Hillary,
I am not any kind of leverage. I am not your counterweight that you can use against those who aren't tolerant of you at this moment or that. Isn't it a bit of a coincidence that the exact reason why you tell me you are such a 'rebel' by talking to me, and breaking all of these 'rules' is because you're going against this same group of individuals? Isn't the timing simply impecable? How, right when you aren't really hanging out with your 'close friends', right when they have figured out that you like to talk behind their backs, but don't like to support anything when confronted by them, that right then is when you decide to come and chit chat with me? How I see it, a few months ago, it was most convenient for you to not talk to me. The rest of your group wasn't talking to me, with the exception of one, I guess, and, well, it was no longer easy for you to do so, seeing as you apparently lack a mind of your own, and can't simply make your own decisions with your own fucking justification. Well, the way I actually see/know it went down is that you didn't want to talk to me anymore and were just too fucking chickenshit to come right out and say it. And hid behind what was going on with me and him as the easy route. And, now that you don't have anyone telling you what to do/feel about me, don't have anyone to hide behind, and, not only do you have noone to 'oppose' you, but you also would be going aginst them, and stabbing at them, well, now that all of those factors come into play, or rather disappear, then it's perfectly convenient for you and I to talk again, right? I'm guessing that, on the night you and I started talking again, you were most likely bored as hell and, what with noone to talk to online or get drunk with, well, then it was pretty convenient to scroll down you buddy list and unblock me and say 'boo!'. Well, I am not here at your convenience. So, go right ahead and drop out of my life, use him and his 'controlling demeanor' as an excuse, and keep on lying to me as to why you really did that, and then come right back in as my friend when it doesn't seem to conflict too much with your schedule, or should I say, the schedule of others.
You know, Hillary, I'm not even pissed that you left anymore. I'm not. I couldn't give a shit less. I went this long and proved to you, and more importantly, to myfuckingself, that I don't need to depend upon, nor have any need for your friendship. You weren't even that great of a friend to me then either. A good listener at times, sure, but apparently, you tired of that job real quick, didn't you? But you simply lacked the courage to come out and state that as your opinion. In all honesty, I don't really 'need' any of my friendships. Not to breathe and live. I have gone a long time telling others and myself that I need certain people in my life, but, when the things you hold dearest to you are stripped away, you learn real quick how to adjust. And I adjusted. Took awhile, but yeah, I don't absolutely need anyone in my life and I haven't ever, it just took me a good eighteen years or so to finally reach that realization. There are a select few I could count on my hand that I would genuinely miss and be hurt or sorrowful if they were to leave at this point. They help me define who I am. In more than one sense. They are my closest friends. I don't even know if 'friend' is the correct term for them. They are undefinable in my eyes, simply because my relationships with them transcend society's frivolous labels. And, just because I don't need my friends, it doesn't mean that I don't want them here or appreciate them or love them. But, it kind of seems to me as if you approached/re-approached me with the mind set that I would be grateful to you for returning. Well, I can assure you that grateful was not one of the many emotions I feel. Althought, based on how/who I was when you talked to me last, I guess I can somewhat see where you may get the impression that I may have been grateful/happy at your return. But, in my eyes, since you approached me when it was most convenient for you, and completely disregarded anything that had to do with my perspective, then I don't think I am a friend to you at all. And you aren't a friend to me. You are a lying bitch. Which seems to be a label you are getting quite frequently these days, isn't it?
You never really were one for rebellion. So why don't you stop while you're ahead. Like I said before, why don't you come to me when you're not lying to my face. Or rather, to my computer screen.
Actually, on second thought, don't come to me at all. I don't appreciate liars. Especially ones that don't even admit to their lies when they're called on them. I gave you the opportunity to at least back up what you said/felt. But you apparently lack the integrity to do even that much. You denied it all. Fucking Judas.
Sincerely Yours, Always and Forever,
Cassie
I am not any kind of leverage. I am not your counterweight that you can use against those who aren't tolerant of you at this moment or that. Isn't it a bit of a coincidence that the exact reason why you tell me you are such a 'rebel' by talking to me, and breaking all of these 'rules' is because you're going against this same group of individuals? Isn't the timing simply impecable? How, right when you aren't really hanging out with your 'close friends', right when they have figured out that you like to talk behind their backs, but don't like to support anything when confronted by them, that right then is when you decide to come and chit chat with me? How I see it, a few months ago, it was most convenient for you to not talk to me. The rest of your group wasn't talking to me, with the exception of one, I guess, and, well, it was no longer easy for you to do so, seeing as you apparently lack a mind of your own, and can't simply make your own decisions with your own fucking justification. Well, the way I actually see/know it went down is that you didn't want to talk to me anymore and were just too fucking chickenshit to come right out and say it. And hid behind what was going on with me and him as the easy route. And, now that you don't have anyone telling you what to do/feel about me, don't have anyone to hide behind, and, not only do you have noone to 'oppose' you, but you also would be going aginst them, and stabbing at them, well, now that all of those factors come into play, or rather disappear, then it's perfectly convenient for you and I to talk again, right? I'm guessing that, on the night you and I started talking again, you were most likely bored as hell and, what with noone to talk to online or get drunk with, well, then it was pretty convenient to scroll down you buddy list and unblock me and say 'boo!'. Well, I am not here at your convenience. So, go right ahead and drop out of my life, use him and his 'controlling demeanor' as an excuse, and keep on lying to me as to why you really did that, and then come right back in as my friend when it doesn't seem to conflict too much with your schedule, or should I say, the schedule of others.
You know, Hillary, I'm not even pissed that you left anymore. I'm not. I couldn't give a shit less. I went this long and proved to you, and more importantly, to myfuckingself, that I don't need to depend upon, nor have any need for your friendship. You weren't even that great of a friend to me then either. A good listener at times, sure, but apparently, you tired of that job real quick, didn't you? But you simply lacked the courage to come out and state that as your opinion. In all honesty, I don't really 'need' any of my friendships. Not to breathe and live. I have gone a long time telling others and myself that I need certain people in my life, but, when the things you hold dearest to you are stripped away, you learn real quick how to adjust. And I adjusted. Took awhile, but yeah, I don't absolutely need anyone in my life and I haven't ever, it just took me a good eighteen years or so to finally reach that realization. There are a select few I could count on my hand that I would genuinely miss and be hurt or sorrowful if they were to leave at this point. They help me define who I am. In more than one sense. They are my closest friends. I don't even know if 'friend' is the correct term for them. They are undefinable in my eyes, simply because my relationships with them transcend society's frivolous labels. And, just because I don't need my friends, it doesn't mean that I don't want them here or appreciate them or love them. But, it kind of seems to me as if you approached/re-approached me with the mind set that I would be grateful to you for returning. Well, I can assure you that grateful was not one of the many emotions I feel. Althought, based on how/who I was when you talked to me last, I guess I can somewhat see where you may get the impression that I may have been grateful/happy at your return. But, in my eyes, since you approached me when it was most convenient for you, and completely disregarded anything that had to do with my perspective, then I don't think I am a friend to you at all. And you aren't a friend to me. You are a lying bitch. Which seems to be a label you are getting quite frequently these days, isn't it?
You never really were one for rebellion. So why don't you stop while you're ahead. Like I said before, why don't you come to me when you're not lying to my face. Or rather, to my computer screen.
Actually, on second thought, don't come to me at all. I don't appreciate liars. Especially ones that don't even admit to their lies when they're called on them. I gave you the opportunity to at least back up what you said/felt. But you apparently lack the integrity to do even that much. You denied it all. Fucking Judas.
Sincerely Yours, Always and Forever,
Cassie