Entry #1
Wail. The uther day I was in the grocery store and thar was this awoman and she was twirlin' her hurr and I was like, hunny chile, you best stop actin' like a damn floozy and I kicked her plum in the cooter with mah tennis shoe. That heifer wallered on the floor and was kickin' and hollering and screamin' like y'all ain't never seen. Actin' like a baby when ya take its dadburn lollipop away. I ain't never seen no one actin' such a fool... so I's squat down 'bove her face and piss like I ain't never pissed before. She shat up then.
'course she was dead.