Lost
Katie got pretty aggrivated with me yesterday... and I feel really cacophonic about it. In other words... I feel like a total dick. I was talking shit about the Used, as I 've gotten so used to doing... and she took offense to it and made me feel about an inch tall. Yes... I do feel like a tyrannical bastard of sorts now,BUT the fucked up thing about the whole thing is that she wouldn't let me apologize to her. Which I've come to realize, I can't be upset about. I feel immensely sorry for making her mad, especially when she's going through all the perils of her hospital procedures... I miss her alot and I hope she gets better .. She told me that she might go to the camp for 5 weeks and I totally bummed out. The worst part about that was that I made her feel bad, which I totally regret. I should really learn to accept and deal with shit rather than try to find a way around it or bitch about it. So I will sit tight and totally support heron her trip and I'll make the best of it... for the simple reason of I love her and I want her to be happy. Fuck... I'm one huge bitch... I've decided to lose some weight, I don't want Katie to come back slimmed down and me ... engorged to the fucking brim, making her look bad... plus... its been a long time due. Fuck... its hot... my balls are sticking to the chair and I have on pants and a thong... did I say thong ... cause I meant panties... I mean underwear... fuck... I should really stop writing asinine thoughts. Ummm... home life sucks.... no job, no car, and no respect... its enough to drive you insane. KT is one of the only things that keep me happy and keep me here. That and music. Hey well Im cramping... later.
Ray
Ray