well..
just wanted to come on here and say some random things. ive been having strange dreams lately.. the other night i dreamed i was driving around in a car with April, Norman's sister, and we were just cruising around.. suddenly Norman and his boyfriend are in the backseat. i turn to them and tell Norm hello and then extend my hand to his boyfriend and introduce myself. he looks at me warily and then i remember waking up. after that i felt liberated and happy with life. i think it was an "im over it finally" kind of feeling. but then last night.. i have a dream where i go to some sort of comp. and im on the ground and when i look up in the top of the bleachers i see the drill team. i see norm too and i go up and say hi to everyone. norm's boy is there but its not him.. its a mexican guy and he obviously doesnt like me. im just talking to norm very casually catching up kind of.. but then he starts sending me text messages in my phone.. saying.. something to the effect of "im happy now, but if you say exactly the right thing this time, ill come back." something around there anyways.. i didnt wake up with a feeling of sadness or anything.. just a feeling of "huh?" it threw me off cause i dont know what my subconscience wants. i feel happy finally.. but i dont know.. i wish things hadnt ended the way they did. the one thing i would go back and change is pushing him away. it took loosing everything we had to make me realize that what i do. always. ive never been able to deal with love.. i need to work on that i guess.. it would have been nice to know early on but atleast i know now.. when im still young. i have time to work on things.
aside from all that stuff.. i wanted to go on and list some friends and things about them i love. :)
Monique: i love the way she has no inbetweens. she is "this" or she is "this". there is no middle. also how passionate she gets about cooking. i love eating :)
Cheryl: I love the way she'll bust into silly accents with me and how she doesnt give a shit what people think when were being dorks. I also love the way she always knows the right time when i need to go and get coffee and maybe a smoke. Lastly, i love the way she always waves goodbye when shes in front of my car after ive dropped her off at home, even though shes already said goodbyr.
Alex: I love the way he puts his whole heart into anything, even if he knows it isnt best. his whole heart is in it and that how he loves. i also love the way he doesnt care what people think about him, no matter how dorky he acts. =P
Rick: i love the way he's sophisticated and classy. and he's one of a few who always get what comes out of my mouth.. not many get my wry humour.
Yogi: I love what a sweetheart this boy is. He is always open to give you a chance fullheartedly, with no strings. He always looks for the good.
Tom: I love how giving and selfless he is. He is always there for so many, never giving mind to himself. I dont know where a lot of people would be if it werent for him.
Emily: I love how she loves her baby, and how she watches lame disney shows with me. :)
Ivann: I love how he's always there to get jamba with, and how i know i could tell him absolutely anything and he would understand or relate.
James: I love the way he's always there to help. Hes such a great leader and always has an adventure planned.
These are just several friends of mine and several things about them i love.
aside from all that stuff.. i wanted to go on and list some friends and things about them i love. :)
Monique: i love the way she has no inbetweens. she is "this" or she is "this". there is no middle. also how passionate she gets about cooking. i love eating :)
Cheryl: I love the way she'll bust into silly accents with me and how she doesnt give a shit what people think when were being dorks. I also love the way she always knows the right time when i need to go and get coffee and maybe a smoke. Lastly, i love the way she always waves goodbye when shes in front of my car after ive dropped her off at home, even though shes already said goodbyr.
Alex: I love the way he puts his whole heart into anything, even if he knows it isnt best. his whole heart is in it and that how he loves. i also love the way he doesnt care what people think about him, no matter how dorky he acts. =P
Rick: i love the way he's sophisticated and classy. and he's one of a few who always get what comes out of my mouth.. not many get my wry humour.
Yogi: I love what a sweetheart this boy is. He is always open to give you a chance fullheartedly, with no strings. He always looks for the good.
Tom: I love how giving and selfless he is. He is always there for so many, never giving mind to himself. I dont know where a lot of people would be if it werent for him.
Emily: I love how she loves her baby, and how she watches lame disney shows with me. :)
Ivann: I love how he's always there to get jamba with, and how i know i could tell him absolutely anything and he would understand or relate.
James: I love the way he's always there to help. Hes such a great leader and always has an adventure planned.
These are just several friends of mine and several things about them i love.