(no subject)
She can't give me an answer. Simple question: Are you serious about me, or is this just fun? She can't answer. After 3 1/2 years. Claims she needs us to be more stable before she can answer. I need to move in, get a normal job, have a constant schedule. No more traveling, no more hanging out with my family every day.
She doesn't like feeling like part of the family. It's "too friendly", too much like she's been adopted as the third daughter. Yes, sounds terrible, I know. I guess it's supposed to stilted and awkward and they're supposed to hate the girlfriend, like her mother hates me, and her stepmother can never quite be normal with me, because she was Lindsey's sounding board through the beginning of our relationship. I have a great reputation. I guess that's more like what's she's looking for.
Problem is, I have a welcoming family. I am inconstant, and unstable, and spontaneous. I can't tamp myself down because she refuses to give me an answer otherwise. And I'm pretty sure even if I did, she'd find another reason she couldn't give me an answer.
Love me for my spontaneity, my commitment to family; Don't try to change it. And if you don't love it, tell me. Don't pretend you do, or sit there and hope it will change. I'm not changing two of the things I actually like about myself.
I googled how to break up and move on. Stupid advice, stuff everyone knows. Keep yourself busy, don't talk to them, etc etc. I need help on the willpower part. Any advice?
:'(
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