My Curse...?
Im not supposed to be frustrated...he said he has feelings....apparently i just can not be satisfied. Its unfair of me. Im going to forget he ever told me, i think that would be a much better plan than anything else could possibly be. What other plan could i possibly have? 10 bucks says he prolly regrets telling me. I wonder if this is how im going to think forever about guys...why him tho...this soooo sucks. Why cant i just be happy that he told me, and atleast admitted it, how freakin long have i known him? It feels like we've been doing the merry-go-round bullshit forever. Im soooo glad i got the Sex and the City dvd's....i feel like im carrie, and i just wanna hear it like she wanted to hear it from BIG...but now that i have that....carrie always wants more....good god, lets just hope he doesnt move to paris....haha, joke people, joke! Then if i really get thinking about it, what if he just said it, to continue the way everything was....am i always gonna think this way b/c of david, he used to say things just to get what he wanted...is this my curse? I dont want it to be, and maybe my curse is just to think that he's thinking this way...i warned keith, that the reason i dont want a relationship is b/c i'll find some way to mess it up....IM ALREADY FUCKING IT UP IN MY HEAD...and all the poor guy has done is admitted he has feelings back, something ive wanted to hear from him for quite awhile. Sometimes i wish id keep my big mouth shut, but then i guess i wouldnt know, and he already said me leaving late to athens yesterday was productive b/c i found out he does have feelings. And when i mentioned sending a lucky guy my way to kiss me at midnight, he did say he doesnt want to set me up with anyone else b/c he wants a chance. Why does it have to be a double edged sword? I said i didnt want a relationship, but what if i was lying to myself...and now him...
Yeah...this time im for sure keeping my mouth shut, and in our case text messages to a minimum...
And doesnt he get it, he has a better chance than anyone...
Yeah so things are good, but frustrating, and part of me thinks, i dont care, things will happen just like they are supposed to, they have so far, and ive been happy.
Its officially Monday as i write this, so its officially SUGAR BOWL DAY!!!!!! At 8 p.m....im gonna be in the Georgia Dome, watching the best team on earth!!!! I AM SOOOO EXCITED!
I think i've written enough for now, even tho, a lot more is flowing in my head.....
Yeah...this time im for sure keeping my mouth shut, and in our case text messages to a minimum...
And doesnt he get it, he has a better chance than anyone...
Yeah so things are good, but frustrating, and part of me thinks, i dont care, things will happen just like they are supposed to, they have so far, and ive been happy.
Its officially Monday as i write this, so its officially SUGAR BOWL DAY!!!!!! At 8 p.m....im gonna be in the Georgia Dome, watching the best team on earth!!!! I AM SOOOO EXCITED!
I think i've written enough for now, even tho, a lot more is flowing in my head.....