An Ill-Considered Wager (Farscape/Firefly/Doctor Who/Torchwood)
Title: An Ill-Considered Wager
Setting/Spoilers: This takes place in Farscape s2 right before "The Ugly Truth," Firefly post series pre-movie, Doctor Who S4 after "The Unicorn and the Wasp," and Torchwood S2 right before "Reset"
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They all belong to respective creators and distributors. I make no profit from this work of fiction.
One moment, Donna was standing in the TARDIS, across the center console from the Doctor. After flipping a few switches, the Doctor looked up and saw someone else entirely.
The tall woman with long black hair drew a weapon. “Who the frell are you?!”
She backed up towards the wall, also covering another target to the Doctor’s right. He looked and saw another human with white hair tied back in a ponytail. He raised his hands.
“Let’s just all calm down a minute.”
“I agree,” the Doctor said, also raising his hands. “How did you two get here?”
“Where am I?” the woman demanded.
“First, you put down the gun,” the Doctor said steadily. “No one’s going to harm you. I have no weapons.”
“Neither do I. I’m a priest,” the other man added.
The woman slowly lowered her gun and slowed her breathing with practiced ease. “All right. Now, where am I?”
“You’re on my ship,” the Doctor answered, lowering his hands. “As for how you two got here and where my friend went, I have no idea. I can take some readings and try to get to the bottom of this. Where were you before you were here?”
“I was on my ship,” the woman answered.
“Me too,” the priest replied.
“I’m the Doctor, and this is my ship. The TARDIS.” He looked at the woman and frowned slightly. “And you’re not human.”
“Sebacean,” she answered. “I’m Aeryn Sun.”
The Doctor broke into a wide grin. “Sebacean! Goodness, I haven’t been to that side of universe in ages!”
The priest was still confused. “She looks human … “
The Doctor shrugged. “So do I.”
Aeryn looked doubtful. “You’re Sebacean?”
“Nope! Sorry, what was your name?” the Doctor asked turning to the other man.
“Shepherd Book. So … what does that make you then, Doctor …?”
“Just The Doctor,” he answered, attacking the console for readings that might be of any help to him.
“You’re avoiding the question,” Aeryn pursued. “What species are you, Doctor?”
He paused for a moment. “Time Lord.”
Aeryn laughed. “You’re joking.”
He shook his head and resumed his readings.
“But … they’re just a myth,” she said slowly.
“Apparently, I’m missing something,” Book commented. “But never mind that, how do we get home?”
“Well, I could just fly you back home, but I’d like to at least figure out how you got here first,” the Doctor answered. “The only other time someone materialized on my ship, it was a one in a billion shot.”
~~~
The last time Donna Noble had materialized on a spaceship, it had been a one in a billion shot. She could hardly believe it was happening again.
“Doctor?!” she called, looking around the foreign cargo bay.
All of a sudden, a gray blur rushed in front of her and tackled her to ground, screaming, “Where am I?! What’ve you done?!”
“Get off me!” Donna shrieked, trying to push the strange creature away.
“What is going on here?!” a new, female voice shouted. “How did you get in here?”
“Get her off me, or so help me, I will kick her off!” The gray creature backed off, crouching low and looking warily at the two women. Now that Donna could sit up and catch her breath, she saw that the “creature” was actually a petite, gray woman.
An elegant human in Asian-inspired dress gracefully descended the stairs and leveled a pistol at the both of them. “How did you two get here? Where’s the rest of the crew?”
Donna raised her hands. “Look, I’m not armed, and I’ve never met Grumpy Bear over there in my life. I don’t know how I got here, all right? And I haven’t seen anyone else.”
The gray girl raised a much more futuristic-looking pistol. “Well, I am armed, but I haven’t seen your crew either. Just take me back to Moya, and no one will get hurt.”
“Who’s Moya?” the other woman asked.
“My ship!”
Donna stood up. “Look, we’re not going to get any answers pointing guns at each other. Let’s just settle down and talk. We can figure this out.”
The elegant woman reluctantly lowered her gun. “You’re not stowaways then?”
“Not this time,” the gray woman said, lowering her weapon.
“My name’s Donna. Last thing I knew, I was standing on my ship - well, not really mine - the next thing I know, I’m in here, getting jumped on by a … what are you?”
“The name’s Chiana, and I’m a Nebari,” she answered. “You two … don’t look like Peacekeepers.”
“No, I’m … human. Inara,” the dark-haired woman answered. “You’re … an alien?”
“Oh, it’s your first one?” Donna said with a smile. “Always weird the first time.”
Chiana blinked. “Hoo-man? Like … Crichton?”
“Chiana, what happened to you? How did you get here?” Donna asked, since she could tell Inara was still in shock.
“Same thing as you. I was on Moya, mindin’ my own business, and suddenly I end up here.”
“All right. Let’s go to the bridge, and see if we can find either of your ships or my crew,” Inara said, gathering herself back together.
~~~
“Where’s my crew?!” Mal demanded, aiming his pistol at the other two … males.
The other two men, one who appeared to be human, and another that didn’t also leveled weapons.
“Look, both of you, just calm down,” the other human said.
“I do not answer to Peacekeepers,” the alien growled.
“I’m not a Peacekeeper,” the man answered steadily. “I’m human. Captain Jack Harkness. And unless you want get yourselves killed, I suggest you listen to exactly what I say.”
Mal looked around the foreign ship. “Where are we?”
“We are someplace you do not want to be unless you’re a Dalek,” Jack stated. “Now listen. If you want to live, we need to stop pointing weapons at each other and find a place to hide. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” the alien said, lowering his bizarre-looking sword.
Mal reluctantly lowered his gun as Jack also lowered his.
Jack looked around. “Follow me.” They managed to find an empty storage room without running into anyone else.
“Since now would not be the place for tactful speech, I’m forced to just come out and ask. What are you?” Mal demanded of the alien.
“I am a Luxan, and my name is Ka D’Argo. Where did you two come from?”
“We’re not together, though I can’t say I’d object if we were,” Jack said, giving Mal an appreciative glance.
“And you are?” D’Argo asked, ignoring Jack.
“Captain Malcolm Reynolds. Also human, since that seems to be in question. Another thing, what exactly is a Daw-leck?”
“Another alien. A killing machine, pretty much completely invulnerable,” Jack replied. “I don’t know how I got here. I was at the office, working with my team, and then I was here. What about you two?”
D’Argo shook his head. “I experienced the same. I was on my ship Moya, and then I was here.”
“Likewise,” Mal answered. “Since you seem to at least know where we are, Captain Harkness, don’t suppose you have a notion as to how to get home?”
Jack frowned. “You know, you talk like you’re from another era, yet you don’t seem overly intimidated by the technology around you. Where are you from on Earth?”
Mal blinked. “Earth? You mean, Earth-that-was? Do I look that old?”
Jack nodded in understanding. “Parallel universe. Interesting.”
“Come again?”
“Never mind. I’ve got an idea,” Jack said, taking out his cell phone.
~~~
One moment, Martha Jones was walking down a hospital corridor, the next, she found herself walking towards a large alien with four arms. She wasn’t in London anymore.
She let out an involuntary scream and backed up, only to trip over a small, yellow mechanical … thing. “Where am I?!”
“Who are you?! Where did you come from?” the alien demanded.
Another human, a thin girl, stood on top of the alien’s console. “We fell through and found you.”
“Get down from there! You’ll damage something!” the alien shouted.
The girl ignored him and put a hand on the wall next to the console. “No. I wouldn’t hurt her. She’s so gentle.”
The alien’s round eyes widened slightly. “You … can speak to Moya?”
“What is going on here? Where am I?” Martha interrupted. “And who is Moya?”
“Moya is this ship,” the girl answered, crouching down. “She’s alive.”
Martha looked around her as she got to her feet. “Like … the TARDIS?” she said to herself. She turned back to face the two strangers and took a deep breath. “My name is Dr. Martha Jones. I’m from Earth.”
The alien looked startled. “You are human? Like Crichton?” He looked over at the crouching girl. “And you?”
She nodded. “But not from Earth-That-Was.”
“Earth-That … what?” Martha asked.
“I am called Pilot,” the alien said. “Moya and I are home to … a crew, of sorts. Now they are no longer on our scanners. At the same moment they disappeared, you two appeared.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Martha said calmly, coming a little closer and raising her hands palm up. “I was just minding my own business, and then I was here. What about you … miss …?”
“River,” she answered. “I was on Serenity. She’s a beautiful ship, but she doesn’t talk back like Moya does.”
“Okay … but did you do anything strange that might have resulted in us … teleporting?”
River shook her head.
“Pilot? Anything strange happen before this?”
“No. All scans and systems were normal.”
And then Martha’s phone rang.
~~~
John Crichton, having lived for years among aliens, was suddenly surprised to find himself surrounded by humans. He looked around in alarm. “Aeryn?! D’Argo?! Anybody!”
People passing by looked at him quizzically and kept on walking. He looked around; all of the signs appeared to be in English. I’m on Earth? he wondered. How is that possible?
He could hear a man with a British-sounding accent approaching. “Jack? Tosh? Gwen? Owen! Anyone! Is anyone there?!” Crichton could see he was wearing an impeccable three-piece suit and repeatedly tapping a silver device on his ear.
Crichton looked down at his own comm and decided to give it a try. “Pilot? Aeryn?”
The two men stopped and stared at each other.
A young woman in greasy coveralls nearly ran them over. “Please, can you tell me where I am? I haven’t been at the bottle, I swear, I just showed up here, and I don’t know where I am!”
The man in the suit put his hands on her shoulders. “You’re in London, miss. What’s your name?”
“London? No, I mean to say, what planet? Ain’t none of this look familiar!”
“Um, you’re on Earth, miss. Are you supposed to be somewhere else?”
Crichton moved closer to them. London. Huh. Never been here before. But if she’s from another planet …
“I’m supposed to be on my ship!” she cried, nearing panic. “I was on Serenity, fixing up the engine, and then I was here!”
“My name is Ianto Jones. I can help you, miss. What’s your name?”
“Kaylee. Kaylee Frye.” Crichton watched as she stopped and looked at Ianto properly for the first time. He could practically see the stars in her eyes from where he was.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Crichton said politely. “But I think we might all be in the same boat. I was … somewhere else, and then I was here.”
“Me, too,” Ianto answered. “I was miles away, in Cardiff, and then I was here, and I can’t reach anyone on my team.”
“John Crichton,” he said, shaking hands with Ianto and then Kaylee. “Is there somewhere a bit more private we can go to talk?”
Ianto scanned the area and then took a small device from his pocket, consulting it. “There’s an old Torchwood safehouse just around the corner. Let’s head there.”
“Torchwood?” Kaylee asked.
“That’s the company I work for,” Ianto explained, as he guided her through the London crowd. “And we’re used to dealing with … unusual cases.”
~~~
Before long, Ianto had Crichton and Kaylee settled in a boarded up shop with mugs of tea.
“I apologize for the mess. Clearly, this place hasn’t been used in some time,” Ianto said, fiddling with his own tea.
“I work in an engine room; I don’t mind none,” Kaylee commented, sipping her tea.
Ianto left his on the counter and turned to face the two strangers. “All right. As I said, I work for Torchwood. We handle all alien encounters on behalf of the United Kingdom. May I inquire how you arrived here, and where you’re from?”
“Originally, I’m from Earth,” Crichton answered. “I was working on the Farscape project, and I got shot through a wormhole to another part of the universe. I’ve been living there for almost two years. And then, without even leaving my ship, I end up here.” He looked around thoughtfully. “Probably just another trick.”
“I assure you, Mr. Crichton, this is all very real. Now that you’re back, we’ll be able to find your family and get you home.”
“But I …” Crichton trailed off. He’d been trying to get home for so long, he never stopped to think what would happen when he actually did it. What about Aeryn and the others?
“And you, Miss Frye?”
She blushed. “Oh, please, call me Kaylee. I’m … not really sure what y’all are talking about … unless I’ve travelled back in time. Earth don’t exist no more where I’m from. I live out in the black on a ship called Serenity. Do you know how to get me home?”
“I’m not sure, Kaylee. If only I could reach someone -“ He paused, cocking his head to one side and tapping his earpiece. “Owen! Is that you?”
~~~
“Yes, it’s me, you bloomin’ teaboy!” Owen yelled into his earpiece. “I don’t know where you all ran off to, but I’ve got a serious security breach on my hands. Get back here now!”
“I don’t know how to tell you this, Owen, but I’m in London.”
“Quit joking around, Ianto. You were just here.”
“I know. I’m not sure what’s going on. What’s the Rift doing?”
“Nothing! That was the first thing I checked after I locked down the intruders!”
“Wait, what intruders?”
“These two blokes showed up out of nowhere! One alien, one human. I checked the security camera three times. They just appeared. Claim to have no idea what’s going on.”
“Owen, considering what happened to me, they might be telling the truth. And I ran into two people that came out of nowhere, too. Well, not nowhere, but … wait, what are the names of the intruders?”
“The alien creep that looks half-Weevil calls himself Scorpius. The human is a Dr. Simon Tam. And they apparently don’t know each other from Adam.”
“Okay, hold on.” He turned to John and Kaylee. “Do the names Scorpius or Simon Tam mean anything to you?”
Kaylee and John both leapt to their feet and started talking at the same time.
“Simon! You know where Simon is?! Can I talk to him?”
“I sure as hell know Scorpius, but I can’t guarantee he’s got nothing to do with this,” Crichton said at the same time.
Ianto paused. “Owen, they each know one of the intruders. Something very strange is going on.”
“Really? What was your first clue? Look, just get back here! We’ll sort it out.”
“Agreed.”
~~~
“Okay, everybody just calm down,” Gwen said, holding her gun out in front of her. The two men facing her held weapons of their own, and they looked fairly futuristic. “One thing at a time,” she continued. “Where are we?”
“Yer somewhere you ain’t supposed to be,” the man with the biggest gun answered. He looked around the luxurious room with differently colored curtains. “And I ain’t supposed to be here neither! I don’t even know how I got here, but I know you two definitely shouldn’t be, unless you’re clients.”
“I don’t know how I got here,” Gwen said evenly. “I was at my office, and then suddenly I was here with the two of you. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“Nor I,” said the other man. “So, since you, sir, at least know where we are, perhaps you could enlighten us?”
The man with the biggest gun hesitated.
“Look, I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Gwen said, still keeping an even tone. “So, what’s say we all put down our weapons and figure out how we all got here? Agreed?”
The men reluctantly nodded, and the three of them lowered their weapons.
“That’s better,” Gwen said. “My name is Gwen Cooper, and I’m from Torchwood.”
“Bialar Crais, former Peacekeeper,” the man to her left stated.
“Jayne Cobb. Excuse me,” he said, moving between Gwen and Crais and pushing aside a curtain.
“Oh my God!” Gwen cried. “We’re in outer space!”
The two men gave her an odd look.
“Ain’t you ever been in the black?” Jayne asked as he pushed some buttons on the console.
“May I ask what you’re doing?” Crais countered.
“Trying to see where we are and get a hold of anybody,” Jayne answered.
“Hello?” a female voice came over the speakers. “Who is in my shuttle?”
“Inara! Are you on Serenity? Where the hell are you?”
“Jayne?! What are you doing on my shuttle?”
“I didn’t touch nothing! I don’t know how I got here, or how the shuttle got separated from Serenity. Where’s the Captain?”
“That’s just the thing. I have no idea. The entire crew disappeared, and these two complete strangers showed up in the cargo hold. They don’t seem to have anything to do with what’s happened, though. Are you alone?”
“No … two strangers showed up here, too.” He turned to face them, hand on his gun. “Either of you have a notion as to what’s going on? Where’s the rest of our crew?”
“No idea,” Gwen answered, shaking her head.
“I had nothing to do with this,” Crais added. “I was on my ship Talyn, and then I was here.”
Jayne did not look entirely convinced but turned back to face the console.
“Inara, what’s your position? I can’t take much more of this gorram perfume.”
~~~
“Where the frell did you to come from!?” Rygel demanded, even as he had weapons pointed in his direction. “You don’t belong here! Either of you!”
“Where am I?” the woman demanded, looking around nervously. “How did you do that?”
“Normally, I would take the credit,” the man answered, keeping a pen-like device pointed at the woman. “But this wasn’t my doing. In fact, I’m not even quite sure where we are.” He grinned happily. “How delightful! A surprise!”
“Well, I don’t care how the frell either of you arrived!” Rygel shouted. “I am Dominar Rygel XVI, and you are intruders on my ship! I demand you leave, or I will send you out the airlock!”
The woman smirked. “And yet, you’re the one without a weapon, Dominar.”
“And he’s also a liar,” the man said, looking around more carefully. “This isn’t your ship.”
“I was on it first!”
The woman frowned slightly. “How do you know he’s lying?”
“The ship told me,” the man answered, nearly completely distracted by his surroundings. “He’s young … so, very, very young.”
“You can talk … to ships?” the woman queried.
The man looked at her. “Only the ones that talk back.”
“Okay, so this is startin’ to climb on my stuff-that-don’t-make-sense list. I’m in a room with a weirdo, a talking toad, and a talking ship.”
Rygel bristled. “I am not a toab, I’m a -”
“Hynerian,” the man supplied. “Obviously.”
“How did you -“
“Oh, do shut it,” the man said, firing his weapon directly at the woman’s gun, forcing her to drop it. He picked up the discarded gun and pocketed it. Once he was free to move around, he ran his hands over the console, fascinated.
“This is crude but unusual. A crossbred Leviathan.”
The woman folded her arms and leaned against the wall. “What is that supposed to mean?”
The man grinned. “It means it had weapons. And Leviathans aren’t supposed to have weapons. So, he’s young, confused, and dangerous.”
“He has a name,” Rygel interjected. “It’s Talyn. I think it’s high time you told us yours.”
“I’m the Master.”
“That’s not a name,” the woman pointed out. “That’s a title.”
The Master shrugged. “I chose it as my name.”
The woman moved closer to him. “I’m Saffron. So, if that thing is a Hyberian -“
“Hynerian!” Rygel cried.
“Whatever. And this - ship - we’re on is a Leviathan … what does that make you?”
He looked over his shoulder at her for a moment. “A Time Lord.”
Rygel roared with laughter. “Time Lord?! They’re just a myth.”
“In this part of the universe, that’s exactly what you would think,” the Master said, still absorbed in his study of Talyn.
Rygel sobered. “You can’t be serious.”
Saffron grinned, moving closer to him. “Sounds impressive.”
“And, in this part of the universe, anyone would easily mistake you for a Sebacean,” the Master announced, turning to face Saffron properly. “But you’re not. You’re human.”
“What?!” Rygel gasped. “Impossible!”
Saffron just giggled good-naturedly. “Guilty as charged, unless that’s a crime around these parts.”
“How did you two get here?” Rygel tried again.
“No idea,” the Master answered, turning back to the controls. “I shouldn’t even still exist and yet, here we are. A human, a Hynerian, and a Time Lord trapped in an armed Leviathan. Tell me, your Highness, why are you not sitting on a throne?”
Rygel squirmed. “I was … deposed.”
“I see,” the Master said, nodding. “And what you say if I told you that with this ship and my brain, I could fix that problem for you?”
“I would be most … intrigued.”
~~~
Wash and the young woman tried vainly to calm the man with the bizarre metal mask.
“Look, we need you to calm down,” Wash said, touching the man’s shoulder.
“Nononono! Can’t be here! Shouldn’t be here! Scorpius will find me! Put me in the chair!” the man cried, gesticulating wildly.
“Okay, look, we won’t let this Scorpius find you, all right? Just calm down and tell us where we are,” the blond woman said soothingly. When she touched his arm, he quieted and turned to face her.
“You’re … strange,” he murmured.
Wash bit his lip to keep from laughing.
“I’m Rose. What’s your name?”
“Stark.”
“Stark, can you tell us where we are?”
Stark looked between Wash and Rose. “… not Peacekeepers?”
“No, I’m human,” Rose answered calmly. “From Earth.”
Wash blinked. “Uh, I’m human, too … didn’t know that was in question.”
Rose looked up at him and smiled warmly. “You never know, Mr. ….?”
“Just call me Wash.” He looked at Stark. “Is he an … alien?”
“Not human. Only Crichton. All alone,” Stark muttered.
“Do you know where we are?” Wash asked, feeling more uneasy.
“Command Carrier. Peacekeepers. Scorpius could be here - shouldn’t stay!”
“Peacekeepers,” Wash attempted to scoff. “How bad can they be?”
“Humans … Peacekeepers will use you. Try to find Crichton. Take your blood. Take your brain!”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound fun,” Wash commented.
“Stark, do you know somewhere we can hide?” Rose asked.
The apparent alien nodded and led them through some hallways, passing a large launch bay. Wash nearly stopped in his tracks. The ships and shuttles were like nothing he had seen before. The designs were advanced and foreign. He started to worry he had somehow been taken by a new branch of the Alliance. And how can Rose be from Earth? It doesn’t exist anymore!
Stark led them to a small storage closet.
“Were those people Peacekeepers?” Rose asked.
“Yes, yes. Not good. Need to get back to Moya.”
“But they looked human!” Wash protested.
Rose smiled again. “So does he. Sort of.”
They were startled by a loud knock on the door.
~~~
At the same time in a parallel universe, three women were working together efficiently. Toshiko Sato was working with Zoe to contact her ship Serenity. Zoe has quickly gotten over her surprise at seeing an alien for the first time; after only a few minutes, she had given Pa’u Zotoh Zhaan her gun and instructed her to watch the door to the computer lab inside the high tech hospital Ariel.
It was the night shift, so the medical facility was a bit quieter than during the day.
“I think I’ve got something,” Toshiko announced, looking up at Zoe. “Try it now.” Zoe leaned over and pressed a button. “Serenity, this is Zoe. Baby, can you hear me?”
There was some crackling before a deep, male voice answered. “I ain’t your baby, Zoe, last I checked.”
“Jayne! Where’s Wash?”
“Damned if I know! One minute, I’m mindin’ my own business in my bunk, the next I’m in Inara’s shuttle with two strangers, and Serenity is twenty minutes away! When I got here, there was only Inara and two other strangers. One of them’s a weird alien … thing. Where the hell are you?”
“I don’t know how I got here, but I’m on Ariel. Can you come get us?”
“Us? Who else is there with you? The Cap’n?”
“No. Two other strangers,” she said as she exchanged a glance with Toshiko. “Something really weird is going on. We’re splitting up and turning up in threes. Anyway, come get us before they find the alien with us.”
“Male or female?”
“Jayne! Just come get us!”
“Got it. Serenity out.”
“He sounds … charming,” Toshiko commented.
“Any idea on what’s happening?” Zhaan asked from the doorway. “How did we get here?”
“It sounds like this is far too organized to be a random, natural phenomenon,” Toshiko stated. “Something very strange is going on. I shouldn’t even be here. This is a parallel universe. It’s impossible!”
“Perhaps when we pool our resources, we will be able to sort it out,” Zhaan suggested.
“Serenity doesn’t have advanced computers like this,” Zoe warned. “We’re just a transport ship.”
“Maybe some of the other ‘visitors’ will know what’s going on,” Toshiko said. “I looked at this system, and I can’t find anything unusual. No sudden increase in patients or reports of bizarre weather phenomena. I think whatever’s happening … it’s limited to us.”
Setting/Spoilers: This takes place in Farscape s2 right before "The Ugly Truth," Firefly post series pre-movie, Doctor Who S4 after "The Unicorn and the Wasp," and Torchwood S2 right before "Reset"
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They all belong to respective creators and distributors. I make no profit from this work of fiction.
One moment, Donna was standing in the TARDIS, across the center console from the Doctor. After flipping a few switches, the Doctor looked up and saw someone else entirely.
The tall woman with long black hair drew a weapon. “Who the frell are you?!”
She backed up towards the wall, also covering another target to the Doctor’s right. He looked and saw another human with white hair tied back in a ponytail. He raised his hands.
“Let’s just all calm down a minute.”
“I agree,” the Doctor said, also raising his hands. “How did you two get here?”
“Where am I?” the woman demanded.
“First, you put down the gun,” the Doctor said steadily. “No one’s going to harm you. I have no weapons.”
“Neither do I. I’m a priest,” the other man added.
The woman slowly lowered her gun and slowed her breathing with practiced ease. “All right. Now, where am I?”
“You’re on my ship,” the Doctor answered, lowering his hands. “As for how you two got here and where my friend went, I have no idea. I can take some readings and try to get to the bottom of this. Where were you before you were here?”
“I was on my ship,” the woman answered.
“Me too,” the priest replied.
“I’m the Doctor, and this is my ship. The TARDIS.” He looked at the woman and frowned slightly. “And you’re not human.”
“Sebacean,” she answered. “I’m Aeryn Sun.”
The Doctor broke into a wide grin. “Sebacean! Goodness, I haven’t been to that side of universe in ages!”
The priest was still confused. “She looks human … “
The Doctor shrugged. “So do I.”
Aeryn looked doubtful. “You’re Sebacean?”
“Nope! Sorry, what was your name?” the Doctor asked turning to the other man.
“Shepherd Book. So … what does that make you then, Doctor …?”
“Just The Doctor,” he answered, attacking the console for readings that might be of any help to him.
“You’re avoiding the question,” Aeryn pursued. “What species are you, Doctor?”
He paused for a moment. “Time Lord.”
Aeryn laughed. “You’re joking.”
He shook his head and resumed his readings.
“But … they’re just a myth,” she said slowly.
“Apparently, I’m missing something,” Book commented. “But never mind that, how do we get home?”
“Well, I could just fly you back home, but I’d like to at least figure out how you got here first,” the Doctor answered. “The only other time someone materialized on my ship, it was a one in a billion shot.”
~~~
The last time Donna Noble had materialized on a spaceship, it had been a one in a billion shot. She could hardly believe it was happening again.
“Doctor?!” she called, looking around the foreign cargo bay.
All of a sudden, a gray blur rushed in front of her and tackled her to ground, screaming, “Where am I?! What’ve you done?!”
“Get off me!” Donna shrieked, trying to push the strange creature away.
“What is going on here?!” a new, female voice shouted. “How did you get in here?”
“Get her off me, or so help me, I will kick her off!” The gray creature backed off, crouching low and looking warily at the two women. Now that Donna could sit up and catch her breath, she saw that the “creature” was actually a petite, gray woman.
An elegant human in Asian-inspired dress gracefully descended the stairs and leveled a pistol at the both of them. “How did you two get here? Where’s the rest of the crew?”
Donna raised her hands. “Look, I’m not armed, and I’ve never met Grumpy Bear over there in my life. I don’t know how I got here, all right? And I haven’t seen anyone else.”
The gray girl raised a much more futuristic-looking pistol. “Well, I am armed, but I haven’t seen your crew either. Just take me back to Moya, and no one will get hurt.”
“Who’s Moya?” the other woman asked.
“My ship!”
Donna stood up. “Look, we’re not going to get any answers pointing guns at each other. Let’s just settle down and talk. We can figure this out.”
The elegant woman reluctantly lowered her gun. “You’re not stowaways then?”
“Not this time,” the gray woman said, lowering her weapon.
“My name’s Donna. Last thing I knew, I was standing on my ship - well, not really mine - the next thing I know, I’m in here, getting jumped on by a … what are you?”
“The name’s Chiana, and I’m a Nebari,” she answered. “You two … don’t look like Peacekeepers.”
“No, I’m … human. Inara,” the dark-haired woman answered. “You’re … an alien?”
“Oh, it’s your first one?” Donna said with a smile. “Always weird the first time.”
Chiana blinked. “Hoo-man? Like … Crichton?”
“Chiana, what happened to you? How did you get here?” Donna asked, since she could tell Inara was still in shock.
“Same thing as you. I was on Moya, mindin’ my own business, and suddenly I end up here.”
“All right. Let’s go to the bridge, and see if we can find either of your ships or my crew,” Inara said, gathering herself back together.
~~~
“Where’s my crew?!” Mal demanded, aiming his pistol at the other two … males.
The other two men, one who appeared to be human, and another that didn’t also leveled weapons.
“Look, both of you, just calm down,” the other human said.
“I do not answer to Peacekeepers,” the alien growled.
“I’m not a Peacekeeper,” the man answered steadily. “I’m human. Captain Jack Harkness. And unless you want get yourselves killed, I suggest you listen to exactly what I say.”
Mal looked around the foreign ship. “Where are we?”
“We are someplace you do not want to be unless you’re a Dalek,” Jack stated. “Now listen. If you want to live, we need to stop pointing weapons at each other and find a place to hide. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” the alien said, lowering his bizarre-looking sword.
Mal reluctantly lowered his gun as Jack also lowered his.
Jack looked around. “Follow me.” They managed to find an empty storage room without running into anyone else.
“Since now would not be the place for tactful speech, I’m forced to just come out and ask. What are you?” Mal demanded of the alien.
“I am a Luxan, and my name is Ka D’Argo. Where did you two come from?”
“We’re not together, though I can’t say I’d object if we were,” Jack said, giving Mal an appreciative glance.
“And you are?” D’Argo asked, ignoring Jack.
“Captain Malcolm Reynolds. Also human, since that seems to be in question. Another thing, what exactly is a Daw-leck?”
“Another alien. A killing machine, pretty much completely invulnerable,” Jack replied. “I don’t know how I got here. I was at the office, working with my team, and then I was here. What about you two?”
D’Argo shook his head. “I experienced the same. I was on my ship Moya, and then I was here.”
“Likewise,” Mal answered. “Since you seem to at least know where we are, Captain Harkness, don’t suppose you have a notion as to how to get home?”
Jack frowned. “You know, you talk like you’re from another era, yet you don’t seem overly intimidated by the technology around you. Where are you from on Earth?”
Mal blinked. “Earth? You mean, Earth-that-was? Do I look that old?”
Jack nodded in understanding. “Parallel universe. Interesting.”
“Come again?”
“Never mind. I’ve got an idea,” Jack said, taking out his cell phone.
~~~
One moment, Martha Jones was walking down a hospital corridor, the next, she found herself walking towards a large alien with four arms. She wasn’t in London anymore.
She let out an involuntary scream and backed up, only to trip over a small, yellow mechanical … thing. “Where am I?!”
“Who are you?! Where did you come from?” the alien demanded.
Another human, a thin girl, stood on top of the alien’s console. “We fell through and found you.”
“Get down from there! You’ll damage something!” the alien shouted.
The girl ignored him and put a hand on the wall next to the console. “No. I wouldn’t hurt her. She’s so gentle.”
The alien’s round eyes widened slightly. “You … can speak to Moya?”
“What is going on here? Where am I?” Martha interrupted. “And who is Moya?”
“Moya is this ship,” the girl answered, crouching down. “She’s alive.”
Martha looked around her as she got to her feet. “Like … the TARDIS?” she said to herself. She turned back to face the two strangers and took a deep breath. “My name is Dr. Martha Jones. I’m from Earth.”
The alien looked startled. “You are human? Like Crichton?” He looked over at the crouching girl. “And you?”
She nodded. “But not from Earth-That-Was.”
“Earth-That … what?” Martha asked.
“I am called Pilot,” the alien said. “Moya and I are home to … a crew, of sorts. Now they are no longer on our scanners. At the same moment they disappeared, you two appeared.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Martha said calmly, coming a little closer and raising her hands palm up. “I was just minding my own business, and then I was here. What about you … miss …?”
“River,” she answered. “I was on Serenity. She’s a beautiful ship, but she doesn’t talk back like Moya does.”
“Okay … but did you do anything strange that might have resulted in us … teleporting?”
River shook her head.
“Pilot? Anything strange happen before this?”
“No. All scans and systems were normal.”
And then Martha’s phone rang.
~~~
John Crichton, having lived for years among aliens, was suddenly surprised to find himself surrounded by humans. He looked around in alarm. “Aeryn?! D’Argo?! Anybody!”
People passing by looked at him quizzically and kept on walking. He looked around; all of the signs appeared to be in English. I’m on Earth? he wondered. How is that possible?
He could hear a man with a British-sounding accent approaching. “Jack? Tosh? Gwen? Owen! Anyone! Is anyone there?!” Crichton could see he was wearing an impeccable three-piece suit and repeatedly tapping a silver device on his ear.
Crichton looked down at his own comm and decided to give it a try. “Pilot? Aeryn?”
The two men stopped and stared at each other.
A young woman in greasy coveralls nearly ran them over. “Please, can you tell me where I am? I haven’t been at the bottle, I swear, I just showed up here, and I don’t know where I am!”
The man in the suit put his hands on her shoulders. “You’re in London, miss. What’s your name?”
“London? No, I mean to say, what planet? Ain’t none of this look familiar!”
“Um, you’re on Earth, miss. Are you supposed to be somewhere else?”
Crichton moved closer to them. London. Huh. Never been here before. But if she’s from another planet …
“I’m supposed to be on my ship!” she cried, nearing panic. “I was on Serenity, fixing up the engine, and then I was here!”
“My name is Ianto Jones. I can help you, miss. What’s your name?”
“Kaylee. Kaylee Frye.” Crichton watched as she stopped and looked at Ianto properly for the first time. He could practically see the stars in her eyes from where he was.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Crichton said politely. “But I think we might all be in the same boat. I was … somewhere else, and then I was here.”
“Me, too,” Ianto answered. “I was miles away, in Cardiff, and then I was here, and I can’t reach anyone on my team.”
“John Crichton,” he said, shaking hands with Ianto and then Kaylee. “Is there somewhere a bit more private we can go to talk?”
Ianto scanned the area and then took a small device from his pocket, consulting it. “There’s an old Torchwood safehouse just around the corner. Let’s head there.”
“Torchwood?” Kaylee asked.
“That’s the company I work for,” Ianto explained, as he guided her through the London crowd. “And we’re used to dealing with … unusual cases.”
~~~
Before long, Ianto had Crichton and Kaylee settled in a boarded up shop with mugs of tea.
“I apologize for the mess. Clearly, this place hasn’t been used in some time,” Ianto said, fiddling with his own tea.
“I work in an engine room; I don’t mind none,” Kaylee commented, sipping her tea.
Ianto left his on the counter and turned to face the two strangers. “All right. As I said, I work for Torchwood. We handle all alien encounters on behalf of the United Kingdom. May I inquire how you arrived here, and where you’re from?”
“Originally, I’m from Earth,” Crichton answered. “I was working on the Farscape project, and I got shot through a wormhole to another part of the universe. I’ve been living there for almost two years. And then, without even leaving my ship, I end up here.” He looked around thoughtfully. “Probably just another trick.”
“I assure you, Mr. Crichton, this is all very real. Now that you’re back, we’ll be able to find your family and get you home.”
“But I …” Crichton trailed off. He’d been trying to get home for so long, he never stopped to think what would happen when he actually did it. What about Aeryn and the others?
“And you, Miss Frye?”
She blushed. “Oh, please, call me Kaylee. I’m … not really sure what y’all are talking about … unless I’ve travelled back in time. Earth don’t exist no more where I’m from. I live out in the black on a ship called Serenity. Do you know how to get me home?”
“I’m not sure, Kaylee. If only I could reach someone -“ He paused, cocking his head to one side and tapping his earpiece. “Owen! Is that you?”
~~~
“Yes, it’s me, you bloomin’ teaboy!” Owen yelled into his earpiece. “I don’t know where you all ran off to, but I’ve got a serious security breach on my hands. Get back here now!”
“I don’t know how to tell you this, Owen, but I’m in London.”
“Quit joking around, Ianto. You were just here.”
“I know. I’m not sure what’s going on. What’s the Rift doing?”
“Nothing! That was the first thing I checked after I locked down the intruders!”
“Wait, what intruders?”
“These two blokes showed up out of nowhere! One alien, one human. I checked the security camera three times. They just appeared. Claim to have no idea what’s going on.”
“Owen, considering what happened to me, they might be telling the truth. And I ran into two people that came out of nowhere, too. Well, not nowhere, but … wait, what are the names of the intruders?”
“The alien creep that looks half-Weevil calls himself Scorpius. The human is a Dr. Simon Tam. And they apparently don’t know each other from Adam.”
“Okay, hold on.” He turned to John and Kaylee. “Do the names Scorpius or Simon Tam mean anything to you?”
Kaylee and John both leapt to their feet and started talking at the same time.
“Simon! You know where Simon is?! Can I talk to him?”
“I sure as hell know Scorpius, but I can’t guarantee he’s got nothing to do with this,” Crichton said at the same time.
Ianto paused. “Owen, they each know one of the intruders. Something very strange is going on.”
“Really? What was your first clue? Look, just get back here! We’ll sort it out.”
“Agreed.”
~~~
“Okay, everybody just calm down,” Gwen said, holding her gun out in front of her. The two men facing her held weapons of their own, and they looked fairly futuristic. “One thing at a time,” she continued. “Where are we?”
“Yer somewhere you ain’t supposed to be,” the man with the biggest gun answered. He looked around the luxurious room with differently colored curtains. “And I ain’t supposed to be here neither! I don’t even know how I got here, but I know you two definitely shouldn’t be, unless you’re clients.”
“I don’t know how I got here,” Gwen said evenly. “I was at my office, and then suddenly I was here with the two of you. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“Nor I,” said the other man. “So, since you, sir, at least know where we are, perhaps you could enlighten us?”
The man with the biggest gun hesitated.
“Look, I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Gwen said, still keeping an even tone. “So, what’s say we all put down our weapons and figure out how we all got here? Agreed?”
The men reluctantly nodded, and the three of them lowered their weapons.
“That’s better,” Gwen said. “My name is Gwen Cooper, and I’m from Torchwood.”
“Bialar Crais, former Peacekeeper,” the man to her left stated.
“Jayne Cobb. Excuse me,” he said, moving between Gwen and Crais and pushing aside a curtain.
“Oh my God!” Gwen cried. “We’re in outer space!”
The two men gave her an odd look.
“Ain’t you ever been in the black?” Jayne asked as he pushed some buttons on the console.
“May I ask what you’re doing?” Crais countered.
“Trying to see where we are and get a hold of anybody,” Jayne answered.
“Hello?” a female voice came over the speakers. “Who is in my shuttle?”
“Inara! Are you on Serenity? Where the hell are you?”
“Jayne?! What are you doing on my shuttle?”
“I didn’t touch nothing! I don’t know how I got here, or how the shuttle got separated from Serenity. Where’s the Captain?”
“That’s just the thing. I have no idea. The entire crew disappeared, and these two complete strangers showed up in the cargo hold. They don’t seem to have anything to do with what’s happened, though. Are you alone?”
“No … two strangers showed up here, too.” He turned to face them, hand on his gun. “Either of you have a notion as to what’s going on? Where’s the rest of our crew?”
“No idea,” Gwen answered, shaking her head.
“I had nothing to do with this,” Crais added. “I was on my ship Talyn, and then I was here.”
Jayne did not look entirely convinced but turned back to face the console.
“Inara, what’s your position? I can’t take much more of this gorram perfume.”
~~~
“Where the frell did you to come from!?” Rygel demanded, even as he had weapons pointed in his direction. “You don’t belong here! Either of you!”
“Where am I?” the woman demanded, looking around nervously. “How did you do that?”
“Normally, I would take the credit,” the man answered, keeping a pen-like device pointed at the woman. “But this wasn’t my doing. In fact, I’m not even quite sure where we are.” He grinned happily. “How delightful! A surprise!”
“Well, I don’t care how the frell either of you arrived!” Rygel shouted. “I am Dominar Rygel XVI, and you are intruders on my ship! I demand you leave, or I will send you out the airlock!”
The woman smirked. “And yet, you’re the one without a weapon, Dominar.”
“And he’s also a liar,” the man said, looking around more carefully. “This isn’t your ship.”
“I was on it first!”
The woman frowned slightly. “How do you know he’s lying?”
“The ship told me,” the man answered, nearly completely distracted by his surroundings. “He’s young … so, very, very young.”
“You can talk … to ships?” the woman queried.
The man looked at her. “Only the ones that talk back.”
“Okay, so this is startin’ to climb on my stuff-that-don’t-make-sense list. I’m in a room with a weirdo, a talking toad, and a talking ship.”
Rygel bristled. “I am not a toab, I’m a -”
“Hynerian,” the man supplied. “Obviously.”
“How did you -“
“Oh, do shut it,” the man said, firing his weapon directly at the woman’s gun, forcing her to drop it. He picked up the discarded gun and pocketed it. Once he was free to move around, he ran his hands over the console, fascinated.
“This is crude but unusual. A crossbred Leviathan.”
The woman folded her arms and leaned against the wall. “What is that supposed to mean?”
The man grinned. “It means it had weapons. And Leviathans aren’t supposed to have weapons. So, he’s young, confused, and dangerous.”
“He has a name,” Rygel interjected. “It’s Talyn. I think it’s high time you told us yours.”
“I’m the Master.”
“That’s not a name,” the woman pointed out. “That’s a title.”
The Master shrugged. “I chose it as my name.”
The woman moved closer to him. “I’m Saffron. So, if that thing is a Hyberian -“
“Hynerian!” Rygel cried.
“Whatever. And this - ship - we’re on is a Leviathan … what does that make you?”
He looked over his shoulder at her for a moment. “A Time Lord.”
Rygel roared with laughter. “Time Lord?! They’re just a myth.”
“In this part of the universe, that’s exactly what you would think,” the Master said, still absorbed in his study of Talyn.
Rygel sobered. “You can’t be serious.”
Saffron grinned, moving closer to him. “Sounds impressive.”
“And, in this part of the universe, anyone would easily mistake you for a Sebacean,” the Master announced, turning to face Saffron properly. “But you’re not. You’re human.”
“What?!” Rygel gasped. “Impossible!”
Saffron just giggled good-naturedly. “Guilty as charged, unless that’s a crime around these parts.”
“How did you two get here?” Rygel tried again.
“No idea,” the Master answered, turning back to the controls. “I shouldn’t even still exist and yet, here we are. A human, a Hynerian, and a Time Lord trapped in an armed Leviathan. Tell me, your Highness, why are you not sitting on a throne?”
Rygel squirmed. “I was … deposed.”
“I see,” the Master said, nodding. “And what you say if I told you that with this ship and my brain, I could fix that problem for you?”
“I would be most … intrigued.”
~~~
Wash and the young woman tried vainly to calm the man with the bizarre metal mask.
“Look, we need you to calm down,” Wash said, touching the man’s shoulder.
“Nononono! Can’t be here! Shouldn’t be here! Scorpius will find me! Put me in the chair!” the man cried, gesticulating wildly.
“Okay, look, we won’t let this Scorpius find you, all right? Just calm down and tell us where we are,” the blond woman said soothingly. When she touched his arm, he quieted and turned to face her.
“You’re … strange,” he murmured.
Wash bit his lip to keep from laughing.
“I’m Rose. What’s your name?”
“Stark.”
“Stark, can you tell us where we are?”
Stark looked between Wash and Rose. “… not Peacekeepers?”
“No, I’m human,” Rose answered calmly. “From Earth.”
Wash blinked. “Uh, I’m human, too … didn’t know that was in question.”
Rose looked up at him and smiled warmly. “You never know, Mr. ….?”
“Just call me Wash.” He looked at Stark. “Is he an … alien?”
“Not human. Only Crichton. All alone,” Stark muttered.
“Do you know where we are?” Wash asked, feeling more uneasy.
“Command Carrier. Peacekeepers. Scorpius could be here - shouldn’t stay!”
“Peacekeepers,” Wash attempted to scoff. “How bad can they be?”
“Humans … Peacekeepers will use you. Try to find Crichton. Take your blood. Take your brain!”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound fun,” Wash commented.
“Stark, do you know somewhere we can hide?” Rose asked.
The apparent alien nodded and led them through some hallways, passing a large launch bay. Wash nearly stopped in his tracks. The ships and shuttles were like nothing he had seen before. The designs were advanced and foreign. He started to worry he had somehow been taken by a new branch of the Alliance. And how can Rose be from Earth? It doesn’t exist anymore!
Stark led them to a small storage closet.
“Were those people Peacekeepers?” Rose asked.
“Yes, yes. Not good. Need to get back to Moya.”
“But they looked human!” Wash protested.
Rose smiled again. “So does he. Sort of.”
They were startled by a loud knock on the door.
~~~
At the same time in a parallel universe, three women were working together efficiently. Toshiko Sato was working with Zoe to contact her ship Serenity. Zoe has quickly gotten over her surprise at seeing an alien for the first time; after only a few minutes, she had given Pa’u Zotoh Zhaan her gun and instructed her to watch the door to the computer lab inside the high tech hospital Ariel.
It was the night shift, so the medical facility was a bit quieter than during the day.
“I think I’ve got something,” Toshiko announced, looking up at Zoe. “Try it now.” Zoe leaned over and pressed a button. “Serenity, this is Zoe. Baby, can you hear me?”
There was some crackling before a deep, male voice answered. “I ain’t your baby, Zoe, last I checked.”
“Jayne! Where’s Wash?”
“Damned if I know! One minute, I’m mindin’ my own business in my bunk, the next I’m in Inara’s shuttle with two strangers, and Serenity is twenty minutes away! When I got here, there was only Inara and two other strangers. One of them’s a weird alien … thing. Where the hell are you?”
“I don’t know how I got here, but I’m on Ariel. Can you come get us?”
“Us? Who else is there with you? The Cap’n?”
“No. Two other strangers,” she said as she exchanged a glance with Toshiko. “Something really weird is going on. We’re splitting up and turning up in threes. Anyway, come get us before they find the alien with us.”
“Male or female?”
“Jayne! Just come get us!”
“Got it. Serenity out.”
“He sounds … charming,” Toshiko commented.
“Any idea on what’s happening?” Zhaan asked from the doorway. “How did we get here?”
“It sounds like this is far too organized to be a random, natural phenomenon,” Toshiko stated. “Something very strange is going on. I shouldn’t even be here. This is a parallel universe. It’s impossible!”
“Perhaps when we pool our resources, we will be able to sort it out,” Zhaan suggested.
“Serenity doesn’t have advanced computers like this,” Zoe warned. “We’re just a transport ship.”
“Maybe some of the other ‘visitors’ will know what’s going on,” Toshiko said. “I looked at this system, and I can’t find anything unusual. No sudden increase in patients or reports of bizarre weather phenomena. I think whatever’s happening … it’s limited to us.”