New Dish: Racial Slur
Originally published at The Gentle News. You can comment here or there.
New Dish: Racial Slur
Originally uploaded by farrisgoldstein.
In 5 seconds flat I went from “Hmmm, nobody to feed but myself, what kind of junk should I scarf?” to “Alright, let’s do something REALLY stupid!”
The result, which you see above, was defrigginlicious. I guess the best, concise description I can give it is “pan-fried noodles with shrimp, avocado, and, uhhh… other shit.” I wanted to give it a name that would offend the various ethnicities that inspired the dish just as much as the ingredients are sure to do. However, “Spicslope n(CENSORED BY FUTURE FARRIS)r Pie” just doesn’t sound appetizing, so I settled on “Racial Slur.”
Without further ado, the recipe:
In a large skillet over medium heat, throw a few slashes of olive oil and a half-tablespoon of peanut butter (trut me on this), and another half-tablespoon (or more) of sesame oil and stir slowly until simmering. Add some garlic, minced. How much? I can’t answer that. I used a shitload, because I love it. Just before the garlic begins to brown, add some peeled shrimp. Just as the shrimp begin to turn pink add some fresh ground pepper, a tiny bit of kosher salt, and the juice of one lime wedge.
About this time, drop a package of ramen (i used chicken-flavor) in boiling water. Leave it in just long enough to blanch it and barely break it apart, then remove it, strain it, and add it to the other pan. Quickly toss to coat the noodles in oil. Add the ramen seasoning, another few grinds of pepper and a few pinches of ground chipotle.
Toss the noodle mass to one side of the pan and add a whole egg to the empty side. Scramble lightly, and scrape the pan gently until the egg is not quite cooked to medium. Turn off the heat.
Transfer everything to your plate. Sprinkle with cashews and crushed red pepper. Top with one avocado, cubed. Garnish with wedges of lime. Serve.
At this point, I tasted the dish and it was great, but after lightly salting the avocados and squeezing another wedge or two of lime on them, it was absolutely perfect. Like eating an orgasm.
I’d apologize for the heretical fusion of mismatched cuisines… If, you know… I gave a shit.