people worshipers
i was thinking today about how sad it is that people worship their peers. you know even the people that claim to not care what anyone thinks of them still somehow end up following around certain people with their tails wagging. of course i am thinking of someone in particular who does this, but we wont go there. the more i thought about it the more i realized that at one time in my life i actually "worshiped" some people too. of course they were guys. guys who were completely pathetic and undeserving of my attention. but i was young and didnt realize what an idiot i was until a few years later. im not sure if these thoughts have a point, but hey, its my journal, so ill write them anyway. the months i spent as a band aid were the most pathetic months of my life. but they are also the most memorable of my adolescence. strange. we listen so intently to our emotions and what we think we want and dont pay any attention to what we need and what would ultimately bring us that satisfaction that we craved all along. i wish i knew that back then. i wish i knew that what i was worshiping was a feeling i created and not a person or a smile or a kiss. well at least i figured it out and wont live the rest of my life in someone elses shadow.