I don't know who the fuck reads this anymore..
And I don't really care, in all honesty. It looks like three people are still kicking or some shit like that. Anyway, I've been feeling like ass, 'cause I've had to bury another friend. That makes three, the grand total. Now, this may not seem like alot, and to some people, granted, it isn't. But christ man, it doesn't get any fucking easier, does it?
I mean, I've been feeling like shit. I've been shit-faced the last seven days or so, and I've got to go back to work tommorow. "Life's got to return to normal. Well, sometimes I think it's too fucking soon, you know? Life's not ment to snap back into normalitly once your minds' been raped a couple of times.
I mean, it's fucking insane. I don't feel like Jayden. I don't feel happy and random and fucking insane. Now I just feel insane. You know, as if you've been beaten so many times your wounds go from bruises to cuts to broken bones, and then you've gotta heal from there.
Hell, this could be making sense, this could not be making sense. I've got no fucking clue. All I do know is that I really don't want to be here. I don't know where I want to be, but not here. I want to be able to stop caring and not giving a shit.
Maybe this time it's finally clicked in. Maybe now I can finally stop being human. Being human seems to be a weakness. You're kind, you care, and people shank you. Fuck that, I say. Maybe it's time to be cold, stoic, to not give a shit, to just keep to my self and let everyone deal with their pwn problems.
Man..
It's been a fucking fucked up week. A fucking truck man. I mean, I can certainly think of less sure-fire ways to make sure you're dead than standing in the middle of the road, that's for fucking sure.
Christ.
I mean, I've been feeling like shit. I've been shit-faced the last seven days or so, and I've got to go back to work tommorow. "Life's got to return to normal. Well, sometimes I think it's too fucking soon, you know? Life's not ment to snap back into normalitly once your minds' been raped a couple of times.
I mean, it's fucking insane. I don't feel like Jayden. I don't feel happy and random and fucking insane. Now I just feel insane. You know, as if you've been beaten so many times your wounds go from bruises to cuts to broken bones, and then you've gotta heal from there.
Hell, this could be making sense, this could not be making sense. I've got no fucking clue. All I do know is that I really don't want to be here. I don't know where I want to be, but not here. I want to be able to stop caring and not giving a shit.
Maybe this time it's finally clicked in. Maybe now I can finally stop being human. Being human seems to be a weakness. You're kind, you care, and people shank you. Fuck that, I say. Maybe it's time to be cold, stoic, to not give a shit, to just keep to my self and let everyone deal with their pwn problems.
Man..
It's been a fucking fucked up week. A fucking truck man. I mean, I can certainly think of less sure-fire ways to make sure you're dead than standing in the middle of the road, that's for fucking sure.
Christ.