Emotional Extreme of the Day; Viscious Anger

[farfromheaven7]

So one person got a huge hit of my mood today...my mom...who unfortunately is having mood swings at a similar intensity because of her age. The fight ended with me swearing profusely while she told me to move out. We made up, and I cried a lot and became very depressed and moody and just couldn't shake it. So obviously when I was let down it was much worse than it would have been otherwise. Well let's just say that this non-communication is probably for the better because my mind is full of scathing insults and anger. I've kept a lot to myself but i swear if im pushed i may go over the edge and say things i'll never be able to take back. Well...considering the last month or so, you'd think things like that wouldn't happen but thats just how important i am. I know now...I'm even more angry for actually caring and thinking that a friendship was possible. Fucking right...to have a friendship you have to have something called trust...oh...where did that go...its gone, along with any shred of relationship you thought you had a fucking chance at.

I have been disappointed way too many times, all at the wrong times. I'm DONE. Find someone else who cares because I have a lot of other things to worry about like morphine withdrawal...and my fucking health and quality of fucking life. Remember that thing? fucking get one...

Hit the ground,
Weighed down again
You walked out
But I'm sure you're my friend

It must have been good
This can't be for good
Everyone's ...
Is everything ok

I waited
But I must be too dumb to be proud
Because I waited, I waited

Woke to sounds
I prayed you were there
I fell back down
But I'm sure you still care...

**This is me in the midst of an angry extreme, though I doubt I'll change my mind I'm sure I won't speak of it like this....