how am i supposed to live?
Fuck, this past weekend was... extreme.
We had a party Friday night, which promised to be amazing, but alas, never get your hopes up too high- because they more than likely will get shattered. First, we had to kick out some douche-bag looking kid with a small head. (Not because he had a ridiculously in-proportionate sized head, although I would have found just-cause in that, too.) He was trying to start a fight or something, so Jon literally dragged him out of our house. Then, some bitch who's known as "Smashley" (Jesus!) that nobody on the earth should like (I honestly can't find a reason to validate otherwise) was being her normal drunk-self, so we decided to kick her ass out-again, literally, and her boyfriend got all pissed and kicked a huge hole in our front door. A bunch of people were hitting and kicking him and stuff after this happened. I was preoccupied, but all of a sudden I see our door and my adrenaline kicks in and I run outside after this kid and start hitting him and screaming, "You broke my mother-fucking door!" over and over again. Which makes me feel super badass and stuff, but I wasn't wearing any god-damn shoes. So now I have mild frostbite and it's like this amazingly hard journey for me to even walk to the bathroom. But, we're getting ahead of ourselves here, so back to the party... Went back inside, cops came, Jon dealt with them and they left. Had fun for a while, then got in this super sad stupid mood (alliteration, much?). So, felt sorry for myself for a while, then went to bed with Jimmy around 3. Jimmy John's that is. Haha, god, I'm funny. Woke up around 5 am, because there was this whole shit-load of drama with Angel and Jon and then Jon and Natalia. I yelled a bunch, slammed a few doors, tried to kick Jon out, hated life, etc, etc. Couldn't sleep after that, because I was so worried about my feet. Had about an hour long heart-to-heart with Jon. He went to bed and I was left to feel really helpless and alone and fucking sad. All I wanted was someone to hold me and tell me everything was all right. I just wanted to leave my house, leave everything. Waited until 7 to call my mom and she confirmed my thoughts that I'd better see a doctor re: my feet. I didn't want to take a bus and I didn't know who to turn to, because it was so early in the morning. Texted Zak and he was totally down for it; he quick showered and drove over. I can't even explain the gratitude I felt for having him there for me. Found out about the frostbite thing, came back to my place and laid in my bed and watched Curb with him. It was so wonderful- that's all I wanted was someone to hold me and make me feel better. And he did. And it was completely plutonic and understood as such. No kissing, no making out, just his arm around me and his kind words. My medicine. He drove me to work and I tried to walk as little as possible, but the printers went down and I was in charge of attempting to fix them, so it involved walking a lot more than I had anticipated.
Natalia and her cousin got everything taken care of (i.e. the door/toilet which was also broken) which is absolutely amazing and responsible and I'm grateful for that.
How am I feeling today? To be honest, I'm not sure. Wait and see, that's all I can do.
We had a party Friday night, which promised to be amazing, but alas, never get your hopes up too high- because they more than likely will get shattered. First, we had to kick out some douche-bag looking kid with a small head. (Not because he had a ridiculously in-proportionate sized head, although I would have found just-cause in that, too.) He was trying to start a fight or something, so Jon literally dragged him out of our house. Then, some bitch who's known as "Smashley" (Jesus!) that nobody on the earth should like (I honestly can't find a reason to validate otherwise) was being her normal drunk-self, so we decided to kick her ass out-again, literally, and her boyfriend got all pissed and kicked a huge hole in our front door. A bunch of people were hitting and kicking him and stuff after this happened. I was preoccupied, but all of a sudden I see our door and my adrenaline kicks in and I run outside after this kid and start hitting him and screaming, "You broke my mother-fucking door!" over and over again. Which makes me feel super badass and stuff, but I wasn't wearing any god-damn shoes. So now I have mild frostbite and it's like this amazingly hard journey for me to even walk to the bathroom. But, we're getting ahead of ourselves here, so back to the party... Went back inside, cops came, Jon dealt with them and they left. Had fun for a while, then got in this super sad stupid mood (alliteration, much?). So, felt sorry for myself for a while, then went to bed with Jimmy around 3. Jimmy John's that is. Haha, god, I'm funny. Woke up around 5 am, because there was this whole shit-load of drama with Angel and Jon and then Jon and Natalia. I yelled a bunch, slammed a few doors, tried to kick Jon out, hated life, etc, etc. Couldn't sleep after that, because I was so worried about my feet. Had about an hour long heart-to-heart with Jon. He went to bed and I was left to feel really helpless and alone and fucking sad. All I wanted was someone to hold me and tell me everything was all right. I just wanted to leave my house, leave everything. Waited until 7 to call my mom and she confirmed my thoughts that I'd better see a doctor re: my feet. I didn't want to take a bus and I didn't know who to turn to, because it was so early in the morning. Texted Zak and he was totally down for it; he quick showered and drove over. I can't even explain the gratitude I felt for having him there for me. Found out about the frostbite thing, came back to my place and laid in my bed and watched Curb with him. It was so wonderful- that's all I wanted was someone to hold me and make me feel better. And he did. And it was completely plutonic and understood as such. No kissing, no making out, just his arm around me and his kind words. My medicine. He drove me to work and I tried to walk as little as possible, but the printers went down and I was in charge of attempting to fix them, so it involved walking a lot more than I had anticipated.
Natalia and her cousin got everything taken care of (i.e. the door/toilet which was also broken) which is absolutely amazing and responsible and I'm grateful for that.
How am I feeling today? To be honest, I'm not sure. Wait and see, that's all I can do.