This one's for Jon.
Talking to Malus is great. I was out shopping with my mom at Wal-Mart and this is what the ensuing conversation degenerated into.
Rated... probably R. I warned you.
(I'm not sick. Really. I can just talk about anything without it freaking me out. Except IV's. Eww.)
Uglyfred22: KABOOM
Vendragone: o.o er, hi...
Uglyfred22: BOOM
Vendragone: yeah...
Uglyfred22: hehehehe
Uglyfred22: what up yo? yo yo yo!!!111oen
Vendragone: not much. same crap as always... you seem
rather cheerful today
Uglyfred22: i got up early!!!!!!!
Uglyfred22: but only becaus ihad to do stuff ;_;
Vendragone: ah... congrats, and sorry o.O
Uglyfred22: eye appointment and shopping 100 places
with mom
Vendragone: *nods* oh
Uglyfred22: man
Uglyfred22: she shops liek a woman
Uglyfred22: so indecisive
Vendragone: well...
Uglyfred22: doesnt even know what she wants
Uglyfred22: i shop like a man
Vendragone: seeing that she's, you know, a she...
Uglyfred22: get it get out BAM
Vendragone: hehe
Vendragone: I like your style :o
Uglyfred22: I like it too :O
Uglyfred22: oh, and then so im in the medicine aisle
Uglyfred22: I see this huge bright green poster
Vendragone: mmhmm
Uglyfred22: VAGINAL CLEANSING FILM
Vendragone: uh oh.
Uglyfred22: "You'll never have to douche or spray
again!"
Vendragone: ...
Uglyfred22: i would have laughed hysterically
Uglyfred22: but there were people
Vendragone: well, that's obviously good. :o
Uglyfred22: i was like, "I wish Dart was here"
Uglyfred22: XD
Vendragone: =p
Vendragone: Interesting, nonetheless =o
Vendragone: I've certainly never heard about this new,
amazing vaginal cleansing film. :O
Uglyfred22: 'Stick it in your pocket or purse!"
Uglyfred22: Oh baby, you know it's going in MY
pocket...
Vendragone: hahah
Uglyfred22: Haha i stood right next to it
Vendragone: =p you're crazy at times..
Uglyfred22: im like "I wonder if anyone will take one
while I'm standing right here..."
Vendragone: hehe
Vendragone: and no one did, I assume? :o
Uglyfred22: No ;_;
Vendragone: aw...
Vendragone: ...I'd have bought one if you were helping try
to sell them. And I don't even have a vagina.
Uglyfred22: lol!!!
Uglyfred22: I can imagine myself in this pink apron
with a uterus on it
Uglyfred22: with a little ovary visor
Vendragone: hehe
Uglyfred22: saying" Hi, would YOU like to buy some
VAGINAL CLEANSING FILM?"
Vendragone: hah
Uglyfred22: and then say it to men
Uglyfred22: really loud
Uglyfred22: as they pass
Uglyfred22: or to women be like, "I KNOW YOUR
VAGINA IS DIRTY!"
Vendragone: "Is your cooter stinky? Then try this! *shoves
box of cleansing film at person's face*"
Vendragone: or, well, dirty. :D
Uglyfred22: XD
Vendragone: I'd get the crap beat out of me if I did that XD
Uglyfred22: see, I'm a chick, I can get away with it
Vendragone: yeah
Uglyfred22: maybe I'll have dominant pheromones too
so I can mess up their cycles
Vendragone: you can get away with a lot more than a guy
could, i guess. o.O
Uglyfred22: hehehehe
Vendragone: Unless I went... in disguise!
Uglyfred22: omg
Uglyfred22: you can dress up as a woman
Uglyfred22: and be my assistant!!!
Vendragone: yay
Vendragone: I'll be your assistant anyday ;P
Uglyfred22: bwahahaha
Uglyfred22: Our motto is, Raping Wal-Mart since 2003
Vendragone: :-P
Vendragone: should we have a little mascot? A little walking,
talking... hm. uterus? nah...
Uglyfred22: Well like, the ovaries, filopian tubes, and
uterus
Uglyfred22: they're a set ya know
Vendragone: mmhmm
Uglyfred22: Every tiem you buy VAGINAL CLEANSING
FILM you get a plastic piece of the female reproductive
system
Uglyfred22: buy more! COLLECT THEM
ALL!!!11111oneoneoeennn
Vendragone: hehe
Vendragone: =P
Uglyfred22: Out little table will have plastic female
legs as well... table legs
Uglyfred22: *our'
Vendragone: *nods*
Vendragone: =P
Vendragone: that would work... :o should we give out free
samples?
Uglyfred22: hmm
Uglyfred22: Lol, "appetizers"
Vendragone: hehe :P
Uglyfred22: Omg this has to go in my LJ
Vendragone: like "here ma'am, try it! Oh, don't worry, a
little public nudity isn't gonna hurt anyone."
Vendragone: hmm
Vendragone: I actually made it into someone's journal...
amazing.
Uglyfred22: "We'll do a little demonstration to show
how to use them... here's my assistant, Mal.. ory.
Malory, find an audience volunteer for us...."
Vendragone: hehe :P
Uglyfred22: bwahaha. This will be the best ever.
Vendragone: then we can watch as the entire store empies
Vendragone: then we have to run before the cops get here
:-(
Uglyfred22: Don't worry. We have the uterus mobile
Uglyfred22: aka a Shaggin Wagon
Vendragone: haha
Vendragone: I like that name
Uglyfred22: I din't make it up hehehe
Uglyfred22: but yes, it's hot
Rated... probably R. I warned you.
(I'm not sick. Really. I can just talk about anything without it freaking me out. Except IV's. Eww.)
Uglyfred22: KABOOM
Vendragone: o.o er, hi...
Uglyfred22: BOOM
Vendragone: yeah...
Uglyfred22: hehehehe
Uglyfred22: what up yo? yo yo yo!!!111oen
Vendragone: not much. same crap as always... you seem
rather cheerful today
Uglyfred22: i got up early!!!!!!!
Uglyfred22: but only becaus ihad to do stuff ;_;
Vendragone: ah... congrats, and sorry o.O
Uglyfred22: eye appointment and shopping 100 places
with mom
Vendragone: *nods* oh
Uglyfred22: man
Uglyfred22: she shops liek a woman
Uglyfred22: so indecisive
Vendragone: well...
Uglyfred22: doesnt even know what she wants
Uglyfred22: i shop like a man
Vendragone: seeing that she's, you know, a she...
Uglyfred22: get it get out BAM
Vendragone: hehe
Vendragone: I like your style :o
Uglyfred22: I like it too :O
Uglyfred22: oh, and then so im in the medicine aisle
Uglyfred22: I see this huge bright green poster
Vendragone: mmhmm
Uglyfred22: VAGINAL CLEANSING FILM
Vendragone: uh oh.
Uglyfred22: "You'll never have to douche or spray
again!"
Vendragone: ...
Uglyfred22: i would have laughed hysterically
Uglyfred22: but there were people
Vendragone: well, that's obviously good. :o
Uglyfred22: i was like, "I wish Dart was here"
Uglyfred22: XD
Vendragone: =p
Vendragone: Interesting, nonetheless =o
Vendragone: I've certainly never heard about this new,
amazing vaginal cleansing film. :O
Uglyfred22: 'Stick it in your pocket or purse!"
Uglyfred22: Oh baby, you know it's going in MY
pocket...
Vendragone: hahah
Uglyfred22: Haha i stood right next to it
Vendragone: =p you're crazy at times..
Uglyfred22: im like "I wonder if anyone will take one
while I'm standing right here..."
Vendragone: hehe
Vendragone: and no one did, I assume? :o
Uglyfred22: No ;_;
Vendragone: aw...
Vendragone: ...I'd have bought one if you were helping try
to sell them. And I don't even have a vagina.
Uglyfred22: lol!!!
Uglyfred22: I can imagine myself in this pink apron
with a uterus on it
Uglyfred22: with a little ovary visor
Vendragone: hehe
Uglyfred22: saying" Hi, would YOU like to buy some
VAGINAL CLEANSING FILM?"
Vendragone: hah
Uglyfred22: and then say it to men
Uglyfred22: really loud
Uglyfred22: as they pass
Uglyfred22: or to women be like, "I KNOW YOUR
VAGINA IS DIRTY!"
Vendragone: "Is your cooter stinky? Then try this! *shoves
box of cleansing film at person's face*"
Vendragone: or, well, dirty. :D
Uglyfred22: XD
Vendragone: I'd get the crap beat out of me if I did that XD
Uglyfred22: see, I'm a chick, I can get away with it
Vendragone: yeah
Uglyfred22: maybe I'll have dominant pheromones too
so I can mess up their cycles
Vendragone: you can get away with a lot more than a guy
could, i guess. o.O
Uglyfred22: hehehehe
Vendragone: Unless I went... in disguise!
Uglyfred22: omg
Uglyfred22: you can dress up as a woman
Uglyfred22: and be my assistant!!!
Vendragone: yay
Vendragone: I'll be your assistant anyday ;P
Uglyfred22: bwahahaha
Uglyfred22: Our motto is, Raping Wal-Mart since 2003
Vendragone: :-P
Vendragone: should we have a little mascot? A little walking,
talking... hm. uterus? nah...
Uglyfred22: Well like, the ovaries, filopian tubes, and
uterus
Uglyfred22: they're a set ya know
Vendragone: mmhmm
Uglyfred22: Every tiem you buy VAGINAL CLEANSING
FILM you get a plastic piece of the female reproductive
system
Uglyfred22: buy more! COLLECT THEM
ALL!!!11111oneoneoeennn
Vendragone: hehe
Vendragone: =P
Uglyfred22: Out little table will have plastic female
legs as well... table legs
Uglyfred22: *our'
Vendragone: *nods*
Vendragone: =P
Vendragone: that would work... :o should we give out free
samples?
Uglyfred22: hmm
Uglyfred22: Lol, "appetizers"
Vendragone: hehe :P
Uglyfred22: Omg this has to go in my LJ
Vendragone: like "here ma'am, try it! Oh, don't worry, a
little public nudity isn't gonna hurt anyone."
Vendragone: hmm
Vendragone: I actually made it into someone's journal...
amazing.
Uglyfred22: "We'll do a little demonstration to show
how to use them... here's my assistant, Mal.. ory.
Malory, find an audience volunteer for us...."
Vendragone: hehe :P
Uglyfred22: bwahaha. This will be the best ever.
Vendragone: then we can watch as the entire store empies
Vendragone: then we have to run before the cops get here
:-(
Uglyfred22: Don't worry. We have the uterus mobile
Uglyfred22: aka a Shaggin Wagon
Vendragone: haha
Vendragone: I like that name
Uglyfred22: I din't make it up hehehe
Uglyfred22: but yes, it's hot