just a drama story to get off my mind.
this weekend was kind of like a dream. i didnt wake up until i was driving back from the airport this evening when i dropped Naz off and realized that i was leaving early tomorrow morning and had yet to start packing. it only took about an hour and a half after my last extreme makeover home edition, but i am just feeling really down and out and totally emotional. im tired of saying goodbye and having to be away from people so close to my heart for so long...so matter i am. i actually was teary talking to each person tonight for long periods of time, even though we had a blast this weekend.
when Naz arrived Emily and Amber met us at my place and we went to the new Cinebarre where we had dinner while watching a movie! it was like whoo! hehe but after than we chilled in my basement playing a plethora of games and letting the wine flow. Saturday...i just wanted to crawl up into a ball and hide away, for the day was just not in my favor :) i attempted to make breakfast...and it took about 3 hours for pancakes and bad bacon :) ...i think i need sarah to teach me a little more on the pankcake breakfast end. my family and i took naz to play disc golf, for it was the most gorgeous day, introduced him to chipotle and enjoyed sharing pictures and music until we headed out to boulder to see amber's friend belly dance at an indian resturant! it was quite exciting...and we didnt even know it was indian till we got there, so it was wonderful to try all the indian foods again...something i actually liked about india, for it was delicious! after the dancer and dinner we went to brandon's for a bondfire party...which was quite lame when we arrive with a whole lotta wasted guys...but we got it hoppin and emily and naz met brandon. we all danced and mangaged to keep the fire going while everyone else got ridiculous...but i had a really good time, and naz enjoyed making sweet little moves. oh my goodenss it is so hard to look into his eyes when he looks back at mine and have to distract myself to prevent any further engagement. i dont know why im holding back. well i do...same story different day...but i dont. whatever hehe we enjoyed our sunday sleeping in...for we didnt get home til about 3 and it was early to go to center. it was a lazy day with a cloudy morning so we hung out watching football and then i showed him super target and we toured the new Lifetime Fitness center at the orchard...which is gigantic and just awesomeness!! we played basketball and had fun checkin it out...my favorite part other than its massiveness was the climbing walls and the blow dryer at every sink hehe! it was really hard to say goodbye and it took a long time with a lot of emotions at the airport that totally put me into a funk. but his flight was delayed and then deboarded to be fixed, so he called about 10 and we chatted it up a bit, which was nice, for i am so ready to go back...and at the same time, just dont want to leave.
on another dramatic note, but just repeated thougghts i need to get out of head...amber has decided to meddle with my "love life" and i have become really disapointed in her for she just needs to think more! last night in front of emily and naz in the truck she accused me of being "livid and pissed" when i saw her and brandon in the house of from the garage...brandon having quite the hip injury (from messing with the skateboard while drunk)...and i just didnt know what to say! for she started the conversation with "so when you and brandon going to hook up!" and when i stated i didnt want to talk about it, she claimed she wasnt going to stop...which led to the garage lashing comment, when all i could remember was thinking dear lord what happened to brandon and then made a comment in perfect time about them coming out alone together with brandon in such condition for a good laugh. i would never have thought such thoughts she put in my head and she wouldnt even let me explain and it kind of hurt. i come to find out while talking with brandon on the phone while packing for an hour that she had been haggling him all night asking when him and i were going to hook up...after which i requested that she say nothing! for i wanted anything beyond our friendsihp to just come naturally and in good time....for now is not the time for either of us AND i dont want things to get awkward in the sense that he would think amber had been talking to me about such (which is true) but all the reason to request her silence. i know that she may be in my good interest...i but i am just having a really hard time trusting her these days for i hear about things that she has said and done with brandon through brandon or my sister....which she denies when i ask. i really dont know care what goes on between them other than their good interest for they would be terrible for one another, but i would just appreciate the honesty. i suppose i should be discussing it with her rather than to everyone else, which i hate doing anyways, but i am at my final night for phone and person conversation and i recieved a text today to say that her parents are finally getting a divorce so she wont be coming to swtizerland since she has to find a place to live. but i did politely request that she not talk to anyone including brandon about us anymore.
i really enjoyed talking to sarah and jacci this evening though after such drama. its funny how caught up i get in it here coming from those who live here, for i need to learn to be centered and stong as i feel in swtizerland with sarah and jacci. just talking to them online gave this sense of ease and comfort in my created created chaos. new years resolution!
i can't help it though....its the colorado sunset on the mountains that i cannot depart with.
when Naz arrived Emily and Amber met us at my place and we went to the new Cinebarre where we had dinner while watching a movie! it was like whoo! hehe but after than we chilled in my basement playing a plethora of games and letting the wine flow. Saturday...i just wanted to crawl up into a ball and hide away, for the day was just not in my favor :) i attempted to make breakfast...and it took about 3 hours for pancakes and bad bacon :) ...i think i need sarah to teach me a little more on the pankcake breakfast end. my family and i took naz to play disc golf, for it was the most gorgeous day, introduced him to chipotle and enjoyed sharing pictures and music until we headed out to boulder to see amber's friend belly dance at an indian resturant! it was quite exciting...and we didnt even know it was indian till we got there, so it was wonderful to try all the indian foods again...something i actually liked about india, for it was delicious! after the dancer and dinner we went to brandon's for a bondfire party...which was quite lame when we arrive with a whole lotta wasted guys...but we got it hoppin and emily and naz met brandon. we all danced and mangaged to keep the fire going while everyone else got ridiculous...but i had a really good time, and naz enjoyed making sweet little moves. oh my goodenss it is so hard to look into his eyes when he looks back at mine and have to distract myself to prevent any further engagement. i dont know why im holding back. well i do...same story different day...but i dont. whatever hehe we enjoyed our sunday sleeping in...for we didnt get home til about 3 and it was early to go to center. it was a lazy day with a cloudy morning so we hung out watching football and then i showed him super target and we toured the new Lifetime Fitness center at the orchard...which is gigantic and just awesomeness!! we played basketball and had fun checkin it out...my favorite part other than its massiveness was the climbing walls and the blow dryer at every sink hehe! it was really hard to say goodbye and it took a long time with a lot of emotions at the airport that totally put me into a funk. but his flight was delayed and then deboarded to be fixed, so he called about 10 and we chatted it up a bit, which was nice, for i am so ready to go back...and at the same time, just dont want to leave.
on another dramatic note, but just repeated thougghts i need to get out of head...amber has decided to meddle with my "love life" and i have become really disapointed in her for she just needs to think more! last night in front of emily and naz in the truck she accused me of being "livid and pissed" when i saw her and brandon in the house of from the garage...brandon having quite the hip injury (from messing with the skateboard while drunk)...and i just didnt know what to say! for she started the conversation with "so when you and brandon going to hook up!" and when i stated i didnt want to talk about it, she claimed she wasnt going to stop...which led to the garage lashing comment, when all i could remember was thinking dear lord what happened to brandon and then made a comment in perfect time about them coming out alone together with brandon in such condition for a good laugh. i would never have thought such thoughts she put in my head and she wouldnt even let me explain and it kind of hurt. i come to find out while talking with brandon on the phone while packing for an hour that she had been haggling him all night asking when him and i were going to hook up...after which i requested that she say nothing! for i wanted anything beyond our friendsihp to just come naturally and in good time....for now is not the time for either of us AND i dont want things to get awkward in the sense that he would think amber had been talking to me about such (which is true) but all the reason to request her silence. i know that she may be in my good interest...i but i am just having a really hard time trusting her these days for i hear about things that she has said and done with brandon through brandon or my sister....which she denies when i ask. i really dont know care what goes on between them other than their good interest for they would be terrible for one another, but i would just appreciate the honesty. i suppose i should be discussing it with her rather than to everyone else, which i hate doing anyways, but i am at my final night for phone and person conversation and i recieved a text today to say that her parents are finally getting a divorce so she wont be coming to swtizerland since she has to find a place to live. but i did politely request that she not talk to anyone including brandon about us anymore.
i really enjoyed talking to sarah and jacci this evening though after such drama. its funny how caught up i get in it here coming from those who live here, for i need to learn to be centered and stong as i feel in swtizerland with sarah and jacci. just talking to them online gave this sense of ease and comfort in my created created chaos. new years resolution!
i can't help it though....its the colorado sunset on the mountains that i cannot depart with.