growing with spirit
so after stating my realization and realizing how pitiful they can be, i am just so thankful for the life i have created for myself. its true i let my emotions run on livejournal and lot of the time they tend to be what is bothering me, but live journal is the best thing for me in that way, for i can let my thoughts run, reflect on them, even as i type and then grow.
i am thankful for how much i have personally grown this year. it truely have been rejuvenating and its amazing all the changed i can see in my life just by recognizing how i myself have changed. it has all been for the better, and i am utmost thankful to the network friends who have helped me achieve such a state of blooming. Everyone from TSS, my Franklin Family, my colorado rockies (as i like to call all colorado friends that have been there, some for 16 years, and who will always be)and my family and spiritual center. I cannot be more blessed with beautiful spirits and thankful for all they have done to help me grow.
I feel so much more chill. Sometimes to the point of boredom, but i like to recognize it as having gotten to such a point that i can discover in what more ways i would like to challenge myself and grow. i can be in situations and find the good in them or allow myself to just go with the flow and approach most everything with ease. (its when i let my thoughts run wild, i noticed, that drama filters into my life...which in turn really makes sense, being as though i am not in control of the thoughts i am putting out there! hehe)
i have grown to love myself. it has been the most magnificent realization that i have come into being. i have wanted to for so long and have always wondered how. i think that TSS gave me enough time to experiment and then realized the outcome of my experiments to the point of allowing me to grow from them. but it hasnt stopped there, for returning to switzerland and then home, and still holding that truth as my authentic self in all these different places and situations have been a challenge, but the outcome...wonderous. there are still parts that i am working on, but i am constantly reaffirming to myself that i still can because i am working on such issues! i have attracted the most magnificent people in my life, as well as the love and friendship to accompany such beautiful relationships. i have even managed to open my heart to the possiblility of truely meeting the love of my life. i know its possible, i just cant wait to recognize who it really is! for i know they are out there, for i have already attracted people into my life who encompass things i have always dreamed of, as well at that which i thought i wanted, but have discovered how much i have changed. such a wonderful feeling! and sometimes so hard to let go...but i also know that by letting go, i am making room for something even greater, and that one thing is what i have always wanted in my life. i am also thankful for knowing that such people really exist out there from experience.
i love watching john and kate plus eight, because i love learning from their stellar relationship with each other. how they handle situations and what they do for their family. such an inspiration.
--
getting back in touch with brandon has really made a differece as well. i think we have both grown and matured in our own adventures these past couple years and i like being able to recognize that in him as well as me. he was my person going through high school and when i left we learned how to connect with other spirits, but always maintain that friendship and understanding and invisibile indescribable bond. sure i have that with others in my past that i am so gracious for, but right now this has been a more life changing one, for brandon is one person who knows the me that i became after i moved from junction and still accepts that me that i have become after franklin, and still loves the me that i have become today and even on my worst days. its pretty cool. but the part that has been so impactful to me is that he has taught me to be so chill haha! as among other people of course, i have always tried to impress, but looking back, he never really cared, and he still doesnt today, and is just an easy going personm. i always admired the simplicity for i tend to make my life complex. but his unconditional love is something i have aquired and admire and only hope i can share with other people for them to understand what it feels like.
its amazing how much we can learn from our friends as reflection of not just what is said but how we live. amber is going to school to be a shamanic healer, which in i a way is like a practitioner at my spiritual center mixed in with psychology. she has just returned from her wilderness retreat with them and tends to be creating, in my opionion, a hard world to return to, for thats how they say its going to be. i think she may be taking things literally, but everyone learns differently. however, its makes me question or reflect on my personal aspirations to be a minister. i am going for the education and experience that comes with that, so i might take that into the world and make a difference, even it comes down to just teaching people how to love unconditionally by doing so myself. but the process of getting the official degree can take up to 10 years, which can be so long. amber is the youngest in her class and plans to teach and heal professionally within the next few years. this may be judgemental, but to me that just seems weak. i have grown up with my spiritual philosophy, experienced the wonders of its work, and still plan to go through 10 years of experience and education, but i think its kind of cool that i may never reach that point of knowing it all, for i just love hearing or experiecing the stories of success and "failure," for it creates even greater opportunities for learning. to look forward to so many more years of practicing and experiencing (redundant, i know).
i want to teach and grow just by living my life. its like the coolest concept ever. and i am thankful to be surrounded by those who teach me just by being themselves and living their life, in every part of my life.
i am thankful for how much i have personally grown this year. it truely have been rejuvenating and its amazing all the changed i can see in my life just by recognizing how i myself have changed. it has all been for the better, and i am utmost thankful to the network friends who have helped me achieve such a state of blooming. Everyone from TSS, my Franklin Family, my colorado rockies (as i like to call all colorado friends that have been there, some for 16 years, and who will always be)and my family and spiritual center. I cannot be more blessed with beautiful spirits and thankful for all they have done to help me grow.
I feel so much more chill. Sometimes to the point of boredom, but i like to recognize it as having gotten to such a point that i can discover in what more ways i would like to challenge myself and grow. i can be in situations and find the good in them or allow myself to just go with the flow and approach most everything with ease. (its when i let my thoughts run wild, i noticed, that drama filters into my life...which in turn really makes sense, being as though i am not in control of the thoughts i am putting out there! hehe)
i have grown to love myself. it has been the most magnificent realization that i have come into being. i have wanted to for so long and have always wondered how. i think that TSS gave me enough time to experiment and then realized the outcome of my experiments to the point of allowing me to grow from them. but it hasnt stopped there, for returning to switzerland and then home, and still holding that truth as my authentic self in all these different places and situations have been a challenge, but the outcome...wonderous. there are still parts that i am working on, but i am constantly reaffirming to myself that i still can because i am working on such issues! i have attracted the most magnificent people in my life, as well as the love and friendship to accompany such beautiful relationships. i have even managed to open my heart to the possiblility of truely meeting the love of my life. i know its possible, i just cant wait to recognize who it really is! for i know they are out there, for i have already attracted people into my life who encompass things i have always dreamed of, as well at that which i thought i wanted, but have discovered how much i have changed. such a wonderful feeling! and sometimes so hard to let go...but i also know that by letting go, i am making room for something even greater, and that one thing is what i have always wanted in my life. i am also thankful for knowing that such people really exist out there from experience.
i love watching john and kate plus eight, because i love learning from their stellar relationship with each other. how they handle situations and what they do for their family. such an inspiration.
--
getting back in touch with brandon has really made a differece as well. i think we have both grown and matured in our own adventures these past couple years and i like being able to recognize that in him as well as me. he was my person going through high school and when i left we learned how to connect with other spirits, but always maintain that friendship and understanding and invisibile indescribable bond. sure i have that with others in my past that i am so gracious for, but right now this has been a more life changing one, for brandon is one person who knows the me that i became after i moved from junction and still accepts that me that i have become after franklin, and still loves the me that i have become today and even on my worst days. its pretty cool. but the part that has been so impactful to me is that he has taught me to be so chill haha! as among other people of course, i have always tried to impress, but looking back, he never really cared, and he still doesnt today, and is just an easy going personm. i always admired the simplicity for i tend to make my life complex. but his unconditional love is something i have aquired and admire and only hope i can share with other people for them to understand what it feels like.
its amazing how much we can learn from our friends as reflection of not just what is said but how we live. amber is going to school to be a shamanic healer, which in i a way is like a practitioner at my spiritual center mixed in with psychology. she has just returned from her wilderness retreat with them and tends to be creating, in my opionion, a hard world to return to, for thats how they say its going to be. i think she may be taking things literally, but everyone learns differently. however, its makes me question or reflect on my personal aspirations to be a minister. i am going for the education and experience that comes with that, so i might take that into the world and make a difference, even it comes down to just teaching people how to love unconditionally by doing so myself. but the process of getting the official degree can take up to 10 years, which can be so long. amber is the youngest in her class and plans to teach and heal professionally within the next few years. this may be judgemental, but to me that just seems weak. i have grown up with my spiritual philosophy, experienced the wonders of its work, and still plan to go through 10 years of experience and education, but i think its kind of cool that i may never reach that point of knowing it all, for i just love hearing or experiecing the stories of success and "failure," for it creates even greater opportunities for learning. to look forward to so many more years of practicing and experiencing (redundant, i know).
i want to teach and grow just by living my life. its like the coolest concept ever. and i am thankful to be surrounded by those who teach me just by being themselves and living their life, in every part of my life.