(no subject)
I'm having self esteem issues that I believe stem from many unanswered questions. I feel like dirt. I am dirt. So bring me tomorrow, and again I will regret waking my dreams. Again I will pass through the sunlight feeling dry. Again I will wonder what is real.
Yesterday, I was smoking a cigarette and a girl asked me "Are you trying to kill yourself, or is it just a hobby?" Good question, although I honestly don't know anymore. Ironically, about an hour later, I found out that a girl I had a crush on when I was 16 killed herself. I'm so unsure of how to feel about that, my only real reaction has been a dull pain in my stomach.
This school year doesn't feel right, something is missing. Last year I felt that there were a few people who really cared about me, but now I'm unsure as to what extent someone can care about another person. Everything changes, everyone leaves. And I'm alone again.
Yesterday, I was smoking a cigarette and a girl asked me "Are you trying to kill yourself, or is it just a hobby?" Good question, although I honestly don't know anymore. Ironically, about an hour later, I found out that a girl I had a crush on when I was 16 killed herself. I'm so unsure of how to feel about that, my only real reaction has been a dull pain in my stomach.
This school year doesn't feel right, something is missing. Last year I felt that there were a few people who really cared about me, but now I'm unsure as to what extent someone can care about another person. Everything changes, everyone leaves. And I'm alone again.