Mask: Finding You Again (part II)
Pairing(s): YeWook
Date started: November 17, 2012
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, romance
Summary: This mask is the only glue holding the fragile pieces of me together in front of him, and I can do nothing but hide behind it. Why am I so ashamed to show myself to the world?
Warnings: Attempted suicide
A/N: Poster by Corrupted State of Mind.
...Jongwoon. Call me Jongwoon.'>
Mask
Part II - Finding You Again
My mind first became clear when I found myself wandering around Gangnam-gu. Bright red autumn leaves blew softly through the cool air, and the chattering of people walking by made the place feel warm and friendly.
The strange thing was, though, that no one seemed to notice I existed. When I spoke to someone or tapped on their arm to try to draw their attention, they ignored me and kept on walking. When I stood in someones path, they stepped around me without looking at me once.
What was even stranger was that I had no memory of who I was, or even what I was doing in Gangnam-gu. My brain was almost completely blank.
I felt like a ghost. A ghost with no memories. And no friends. Drifting slowly and aimlessly, like a puffy white cloud floating through the sky.
Or maybe not so aimlessly. Because even though I had no memory of why I was here, I felt strongly that there was someone. Someone I should be looking for, to find them and reassure myself that they were here.
I had no idea where to start looking for this someone, but I figured that if I had found myself having come to Gangnam-gu in search of them, then I would find them eventually.
So I let myself wander, for many, many months. I ate at the coffee shops of Garosu-gil, peered at the turtles in COEX Aquarium, and looked into Bongeunsa, until my feet led me to Dosan Park.
It was at Dosan Park that I met him.
---~***~---
I first caught sight of him sitting on a bench, with eyes shut and head bowed in what seemed like prayer. Something about the soft red hair stuffed haphazardly under a beanie drew me to him, though by now I knew that he would not see me.
I didn't know what I exactly wanted to accomplish, but I found myself creeping closer and closer to him, until I was right in front of him, and then I sat myself down on the bench to take a break after hours of walking.
Something deep inside me hoped against hope that he would see and acknowledge that I existed. But today that was not the case, so all I could do was sit there awkwardly and watch over him in silence until he finally left.
This became a sort of pattern over the next few weeks. The strange man came to the park every afternoon at exactly four o'clock and sat down on the same bench, and I would sit down next to him; we sat nearby but never close enough to touch.
On one particular day, I came to the bench as usual. He was there, doing whatever he did as always. This time, however, he seemed to be murmuring garbled words under his breath. I tried to prick up my ears like a cat to hear better, but I guess humans' ears weren't really suited for that kind of thing.
"Please ... ... Yesung ... come back ..." Many questions popped into my head at these words. Who was this man called "Yesung"? Why would he willingly leave such a sweet person? Tears slid down his cheeks, glistening in the light, and I impulsively reached out a hand to pat his back.
I definitely was not expecting him to realize that I existed. In his eyes, had I suddenly become visible out of nowhere? Probably as a result, he let out a cry of shock, tumbling off the bench and landing in a heap on the ground at my feet.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I apologized. The sound of my own voice was unfamiliar, rough and deep as if I had not used it for a long time (which was true). I extended my small hands to help him up off the ground.
In doing so, I got a good look at his face. The bones of his face were slender and delicate, with a sharp jawline and doll-like features; silver chains hung from his ears, swaying slightly in the wind. However, his red-rimmed eyes had an eerily dark and empty look to them. I swallowed hard, trying to force myself to focus.
"Who are you, and why are you wearing that?" He asked me blankly. His voice was absolutely beautiful in comparison to my own harsh tones, with a sharp clearness like ringing of a glass.
"W-wearing what?" I glanced down at the black jeans, sneakers, white shirt, and black hoodie that seemed to never get dirty or smell. There seemed nothing off about those clothes, so I reached my small hands up to my face.
On my face I felt a mask, like those ones that would be worn at old Western masquerades and balls. How could I not have noticed it before? Out of the corner of my eye I noticed I could also glimpse at the colour of it, which was a pale blue. Like the sky.
I would have taken that mask off so that he could have seen my face properly, but as soon as I knew of the mask's existence I could not, did not, and would not bear to take it off. I wished to show him who I truly was (despite the fact that even I did not know this) but simultaneously I felt a mixture of shame, desperation, and sadness at the thought of it.
I let my head drop uselessly into my hands. "I don't know. I don't know who I am, what I am doing here, who I am looking for..."
All along, he had been watching me flail about with a confused look on his face. A strange light seemed to make itself visible in the depths of his eyes. It was almost as if... he recognized me from somewhere.
"Well... okay. Let's just start from the beginning." His voice was calm, like the tolling of a bell far away in the wind. My name is Kim Ryeowook. How about you think of a name to call yourself for now?
Um er Suddenly a name made itself clear in my mind. I didnt know where it had come from, but I liked it a lot. Jongwoon. Call me Jongwoon.
Date started: November 17, 2012
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, romance
Summary: This mask is the only glue holding the fragile pieces of me together in front of him, and I can do nothing but hide behind it. Why am I so ashamed to show myself to the world?
Warnings: Attempted suicide
A/N: Poster by Corrupted State of Mind.
...Jongwoon. Call me Jongwoon.'>
Mask
Part II - Finding You Again
My mind first became clear when I found myself wandering around Gangnam-gu. Bright red autumn leaves blew softly through the cool air, and the chattering of people walking by made the place feel warm and friendly.
The strange thing was, though, that no one seemed to notice I existed. When I spoke to someone or tapped on their arm to try to draw their attention, they ignored me and kept on walking. When I stood in someones path, they stepped around me without looking at me once.
What was even stranger was that I had no memory of who I was, or even what I was doing in Gangnam-gu. My brain was almost completely blank.
I felt like a ghost. A ghost with no memories. And no friends. Drifting slowly and aimlessly, like a puffy white cloud floating through the sky.
Or maybe not so aimlessly. Because even though I had no memory of why I was here, I felt strongly that there was someone. Someone I should be looking for, to find them and reassure myself that they were here.
I had no idea where to start looking for this someone, but I figured that if I had found myself having come to Gangnam-gu in search of them, then I would find them eventually.
So I let myself wander, for many, many months. I ate at the coffee shops of Garosu-gil, peered at the turtles in COEX Aquarium, and looked into Bongeunsa, until my feet led me to Dosan Park.
It was at Dosan Park that I met him.
---~***~---
I first caught sight of him sitting on a bench, with eyes shut and head bowed in what seemed like prayer. Something about the soft red hair stuffed haphazardly under a beanie drew me to him, though by now I knew that he would not see me.
I didn't know what I exactly wanted to accomplish, but I found myself creeping closer and closer to him, until I was right in front of him, and then I sat myself down on the bench to take a break after hours of walking.
Something deep inside me hoped against hope that he would see and acknowledge that I existed. But today that was not the case, so all I could do was sit there awkwardly and watch over him in silence until he finally left.
This became a sort of pattern over the next few weeks. The strange man came to the park every afternoon at exactly four o'clock and sat down on the same bench, and I would sit down next to him; we sat nearby but never close enough to touch.
On one particular day, I came to the bench as usual. He was there, doing whatever he did as always. This time, however, he seemed to be murmuring garbled words under his breath. I tried to prick up my ears like a cat to hear better, but I guess humans' ears weren't really suited for that kind of thing.
"Please ... ... Yesung ... come back ..." Many questions popped into my head at these words. Who was this man called "Yesung"? Why would he willingly leave such a sweet person? Tears slid down his cheeks, glistening in the light, and I impulsively reached out a hand to pat his back.
I definitely was not expecting him to realize that I existed. In his eyes, had I suddenly become visible out of nowhere? Probably as a result, he let out a cry of shock, tumbling off the bench and landing in a heap on the ground at my feet.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I apologized. The sound of my own voice was unfamiliar, rough and deep as if I had not used it for a long time (which was true). I extended my small hands to help him up off the ground.
In doing so, I got a good look at his face. The bones of his face were slender and delicate, with a sharp jawline and doll-like features; silver chains hung from his ears, swaying slightly in the wind. However, his red-rimmed eyes had an eerily dark and empty look to them. I swallowed hard, trying to force myself to focus.
"Who are you, and why are you wearing that?" He asked me blankly. His voice was absolutely beautiful in comparison to my own harsh tones, with a sharp clearness like ringing of a glass.
"W-wearing what?" I glanced down at the black jeans, sneakers, white shirt, and black hoodie that seemed to never get dirty or smell. There seemed nothing off about those clothes, so I reached my small hands up to my face.
On my face I felt a mask, like those ones that would be worn at old Western masquerades and balls. How could I not have noticed it before? Out of the corner of my eye I noticed I could also glimpse at the colour of it, which was a pale blue. Like the sky.
I would have taken that mask off so that he could have seen my face properly, but as soon as I knew of the mask's existence I could not, did not, and would not bear to take it off. I wished to show him who I truly was (despite the fact that even I did not know this) but simultaneously I felt a mixture of shame, desperation, and sadness at the thought of it.
I let my head drop uselessly into my hands. "I don't know. I don't know who I am, what I am doing here, who I am looking for..."
All along, he had been watching me flail about with a confused look on his face. A strange light seemed to make itself visible in the depths of his eyes. It was almost as if... he recognized me from somewhere.
"Well... okay. Let's just start from the beginning." His voice was calm, like the tolling of a bell far away in the wind. My name is Kim Ryeowook. How about you think of a name to call yourself for now?
Um er Suddenly a name made itself clear in my mind. I didnt know where it had come from, but I liked it a lot. Jongwoon. Call me Jongwoon.