Accelerating Heartbeat - Chapter 9
Pairing(s):KyuMin
Date started: May 9, 2012
Date finished: July 2, 2012
Rating: PG-13?
Genre: Angst, fluff, romance
Summary: Lee Sungmin has finally created a miracle robot, seemingly perfect in every way. But of course nothing can be perfect, and in this instance he's missing something vital: a heart.
Warnings: Character death(s)
A/N: Well... this was actually inspired by the story of Kokoro, sung by Kagamine Rin & Len xD Also, there's an alternate ending, but I'm not posting it here because I think it's the crappiest of the crap = =' Poster by Fateful Dreamer Graphic Request Shop.
Gui Xian.
"But I am a robot. I cannot love anyone. I'm sorry, Sungmin."
What have I just said?
All of the usual bright colour is draining slowly from his face, until it looks like porcelain. Completely white. The moon, which rose while we were talking, makes his face look even paler, as if he is glowing.
I often hear the word 'Sungmin' emit from my mouth. I do not understand what that word means, and it comes automatically when I see that face, of the person who created me who gives off a bright glow of some colour that I cannot name. The colour is noticeably different from the rest of the world which can probably only be described as grey.
I have never seen this glow on anything besides him and the creature... What did he call it? A bunny?
I am going off on a tangent again. I seem to be doing this often now.
"Okay," he whispers softly, his eyes wide and shining with tears. "I- I'm sorry for bothering you with this..."
We walk back to his apartment in silence. It is different because all the times we had gone out before, his tiny hand with slender fingers was clutched in mine. The warmth from his hand that I could never emit naturally made me feel as if I was not alone in this world.
But now it is cold. I am figuratively wandering alone in the dark.
Of course, I have little problem with this. I have no problem with anything because I am a robot.
As we walk back, I cannot see his face, hidden by his hair as his head is bowed. I hear almost-imperceptible sounds coming from him. Like breathing, but much deeper and louder, and with occasional choking sounds, as if he is trying to hold them back. His shoulders tremble.
What is that word?
...Loading. Please wait.
sob
verb /säb/
sobbed, past participle; sobbed, past tense; sobbing, present participle; sobs, 3rd person singular present
Cry noisily, making loud, convulsive gasps
* - he broke down and sobbed like a child
* - he sobbed himself to sleep
Does he think that I cannot hear his... sobbing? He is mistaken.
I do not know why he must make this sound. Would it be so hard for him to just tell me how he feels?
Actually, no. I would not understand how he feels.
What should I do? For once I cannot process this well enough to respond appropriately to whatever he is doing.
We end up not conversing at all as we walk back to his apartment.
The sounds from him continue for a long time even after we return and go to bed. Of course, being a robot, I cannot actually sleep and am still very aware of my surroundings.
My thoughts wander whenever it is this time of day. Or night, I suppose.
Over time I have felt something inside myself whenever I see him smile, the feeling becoming heavier and heavier gradually.
Is that what he meant when he talked about a heart?
I guess I must care about him a lot. I still do not know why I was willing to... 'get a job' as he calls it, just to support him.
He has always called me a very 'curious' person. Not a curious robot.
I assume that 'curious' means to desire more information and data about this world we live in?
Then I suppose that would explain why I wish to understand what he feels and why he feels that way.
---~***~---
Over the following days, I can see him trying to hide behind his work. I wish I could ask him to relax and stop, even for a little. He is slowly working himself to death.
Though I do not think he would listen to me. He seems to have been focused so much on something that he has no time for anything else.
What is he doing, anyway? He did say that he was working so that I could have a heart.
Why would he work so hard and neglect his health for me?
Is it because... he loves me?
That is the effect of love... it can make one do crazy things?
I got a job, just so I could support him. That could have been a crazy thing to do.
Does that mean.... I love him too?
But I cannot feel what love is. Only a heaviness in my chest whenever I see his smile or hold his hand. Which gets heavier and heavier each time.
I should probably stop thinking like this. Time for working.
"Sungmin." I call to him. That strange word again. Even though I do not know why it comes out, I like the sound of it and how it lilts perfectly on my tongue. "I have to leave now."
"Okaaay!" he calls back, not moving from his seat at his computer.
He really should get up from that computer. Once he even worked so far into the night that his eyes closed and he fell asleep right there. I picked him up and carried him back to his bed so he could sleep more comfortably.
Work is normal. Sing for several hours tirelessly, ignore the people who are drowning their rational minds in alcohol, and get the money for my work.
Except after that, nothing is normal. I do not like abnormal.
As usual, I walk out into the cool night. I always see a few people stumble drunkenly out after.
Then a tall man comes up to me as I am walking down the street. I can see no haze in his eyes, so he must be completely sober.
"This is it." He says, smirking.
What does he mean? "Who... are you?" I ask, slowly.
He ignores my words. "Well... Sungmin certainly made an... attractive little robot."
Now that I think about it, his voice is like butter. I am so focused on trying to understand what he means that I am unprepared when he pushes me up against the wall and holds me there with strong hands.
"What are you doing?" I ask him.
"Goddammit, why are you so calm? Shut up. Your precious creator Sungmin won't be too happy when he sees this." he says in a singsong voice as he tugs my shirt open with one hand.
The man keeps on trying to touch me, and muffles my words with a kiss. Not like the one last night, which was gentle and soft. This one is forced.
I remember. "...Anyway, just don't let anyone make you do anything that you don't want to..."
Do I want this?
...No. I instinctively start struggling to escape from that man- okay, maybe not a man, rather a thug.
But it's useless, because he is too strong. As I struggle, he strikes and beats me a little, but of course I cannot feel it and am not bothered. I let out little cries in hope that somewhere, wherever he is, he will hear me and help me.
Then after what seems like an eternity, suddenly the thug is gone, and I can only lean against the wall in confusion as the thug is getting thoroughly beaten up by him. My creator. Lee Sungmin.
I notice that he is in a worse condition than I must be. It must hurt him so much to even move... why would he do that for me?
After the thug is gone, he looks at me dazedly, his eyes glazed with pain, before going limp. I manage to catch him in my arms and hold him close.
His weight is almost non-existent. That sickness has done so much to his body...
"Sungmin." I whisper. "You saved me? Why would you do that?"
He chokes, before saying, "B-Because I love you..." his small hand touches my face and wipes at it absently, before dropping as he passes out completely.
Date started: May 9, 2012
Date finished: July 2, 2012
Rating: PG-13?
Genre: Angst, fluff, romance
Summary: Lee Sungmin has finally created a miracle robot, seemingly perfect in every way. But of course nothing can be perfect, and in this instance he's missing something vital: a heart.
Warnings: Character death(s)
A/N: Well... this was actually inspired by the story of Kokoro, sung by Kagamine Rin & Len xD Also, there's an alternate ending, but I'm not posting it here because I think it's the crappiest of the crap = =' Poster by Fateful Dreamer Graphic Request Shop.
Gui Xian.
"But I am a robot. I cannot love anyone. I'm sorry, Sungmin."
What have I just said?
All of the usual bright colour is draining slowly from his face, until it looks like porcelain. Completely white. The moon, which rose while we were talking, makes his face look even paler, as if he is glowing.
I often hear the word 'Sungmin' emit from my mouth. I do not understand what that word means, and it comes automatically when I see that face, of the person who created me who gives off a bright glow of some colour that I cannot name. The colour is noticeably different from the rest of the world which can probably only be described as grey.
I have never seen this glow on anything besides him and the creature... What did he call it? A bunny?
I am going off on a tangent again. I seem to be doing this often now.
"Okay," he whispers softly, his eyes wide and shining with tears. "I- I'm sorry for bothering you with this..."
We walk back to his apartment in silence. It is different because all the times we had gone out before, his tiny hand with slender fingers was clutched in mine. The warmth from his hand that I could never emit naturally made me feel as if I was not alone in this world.
But now it is cold. I am figuratively wandering alone in the dark.
Of course, I have little problem with this. I have no problem with anything because I am a robot.
As we walk back, I cannot see his face, hidden by his hair as his head is bowed. I hear almost-imperceptible sounds coming from him. Like breathing, but much deeper and louder, and with occasional choking sounds, as if he is trying to hold them back. His shoulders tremble.
What is that word?
...Loading. Please wait.
sob
verb /säb/
sobbed, past participle; sobbed, past tense; sobbing, present participle; sobs, 3rd person singular present
Cry noisily, making loud, convulsive gasps
* - he broke down and sobbed like a child
* - he sobbed himself to sleep
Does he think that I cannot hear his... sobbing? He is mistaken.
I do not know why he must make this sound. Would it be so hard for him to just tell me how he feels?
Actually, no. I would not understand how he feels.
What should I do? For once I cannot process this well enough to respond appropriately to whatever he is doing.
We end up not conversing at all as we walk back to his apartment.
The sounds from him continue for a long time even after we return and go to bed. Of course, being a robot, I cannot actually sleep and am still very aware of my surroundings.
My thoughts wander whenever it is this time of day. Or night, I suppose.
Over time I have felt something inside myself whenever I see him smile, the feeling becoming heavier and heavier gradually.
Is that what he meant when he talked about a heart?
I guess I must care about him a lot. I still do not know why I was willing to... 'get a job' as he calls it, just to support him.
He has always called me a very 'curious' person. Not a curious robot.
I assume that 'curious' means to desire more information and data about this world we live in?
Then I suppose that would explain why I wish to understand what he feels and why he feels that way.
---~***~---
Over the following days, I can see him trying to hide behind his work. I wish I could ask him to relax and stop, even for a little. He is slowly working himself to death.
Though I do not think he would listen to me. He seems to have been focused so much on something that he has no time for anything else.
What is he doing, anyway? He did say that he was working so that I could have a heart.
Why would he work so hard and neglect his health for me?
Is it because... he loves me?
That is the effect of love... it can make one do crazy things?
I got a job, just so I could support him. That could have been a crazy thing to do.
Does that mean.... I love him too?
But I cannot feel what love is. Only a heaviness in my chest whenever I see his smile or hold his hand. Which gets heavier and heavier each time.
I should probably stop thinking like this. Time for working.
"Sungmin." I call to him. That strange word again. Even though I do not know why it comes out, I like the sound of it and how it lilts perfectly on my tongue. "I have to leave now."
"Okaaay!" he calls back, not moving from his seat at his computer.
He really should get up from that computer. Once he even worked so far into the night that his eyes closed and he fell asleep right there. I picked him up and carried him back to his bed so he could sleep more comfortably.
Work is normal. Sing for several hours tirelessly, ignore the people who are drowning their rational minds in alcohol, and get the money for my work.
Except after that, nothing is normal. I do not like abnormal.
As usual, I walk out into the cool night. I always see a few people stumble drunkenly out after.
Then a tall man comes up to me as I am walking down the street. I can see no haze in his eyes, so he must be completely sober.
"This is it." He says, smirking.
What does he mean? "Who... are you?" I ask, slowly.
He ignores my words. "Well... Sungmin certainly made an... attractive little robot."
Now that I think about it, his voice is like butter. I am so focused on trying to understand what he means that I am unprepared when he pushes me up against the wall and holds me there with strong hands.
"What are you doing?" I ask him.
"Goddammit, why are you so calm? Shut up. Your precious creator Sungmin won't be too happy when he sees this." he says in a singsong voice as he tugs my shirt open with one hand.
The man keeps on trying to touch me, and muffles my words with a kiss. Not like the one last night, which was gentle and soft. This one is forced.
I remember. "...Anyway, just don't let anyone make you do anything that you don't want to..."
Do I want this?
...No. I instinctively start struggling to escape from that man- okay, maybe not a man, rather a thug.
But it's useless, because he is too strong. As I struggle, he strikes and beats me a little, but of course I cannot feel it and am not bothered. I let out little cries in hope that somewhere, wherever he is, he will hear me and help me.
Then after what seems like an eternity, suddenly the thug is gone, and I can only lean against the wall in confusion as the thug is getting thoroughly beaten up by him. My creator. Lee Sungmin.
I notice that he is in a worse condition than I must be. It must hurt him so much to even move... why would he do that for me?
After the thug is gone, he looks at me dazedly, his eyes glazed with pain, before going limp. I manage to catch him in my arms and hold him close.
His weight is almost non-existent. That sickness has done so much to his body...
"Sungmin." I whisper. "You saved me? Why would you do that?"
He chokes, before saying, "B-Because I love you..." his small hand touches my face and wipes at it absently, before dropping as he passes out completely.