new journal....woot
so i had to start my journal all over again, because they deleted my old one. prolly good anyway. i just made a big decision. and i dont know whether it was phenomenally stupid or one of the smartest things ive ever done. time will tell. i hope that it was smart. an thats good, that i can hope. i believe that it was smart, which is obviously why i did it. all thats left is to convince my brain that it was the right thing to do. i asked some friends, who told me it was. then it occured to me that their opinion is nice to have, but in the end its mine that matters. how much i love someone really determines how much their opinion matters to me. an the person i love most i cant ask right now. hopefully ill be able to ask them soon, and ill get the same answer from them that i got from my heart. that would be nice.
my recital is this coming sunday. seems like half the world is coming. life will be interesting this week. my dress rehearsal was today, and it went really well. i hope that the recital goes as well, and that the various people there wont kill each other or find other ways to ruin it. its my day, and i dont want it ruined. so ill just try my best, because im learning that i cant control what other people do or think.
kate sheeran said that writing things down might help. so did kelly. so did the stupid fucker (aka the doctor). so did the ra last night. so im writing things down. hopefully it'll help. maybe ill be able to sleep. im not getting beaten by a bunch of chemicals, not when i hate science stuff anyway. so boring and meticulous. ill leave it to the people who like wearing white lab coats. i look bad in them. ill stick to pretty recital dresses.
now that some of the stuff im thinking is out of my head, ill try and go to sleep (aka finish my book and then sleep). maybe having written it down will mean that it wont be holding an indie 500 to see which thought can race through my head the fastest. although that is an amusing mental image. bedtime now.
an i love my sisters. ALL of them. the sai sisters, and my stepsisters, and my spirit sisters. i should place more trust in them all, but especially in my spirit sisters. i think i might be happier.
my recital is this coming sunday. seems like half the world is coming. life will be interesting this week. my dress rehearsal was today, and it went really well. i hope that the recital goes as well, and that the various people there wont kill each other or find other ways to ruin it. its my day, and i dont want it ruined. so ill just try my best, because im learning that i cant control what other people do or think.
kate sheeran said that writing things down might help. so did kelly. so did the stupid fucker (aka the doctor). so did the ra last night. so im writing things down. hopefully it'll help. maybe ill be able to sleep. im not getting beaten by a bunch of chemicals, not when i hate science stuff anyway. so boring and meticulous. ill leave it to the people who like wearing white lab coats. i look bad in them. ill stick to pretty recital dresses.
now that some of the stuff im thinking is out of my head, ill try and go to sleep (aka finish my book and then sleep). maybe having written it down will mean that it wont be holding an indie 500 to see which thought can race through my head the fastest. although that is an amusing mental image. bedtime now.
an i love my sisters. ALL of them. the sai sisters, and my stepsisters, and my spirit sisters. i should place more trust in them all, but especially in my spirit sisters. i think i might be happier.