Only you
I know him since my first year in university. But, it's not until my second year that I developed a crush on him before finally falling in love with him in my final year.
I know him as a friend of my friend. I always hanging out with Sho kun in the cafe and sometimes he was there but we never talk. I don't really like talking to him because he looks so shy and quiet, always spacing out. I totally cannot handle that kind of person because I'm an outgoing person. There was a few times that we bumped into each other without Sho kun but we acted like we don't know each other.
On my second year, I found out from Sho kun that he is dating someone and will get married during our semester break. His girlfriend is really beautiful and kind. He himself is not that bad. Even though he looks sleepy, he is so cute. We finally talked in our second year. When he knew that I have a talent in composing a song, he asked for my help to compose a song for his girlfriend. He wanted to sing the song on her birthday. I attended the birthday party and couldn't help but being mesmerized with his sweet voice. Totally melting with his voice and that is when I started to have a crush on him. But, knowing that he will get married soon, I keep the feeling for myself. There is no way a straight person like him will like a gay like me. Plus, it was just a crush. It will go away when I met someone new.
On our second semester of our second year, I found out that he broke up with his girlfriend. It seems that his girlfriend was dating another person behind his back. I couldn't understand why his girlfriend did that. She is so stupid to let go of a guy as good as him.
That's when I got closer to him. I never know that will lead to a great frustration in my life. To be closer with him and fall in love with him are the two biggest mistakes in my life. If I could turn back time, I will make sure that I never talk to him in the first place.
We got closer because I always help him in his studies. In return, I will get him to sing the new song that I composed. We always exchange email. Before knowing it, I think that I have falling in love with him. I tried to put some distance with him because I don't want to fall deeper in love with him. I know that he will not love me. He is not a gay. Aiba chan, my childhood friend, is the only one who knows my feeling for him. Aiba never met him because he studied in a different university than mine. He kept on encouraging to confess but I'm so afraid of rejection. I used to be rejected before this. The pain was still there and I still remember my first love that I kept doubting if I really love him in the first place, or was it just a rebound?
I don't know if he noticed the distance but he didn't do anything to be closer with me again. I guess I'm just another friend to him, while he means a lot to me. I kept myself busy with games and assignment to make me forget about him.
That is when J comes. I know him first. We shared the same interest in games. He always asked for my advice to pass some levels in the games that both of us played. I saw him talking with J sometimes, but it doesn't really bother me. It does make me jealous, but I chose to ignore the feelings. When Sho kun proposed to go for a vacation in US during our holidays, I refused. I already promised Aiba that I would visit UK with him for our holidays.
The vacation made the relationship between J and him to be closer. I never know about that. When I met J after the holiday was over, he kept on telling me about him that I suspected J has the same feeling to him like I do. And, during this time as well that Sho kun told me that another reason he broke up with his girlfriend was that he realized that he is a gay because he fall in love with a guy. When I told Aiba about this, he was sure that I'm the guy he fall in love with. I don't know why but I agreed and I really want to get him back no matter what. I emailed him like before but realizing that he was not like before. Sometimes, he didn't even reply my email.
Then, I saw J and him going out together. They looked so close and I never see him happy like that. Then, I realized that maybe I am too late. Even if it is me who he fall in love with before this, it may have changed now. Maybe he is in love with J now. Maybe I should give up in getting him back.
A day before our graduation, I had a dream where he ended up with J and ignored me. When I woke up, I realized that I was crying. That's when I realized for sure that I have love him all this time but too late and stupid to admit it. I felt so alone and called Aiba to make me feel better. I don't know how long I cried but I'm thankful that Aiba was there for me.
It has been three years since our graduation. That's the last time I saw him. After completing my studies, I went back to my hometown and started working as a teacher in my old school. Aiba has been successfully become a veterinarian and opened an animal clinic in our hometown. As always, he is the only one who kept on trying to cheer me up because he know that deep inside of my heart, I still miss you. I wish that you are happy with J now. I wish that I can tell you that I love you before it is too late. But, no matter what, I know that it will not change the fact that we're not together.
I'll make it easy to understand. Yes, very simple.
Easy enough for you and me to get it.
I'll try telling it to you.
"I like you."
The times at that place where our shadows overlapped.
Or that walking through the same days connected us together.
It'll change all of those times...
So that I'll be able to sing it out, so that it'll make it to you,
It'd be nice if I could go to meet you。。
I can tell, I know where you are.
Almost as if I could see it, as if you were right beside me.
That's why it's hard. Because I know, but no matter what, I can't go to you
When I say, "Keep doing your best", you'll smile at me...
I made meals for you.
I put out the things that you liked.
Though none of them are eaten in the end.
...But I'm used to that now.
If I can make it better next time... Though there's no way that will happen, I'll try my best to do it.
Something you can see, but I can't.
I get bold enough when I'm drunk that I murmur, "You're not fair."
I wonder if that's true? Maybe I've changed a little?
"It seems like you've gotten lazier?"
Carried in through the window on the breeze, I heard you say that. You never change, do you...
Those times when you smiled gently at me, that place where we were together.
That is the thing that is the most important to me So important, it makes me want to cry.
The days when I said that to myself, I couldn't tell you.
...I wonder why I couldn't say it to you?
Rather than that thing that we look up at in the distance, you are... you are...
If it's now, I think I can say it.
You're more beautiful than a rainbow...
And, that's the song that I wish to sing to you, Ohno Satoshi.
A/N: The song is from Nino's solo, Sore wa yappari kimi deshita. Credit to Yarukizero for the lyrics.
I know him as a friend of my friend. I always hanging out with Sho kun in the cafe and sometimes he was there but we never talk. I don't really like talking to him because he looks so shy and quiet, always spacing out. I totally cannot handle that kind of person because I'm an outgoing person. There was a few times that we bumped into each other without Sho kun but we acted like we don't know each other.
On my second year, I found out from Sho kun that he is dating someone and will get married during our semester break. His girlfriend is really beautiful and kind. He himself is not that bad. Even though he looks sleepy, he is so cute. We finally talked in our second year. When he knew that I have a talent in composing a song, he asked for my help to compose a song for his girlfriend. He wanted to sing the song on her birthday. I attended the birthday party and couldn't help but being mesmerized with his sweet voice. Totally melting with his voice and that is when I started to have a crush on him. But, knowing that he will get married soon, I keep the feeling for myself. There is no way a straight person like him will like a gay like me. Plus, it was just a crush. It will go away when I met someone new.
On our second semester of our second year, I found out that he broke up with his girlfriend. It seems that his girlfriend was dating another person behind his back. I couldn't understand why his girlfriend did that. She is so stupid to let go of a guy as good as him.
That's when I got closer to him. I never know that will lead to a great frustration in my life. To be closer with him and fall in love with him are the two biggest mistakes in my life. If I could turn back time, I will make sure that I never talk to him in the first place.
We got closer because I always help him in his studies. In return, I will get him to sing the new song that I composed. We always exchange email. Before knowing it, I think that I have falling in love with him. I tried to put some distance with him because I don't want to fall deeper in love with him. I know that he will not love me. He is not a gay. Aiba chan, my childhood friend, is the only one who knows my feeling for him. Aiba never met him because he studied in a different university than mine. He kept on encouraging to confess but I'm so afraid of rejection. I used to be rejected before this. The pain was still there and I still remember my first love that I kept doubting if I really love him in the first place, or was it just a rebound?
I don't know if he noticed the distance but he didn't do anything to be closer with me again. I guess I'm just another friend to him, while he means a lot to me. I kept myself busy with games and assignment to make me forget about him.
That is when J comes. I know him first. We shared the same interest in games. He always asked for my advice to pass some levels in the games that both of us played. I saw him talking with J sometimes, but it doesn't really bother me. It does make me jealous, but I chose to ignore the feelings. When Sho kun proposed to go for a vacation in US during our holidays, I refused. I already promised Aiba that I would visit UK with him for our holidays.
The vacation made the relationship between J and him to be closer. I never know about that. When I met J after the holiday was over, he kept on telling me about him that I suspected J has the same feeling to him like I do. And, during this time as well that Sho kun told me that another reason he broke up with his girlfriend was that he realized that he is a gay because he fall in love with a guy. When I told Aiba about this, he was sure that I'm the guy he fall in love with. I don't know why but I agreed and I really want to get him back no matter what. I emailed him like before but realizing that he was not like before. Sometimes, he didn't even reply my email.
Then, I saw J and him going out together. They looked so close and I never see him happy like that. Then, I realized that maybe I am too late. Even if it is me who he fall in love with before this, it may have changed now. Maybe he is in love with J now. Maybe I should give up in getting him back.
A day before our graduation, I had a dream where he ended up with J and ignored me. When I woke up, I realized that I was crying. That's when I realized for sure that I have love him all this time but too late and stupid to admit it. I felt so alone and called Aiba to make me feel better. I don't know how long I cried but I'm thankful that Aiba was there for me.
It has been three years since our graduation. That's the last time I saw him. After completing my studies, I went back to my hometown and started working as a teacher in my old school. Aiba has been successfully become a veterinarian and opened an animal clinic in our hometown. As always, he is the only one who kept on trying to cheer me up because he know that deep inside of my heart, I still miss you. I wish that you are happy with J now. I wish that I can tell you that I love you before it is too late. But, no matter what, I know that it will not change the fact that we're not together.
I'll make it easy to understand. Yes, very simple.
Easy enough for you and me to get it.
I'll try telling it to you.
"I like you."
The times at that place where our shadows overlapped.
Or that walking through the same days connected us together.
It'll change all of those times...
So that I'll be able to sing it out, so that it'll make it to you,
It'd be nice if I could go to meet you。。
I can tell, I know where you are.
Almost as if I could see it, as if you were right beside me.
That's why it's hard. Because I know, but no matter what, I can't go to you
When I say, "Keep doing your best", you'll smile at me...
I made meals for you.
I put out the things that you liked.
Though none of them are eaten in the end.
...But I'm used to that now.
If I can make it better next time... Though there's no way that will happen, I'll try my best to do it.
Something you can see, but I can't.
I get bold enough when I'm drunk that I murmur, "You're not fair."
I wonder if that's true? Maybe I've changed a little?
"It seems like you've gotten lazier?"
Carried in through the window on the breeze, I heard you say that. You never change, do you...
Those times when you smiled gently at me, that place where we were together.
That is the thing that is the most important to me So important, it makes me want to cry.
The days when I said that to myself, I couldn't tell you.
...I wonder why I couldn't say it to you?
Rather than that thing that we look up at in the distance, you are... you are...
If it's now, I think I can say it.
You're more beautiful than a rainbow...
And, that's the song that I wish to sing to you, Ohno Satoshi.
A/N: The song is from Nino's solo, Sore wa yappari kimi deshita. Credit to Yarukizero for the lyrics.