Funny e-mail ---- Actual call centre conversations !!!!!
>
>Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
>through to enquiries, can you help?".
>Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
>Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
>Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>----
>-------------------------------------
> Samsung Electronics
> Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
>about".
> Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
>states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket
>and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for
>Jack?"
> Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> RAC Motoring Services
> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I
>am
>travelling in Australia?"
> Operator: " Doesn't the product give you a clue?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in
>France):
> "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering
>wheel to the other side of the car?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Directory Enquiries
> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in
>Cardiff please".
> Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling
>correct?"
> Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar
>but
>the 'B' fell off".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven
> Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
> Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in
>Scotland".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
>box told a worried operator:
> "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the
>number on".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
> Customer: "OK".
> Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
>until
>this point?".
> Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
>'click'".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the
>screen,
>can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
> Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just
>realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I
>have my file back again?".
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>----
>-------------------------------------
> There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
>long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is
>a true story fro m the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from
>a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
>Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
>Word Perfect organization for "Termination without ! Cause".
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
>(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>
> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> Operator: "What s! ort of trouble??"
> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
>sudden
>the words went away."
> Operator: "Went away?"
> Caller: "They disappeared."
> Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
> Caller: "Nothing."
> Operator: "Nothing??"
> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
>type."
> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
> Caller: "How do I tell?"
> Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
>screen?"
> Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
>accept
>anything I type."
> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
> Caller: "What's a monitor?"
> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
>like a
>TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
> Caller: "I don't know."
> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
>find
>where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
> Caller: "Yes, I think so."
> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
>it's
>plugged into the wall.
> Caller: "Yes, it is."
> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
>that
>there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
>again !
>and find the other cable."
> Caller: "Okay, here it is."
> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
>securely
>into the back of your computer."
> Caller: "I can't reach."
> Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
>lean
>way over??"
> Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
>angle -
>it's because it's dark."
> Operator: "Dark??"
> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only
>light I
>have is coming in from the window"
> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> Caller: "I can't."
> Operator: "No? Why not??"
> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
> Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got
>it
>licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
>your computer came in??"
> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
>it
>up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
>bought it from."
> Caller: ! "Really? Is it that bad?"
> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I
>tell
>them??"
> Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%***g stupid to own a
>computer!!!!!"
>Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
>through to enquiries, can you help?".
>Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
>Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
>Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>----
>-------------------------------------
> Samsung Electronics
> Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
>about".
> Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
>states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket
>and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for
>Jack?"
> Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> RAC Motoring Services
> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I
>am
>travelling in Australia?"
> Operator: " Doesn't the product give you a clue?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in
>France):
> "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering
>wheel to the other side of the car?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Directory Enquiries
> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in
>Cardiff please".
> Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling
>correct?"
> Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar
>but
>the 'B' fell off".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven
> Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
> Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in
>Scotland".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
>box told a worried operator:
> "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the
>number on".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
> Customer: "OK".
> Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
>until
>this point?".
> Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
>'click'".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the
>screen,
>can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
> Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just
>realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I
>have my file back again?".
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>----
>-------------------------------------
> There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
>long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is
>a true story fro m the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from
>a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
>Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
>Word Perfect organization for "Termination without ! Cause".
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
>(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>
> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> Operator: "What s! ort of trouble??"
> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
>sudden
>the words went away."
> Operator: "Went away?"
> Caller: "They disappeared."
> Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
> Caller: "Nothing."
> Operator: "Nothing??"
> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
>type."
> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
> Caller: "How do I tell?"
> Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
>screen?"
> Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
>accept
>anything I type."
> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
> Caller: "What's a monitor?"
> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
>like a
>TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
> Caller: "I don't know."
> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
>find
>where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
> Caller: "Yes, I think so."
> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
>it's
>plugged into the wall.
> Caller: "Yes, it is."
> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
>that
>there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
>again !
>and find the other cable."
> Caller: "Okay, here it is."
> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
>securely
>into the back of your computer."
> Caller: "I can't reach."
> Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
>lean
>way over??"
> Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
>angle -
>it's because it's dark."
> Operator: "Dark??"
> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only
>light I
>have is coming in from the window"
> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> Caller: "I can't."
> Operator: "No? Why not??"
> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
> Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got
>it
>licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
>your computer came in??"
> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
>it
>up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
>bought it from."
> Caller: ! "Really? Is it that bad?"
> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I
>tell
>them??"
> Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%***g stupid to own a
>computer!!!!!"