Loving Someone You Can't Have pt 3
Youngwoong Jaejoong. Kim Jaejoong. Two names. Two different personalities that are so different. Youngwoong is beautiful. He draws everyone’s eyes with his flawless appearance, his round, cold eyes mesmerizing, his skin smooth and pale as silk, his sculpted form contrasting with his feminine appearance. People found Youngwoong’s beauty to be godlike, ephemeral almost.
Yunho found Kim Jaejoong enchanting. Shy laughs covered by a white hand that hits so perfectly with his own. Eyes dancing with mischievousness as they goaded him into indulging in the sweet poison called fan service. Warm body that lies so closely next to him at night. That warm body is an oxymoron; it fulfilled his physical desires when awake but shied away from afterwards. When it was asleep it snuggled next to him and brought more conflicting feelings and butterflies when it was twisting in pleasure accompanied with muffle moans underneath him.
Jung Yunho wasn’t a fool. He knew from a long time ago that he loves Kim Jaejoong. He loves the singer’s caring nature, his meticulous care over the band and Yunho himself. He loves the melodious voice that took the place of umma in hearts of three boys whose family had too been left behind in the road to fame. But Yunho was a downright bastard. He loves the man, but he could never show it. They would not able to go on dates because a scandal between the leader and the lead singer of TVXQ would be bigger than that of a the leader of TVXQ and a female celebrity because society can accept a fling between a man and a woman, but they can never accept true love between a man and another man. So he takes what he can get. He takes the mind-blowing sex, and he takes all the love Kim Jaejoong gives him. Yet he never gives back; he ignores the longing looks of the one he loves but returns them when that one wasn’t looking because he’s afraid. He’s afraid of letting Jaejoong knows his true feelings. The boundaries had become so messed up that sometimes he just feels like just one look could shatter everything.
But Jung Yunho was foolish in another sense. He dates other women to forget the piece of Kim Jaejoong embedded in his heart. When he finally realized that this stupid feat would never work because while he’s with them all he can think of is the fallen angel waiting for him at home, he cries and turns to the one he had been running away from. He cries because their love was doomed from the start. He cries because he wants to feel comforting arms around him, and he cries because he loved Kim Jaejoong way to much to ever leave. Thus the pain of loving another man stabs at him yet another day.
Yunho found Kim Jaejoong enchanting. Shy laughs covered by a white hand that hits so perfectly with his own. Eyes dancing with mischievousness as they goaded him into indulging in the sweet poison called fan service. Warm body that lies so closely next to him at night. That warm body is an oxymoron; it fulfilled his physical desires when awake but shied away from afterwards. When it was asleep it snuggled next to him and brought more conflicting feelings and butterflies when it was twisting in pleasure accompanied with muffle moans underneath him.
Jung Yunho wasn’t a fool. He knew from a long time ago that he loves Kim Jaejoong. He loves the singer’s caring nature, his meticulous care over the band and Yunho himself. He loves the melodious voice that took the place of umma in hearts of three boys whose family had too been left behind in the road to fame. But Yunho was a downright bastard. He loves the man, but he could never show it. They would not able to go on dates because a scandal between the leader and the lead singer of TVXQ would be bigger than that of a the leader of TVXQ and a female celebrity because society can accept a fling between a man and a woman, but they can never accept true love between a man and another man. So he takes what he can get. He takes the mind-blowing sex, and he takes all the love Kim Jaejoong gives him. Yet he never gives back; he ignores the longing looks of the one he loves but returns them when that one wasn’t looking because he’s afraid. He’s afraid of letting Jaejoong knows his true feelings. The boundaries had become so messed up that sometimes he just feels like just one look could shatter everything.
But Jung Yunho was foolish in another sense. He dates other women to forget the piece of Kim Jaejoong embedded in his heart. When he finally realized that this stupid feat would never work because while he’s with them all he can think of is the fallen angel waiting for him at home, he cries and turns to the one he had been running away from. He cries because their love was doomed from the start. He cries because he wants to feel comforting arms around him, and he cries because he loved Kim Jaejoong way to much to ever leave. Thus the pain of loving another man stabs at him yet another day.