heartbroken
Why do I bother trying when you dont care? You always tell IM crazy and how much you love me, but I dont understand why you dont show it. I fell head over heals over you 2 years ago...you were so different, and everytime i think about the old times I start to cry, because I miss how things you used to be. You were not only my boyfriend you were my best friend, now it's like I can barely tell you anything. I took last night off to spend with you, but no you obviously could care less. Im so sick of crying over you. I never thought anything could ruin today with my acceptance letter, but thanks to you, you've done that. I told you I had tommorow off to spend all day with you, no your working suddenly.. honestly.. I try so hard, and its never enough.. all I do is cry, I pray to god everynight for giving you to me..I always tell everybody that your not the asshole that you present yourself to be.. you've done so much to me..so much pain that will NEVER heal..never, and I cant look into your eyes without seeing heartbreak in it. I used to look in your eyes and I could see love, I could see my future, and I could see our children in them, but now..it's all erased..nothings there anymore... Im sorry I let you do this to me, god knows Ill get over you, and its going to be hard.. I know its going to be hard, but I wont let you make me this way. I cry to the point where Im physically sick. You've made me emotionally drained. I dont understand why anyone would do this to someone they love.. You've lied 3094802 x, and no matter what I've forgiven you.. Ive tried so hard Daniel, so FUCKING hard and its not working, nothing I do works.. Your the only person who has the power to make me feel like this... I hope you understand that because of you I can never love again.. NOT once have you ever apoligized to me, for anything you've ever done.. NEVER, it hurts so much to think of all the bad times, cuz the good times are being forced out of my mind.. I cant let you do this to me any longer, I cant deal with it, Im still in love with you , for the rest of my life.. I cant do this anymore.. I hurt too much ,adn I WISH YOU COULD SEE IT , and hold me like you used to .. comfort me like you used to .. wipe my tears like you used to.. I miss those times when you held me close, I felt so safe and comfortable, you made me feel so much better, now i cry and cry and your no where in site..ever... im so tired..im done bitching