(no subject)
So I decided it was probably time to see a shrink, and I went to one who was recommended by a friend. He told me that lawyers are one of the most depressed of all professions and said I should think more positively.
Ok so it's called cognitive behaviour therapy and it seems everyone swears by it. But just because it has an official sounding name and even has a nifty acronym (CBT) doesn't mean that it's not just shorthand for positive thinking.
Look I get that some people need positive thinking, I do. I get that thinking that you're a bad person and bad things always happen to you because you're a bad person may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But what my shrink didn't get was that sometimes bad things happen to you and it has nothing to do with your negative thinking and sometimes life does shitty things to you and to those around you and because you are sad or angry about those things does not mean that you are necessarily depressed (although you might be) or that you need a little pill (although maybe it would help) or that you just need to think more fucking positively and act in a way that conveys your belief that everything is actually fine. Sometimes you just need to be sad and maybe angry and sometimes you just have to keep going on with your everyday existence and you can be sad because you feel you have to pretend that things are fine and normal. And writing a list about why the things that you believe to be a disaster aren't really such a disaster is such a god-damn disrespectful thing to ask you to do and it invalidates your reality.
I'm not saying it never works and I figure it probably works for most people most of the time but just sometimes the people who have rote-learned this stuff and who have all their little standard lines at the ready actually need to have the ability to deal with someone who is experiencing grief and loss, even if it is grief at what might have been, and the loss of what never was.
Ok so it's called cognitive behaviour therapy and it seems everyone swears by it. But just because it has an official sounding name and even has a nifty acronym (CBT) doesn't mean that it's not just shorthand for positive thinking.
Look I get that some people need positive thinking, I do. I get that thinking that you're a bad person and bad things always happen to you because you're a bad person may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But what my shrink didn't get was that sometimes bad things happen to you and it has nothing to do with your negative thinking and sometimes life does shitty things to you and to those around you and because you are sad or angry about those things does not mean that you are necessarily depressed (although you might be) or that you need a little pill (although maybe it would help) or that you just need to think more fucking positively and act in a way that conveys your belief that everything is actually fine. Sometimes you just need to be sad and maybe angry and sometimes you just have to keep going on with your everyday existence and you can be sad because you feel you have to pretend that things are fine and normal. And writing a list about why the things that you believe to be a disaster aren't really such a disaster is such a god-damn disrespectful thing to ask you to do and it invalidates your reality.
I'm not saying it never works and I figure it probably works for most people most of the time but just sometimes the people who have rote-learned this stuff and who have all their little standard lines at the ready actually need to have the ability to deal with someone who is experiencing grief and loss, even if it is grief at what might have been, and the loss of what never was.