spn poem: "silver dagger" (G)

[fannishliss]

title: "silver dagger"
author: fannishliss 
warnings: POEM!
spoilers: 6.11

summary:  a letter is received

“silver dagger”

mean girl touches the forgotten envelope
addressed, stamped, ready to go --
gathers it up, turns out the lights
but at the last thought, scrawls
he made it
before she locks the door

*

the whole world tunnels to the bold caps,
palms spring out in sweat--
today is her long day at work,
she won’t be home for an hour at least--
so, hiding in his room, insides clenching
through a chill, through a fever
he knifes open the envelope
and the words leap up to
sting and cut--

*
                    so proud
                                    safe
                         sorry
miss you grow
                        not your fault
good man
                    wish

*

shaking, blinking back the burn--
the envelope says he made it, so ...
but his throat hurts and he misses

the cuff so easy against his jaw,
the gravelled voice saying yo hand me that wrench--
a look now and then that shone through the ice of loss--

and he chokes against his fist
but he remembers the number--
and his heart stutters out
a word,  a name in thuds

*

dad?

*

and then
Dean
says, Ben. 
Hey, Ben.