MCU: "Therapy" (ch1/?)
title: Therapy
author: fannishliss
rating: eventually Adult (this chapter, gen)
pairings: Steve will become close to a number of characters, but this is ultimately Steve/Bucky. Secondary pairings include close friendships of Steve/Natasha and Steve/Sam; Natasha/Clint; Clint/Coulson; Tony/Pepper; Tony/Bruce; Fury/Hill. Sorry, no Thor. Past Steve/Peggy.
Summary: The War for the Future was fought between Shield Super Soldiers and serum-enhanced Hydran Agents. Shield Captain Steve Rogers spent twenty years in cryo on a lost Hydra base, awakening to find the War had been won, and the world had moved on without him. Now he has to learn to trust again, but Shield's best Therapists are all former Hydran Agents.
===
Steve sat stiffly on the luxurious sofa, candles glimmering around the darkened room in what he guessed was an attempt to soothe. A clean scent of lavender and maybe something lemony drifted through the air.
“Am I supposed to take my clothes off?” Steve asked.
“There’s no ‘supposed,’” Natasha said. She lounged in a large overstuffed chair no less luxurious than the sofa. Stark must really have loved Coulson’s project to set them up so nicely. Natasha’s green eyes flashed white, then she sighed. “Fury sent you. That man, I love him, but he is so clueless sometimes.”
“What? Why?” Steve retorted. “You don’t think I need Therapy?”
“Of course you need Therapy, just look at you.” Natasha’s piercing eyes sized him up in a way that reminded him all too much of fighting Hydrans in the field. He stiffened, his body’s fighting reflexes going combat ready despite his efforts to stay relaxed.
Natasha immediately averted her gaze. “Calm down,” she crooned, showing the flats of both her hands. In her soft cotton dress and bare feet, she looked so innocent and innocuous. Steve knew she had passed her psych evals and training for Therapy with flying colors or she wouldn’t be here amongst Coulson’s hand-picked team of Therapists. “The War’s been over for almost five years now, Cap, and I defected to Shield three years before that. I’m not the enemy.”
“I know that,” Steve said tightly. “I just…”
“You know it, but your body doesn’t,” Natasha murmured. “I know how it is.”
“Hydran Agents are almost as strong as Shield Soldiers in the field,” Steve said, “but Fury and Coulson have you all secreted away as Therapists. I don’t get it.”
“We go where we’re needed most,” Natasha said. “Besides. I owe a debt to Shield that isn’t yet balanced, maybe never will be. Whatever Shield needs from me - wherever I can do the most good - that’s where I’m going to go. So if Steve Rogers needs a friend, that’s what I’m going to be.”
“Is that what I need?” Steve asked bitterly, remembering everyone he’d lost. “A friend.”
“If that’s what you need me to be,” Natasha said. Her unsmiling face was clear and open, and Steve wondered at the rapid Hydran thought processes spinning behind her eyes. Would he ever be able to bring himself to trust one of them? Honestly, he didn’t know.
But maybe today was a place to start.
“Better to make a friend than to nurse an old enmity,” Steve said.
Natasha’s lips quirked. “Good words to live by,” she agreed. “So - you wanna watch a baseball game?”
The Dodgers had almost moved to California while he was on ice, so Steve had been fanatical about catching every game since he woke up, superstitious that his inattention had somehow contributed to the near-loss of his home town’s beloved team.
“What? How did you know-“
“Doesn’t take enhanced Hydran perception to know you’re a baseball freak, Rogers,” Natasha laughed. “Every one from here to the New Triskelion knows not to come between you and the Dodgers.”
Steve didn’t laugh though. “Tell me. What does Hydran perception tell you about me?”
Natasha averted her gaze again. “I’m not sure you’re ready for that yet.”
“Try me,” Steve said.
Natasha turned. Her face fell blank, and her chin titled slightly to one side. Her eyes rapidly flicked over him from top to bottom, flashing white just for a second as her serum-enhanced vision focused in on Steve.
Natasha looked at Steve and Steve looked back.
“You’re not sure I could take you in a fight. I’m not either, to be honest, and I wouldn’t like to try. But what’s sad, and this is why you’re here, right now, is that you’re still ready to fight, even though the War is over. You’re angry. You’re alone. You need a friend.”
Steve felt the anger flare up inside him and tried to tamp it down.
“It’s not you I’m angry with,” he said. “I’m sorry you’re getting the brunt of it.”
“It’s my job,” Natasha said. “Helping Soldiers adjust to peacetime - it’s a good job, I’ll take it.”
“I do need a friend,” Steve blurted. “But all my friends are dead.” Especially the one I need the most, he thought to himself with an edge of despair.
“I like you, Rogers,” Natasha said. “I may not be the one you need, but I hope you’ll come to trust me as a friend.”
Steve said nothing. Too many years in the field, fighting Hydra, were still too fresh in his mind, even though the War had been over for long enough now that a lot of veterans had been able to put their lives back together - or at least to start.
“Do you want to watch a ballgame or what, Rogers?” Natasha said, moving to sit next to him on the couch.
“Yeah,” Steve had to admit.
“May I Touch you?” Natasha asked.
The literature Fury had given him had explained that the former Agents used enhanced Touch along with their other enhanced perceptions in Therapy - but Therapists would always ask for explicit permission to Touch, even casually, and certainly before their Touch became sexual.
Steve laughed, nervously. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I read your profile. I can’t believe I’m willingly sitting on a couch with the infamous Black Widow, even considering letting you Touch me.”
Natasha was acknowledged to have been one of Hydra’s most powerful agents, and some analysts went so far as to argue that Natasha’s defection from Hydra may have been one of the turning points in Shield winning the War.
“I want to reassure you that our sessions are fully monitored and recorded by the resident AI,” Natasha said soothingly. “If you allow me to Touch you, I’ll be using a level one empathic depth only. I only want to help you relax and feel good for a change. How long has it been since you’ve slept more than a couple of hours?”
Steve barked a laugh and shook his head. “I almost never sleep, and when I do, it’s never for more than two hours.”
Natasha shook her head. “Steve, I know you’re probably the biggest success the Super Soldier program ever produced, but everyone needs to sleep.”
“And you’re going to make it all better for me, hm?” Steve said, with a wry face.
Natasha eyed him levelly. “I will, or maybe it will be Clint, or Sam, or Pepper, or someone else. We’ll find a match for you in Therapy, and even if it’s not me, I’ll still want to be your friend.”
Steve couldn’t help shaking his head a little at the idea, but something about Natasha was soothing, even if she hadn’t Touched him yet.
He laughed, a little hopeless, a little bitter. What did he have to lose?
“Jarvis?” he called out. He’d been introduced to the AI when he first came into the building for Therapy orientation.
“Yes, Captain Rogers?” a remarkably human-sounding voice calmly answered.
“I consent to casual Touch, empathic level one,” Steve said, looking into Natasha’s pale green eyes as he spoke.
“Noted,” Jarvis answered.
“Thank you, Steve,” Natasha said. “You won’t regret it.” Her eyes flashed almost imperceptibly as she lay her long, tapering fingers on the bare skin of his forearm.
At first nothing changed, but then Natasha turned on the game, which she must have recorded specially for Steve. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and some small part of the overwhelming load of grief and worry that had been dragging him down slipped away.
“Good,” Natasha said, and Steve found he didn’t mind her Touch as much as he’d feared he would.
author: fannishliss
rating: eventually Adult (this chapter, gen)
pairings: Steve will become close to a number of characters, but this is ultimately Steve/Bucky. Secondary pairings include close friendships of Steve/Natasha and Steve/Sam; Natasha/Clint; Clint/Coulson; Tony/Pepper; Tony/Bruce; Fury/Hill. Sorry, no Thor. Past Steve/Peggy.
Summary: The War for the Future was fought between Shield Super Soldiers and serum-enhanced Hydran Agents. Shield Captain Steve Rogers spent twenty years in cryo on a lost Hydra base, awakening to find the War had been won, and the world had moved on without him. Now he has to learn to trust again, but Shield's best Therapists are all former Hydran Agents.
===
Steve sat stiffly on the luxurious sofa, candles glimmering around the darkened room in what he guessed was an attempt to soothe. A clean scent of lavender and maybe something lemony drifted through the air.
“Am I supposed to take my clothes off?” Steve asked.
“There’s no ‘supposed,’” Natasha said. She lounged in a large overstuffed chair no less luxurious than the sofa. Stark must really have loved Coulson’s project to set them up so nicely. Natasha’s green eyes flashed white, then she sighed. “Fury sent you. That man, I love him, but he is so clueless sometimes.”
“What? Why?” Steve retorted. “You don’t think I need Therapy?”
“Of course you need Therapy, just look at you.” Natasha’s piercing eyes sized him up in a way that reminded him all too much of fighting Hydrans in the field. He stiffened, his body’s fighting reflexes going combat ready despite his efforts to stay relaxed.
Natasha immediately averted her gaze. “Calm down,” she crooned, showing the flats of both her hands. In her soft cotton dress and bare feet, she looked so innocent and innocuous. Steve knew she had passed her psych evals and training for Therapy with flying colors or she wouldn’t be here amongst Coulson’s hand-picked team of Therapists. “The War’s been over for almost five years now, Cap, and I defected to Shield three years before that. I’m not the enemy.”
“I know that,” Steve said tightly. “I just…”
“You know it, but your body doesn’t,” Natasha murmured. “I know how it is.”
“Hydran Agents are almost as strong as Shield Soldiers in the field,” Steve said, “but Fury and Coulson have you all secreted away as Therapists. I don’t get it.”
“We go where we’re needed most,” Natasha said. “Besides. I owe a debt to Shield that isn’t yet balanced, maybe never will be. Whatever Shield needs from me - wherever I can do the most good - that’s where I’m going to go. So if Steve Rogers needs a friend, that’s what I’m going to be.”
“Is that what I need?” Steve asked bitterly, remembering everyone he’d lost. “A friend.”
“If that’s what you need me to be,” Natasha said. Her unsmiling face was clear and open, and Steve wondered at the rapid Hydran thought processes spinning behind her eyes. Would he ever be able to bring himself to trust one of them? Honestly, he didn’t know.
But maybe today was a place to start.
“Better to make a friend than to nurse an old enmity,” Steve said.
Natasha’s lips quirked. “Good words to live by,” she agreed. “So - you wanna watch a baseball game?”
The Dodgers had almost moved to California while he was on ice, so Steve had been fanatical about catching every game since he woke up, superstitious that his inattention had somehow contributed to the near-loss of his home town’s beloved team.
“What? How did you know-“
“Doesn’t take enhanced Hydran perception to know you’re a baseball freak, Rogers,” Natasha laughed. “Every one from here to the New Triskelion knows not to come between you and the Dodgers.”
Steve didn’t laugh though. “Tell me. What does Hydran perception tell you about me?”
Natasha averted her gaze again. “I’m not sure you’re ready for that yet.”
“Try me,” Steve said.
Natasha turned. Her face fell blank, and her chin titled slightly to one side. Her eyes rapidly flicked over him from top to bottom, flashing white just for a second as her serum-enhanced vision focused in on Steve.
Natasha looked at Steve and Steve looked back.
“You’re not sure I could take you in a fight. I’m not either, to be honest, and I wouldn’t like to try. But what’s sad, and this is why you’re here, right now, is that you’re still ready to fight, even though the War is over. You’re angry. You’re alone. You need a friend.”
Steve felt the anger flare up inside him and tried to tamp it down.
“It’s not you I’m angry with,” he said. “I’m sorry you’re getting the brunt of it.”
“It’s my job,” Natasha said. “Helping Soldiers adjust to peacetime - it’s a good job, I’ll take it.”
“I do need a friend,” Steve blurted. “But all my friends are dead.” Especially the one I need the most, he thought to himself with an edge of despair.
“I like you, Rogers,” Natasha said. “I may not be the one you need, but I hope you’ll come to trust me as a friend.”
Steve said nothing. Too many years in the field, fighting Hydra, were still too fresh in his mind, even though the War had been over for long enough now that a lot of veterans had been able to put their lives back together - or at least to start.
“Do you want to watch a ballgame or what, Rogers?” Natasha said, moving to sit next to him on the couch.
“Yeah,” Steve had to admit.
“May I Touch you?” Natasha asked.
The literature Fury had given him had explained that the former Agents used enhanced Touch along with their other enhanced perceptions in Therapy - but Therapists would always ask for explicit permission to Touch, even casually, and certainly before their Touch became sexual.
Steve laughed, nervously. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I read your profile. I can’t believe I’m willingly sitting on a couch with the infamous Black Widow, even considering letting you Touch me.”
Natasha was acknowledged to have been one of Hydra’s most powerful agents, and some analysts went so far as to argue that Natasha’s defection from Hydra may have been one of the turning points in Shield winning the War.
“I want to reassure you that our sessions are fully monitored and recorded by the resident AI,” Natasha said soothingly. “If you allow me to Touch you, I’ll be using a level one empathic depth only. I only want to help you relax and feel good for a change. How long has it been since you’ve slept more than a couple of hours?”
Steve barked a laugh and shook his head. “I almost never sleep, and when I do, it’s never for more than two hours.”
Natasha shook her head. “Steve, I know you’re probably the biggest success the Super Soldier program ever produced, but everyone needs to sleep.”
“And you’re going to make it all better for me, hm?” Steve said, with a wry face.
Natasha eyed him levelly. “I will, or maybe it will be Clint, or Sam, or Pepper, or someone else. We’ll find a match for you in Therapy, and even if it’s not me, I’ll still want to be your friend.”
Steve couldn’t help shaking his head a little at the idea, but something about Natasha was soothing, even if she hadn’t Touched him yet.
He laughed, a little hopeless, a little bitter. What did he have to lose?
“Jarvis?” he called out. He’d been introduced to the AI when he first came into the building for Therapy orientation.
“Yes, Captain Rogers?” a remarkably human-sounding voice calmly answered.
“I consent to casual Touch, empathic level one,” Steve said, looking into Natasha’s pale green eyes as he spoke.
“Noted,” Jarvis answered.
“Thank you, Steve,” Natasha said. “You won’t regret it.” Her eyes flashed almost imperceptibly as she lay her long, tapering fingers on the bare skin of his forearm.
At first nothing changed, but then Natasha turned on the game, which she must have recorded specially for Steve. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and some small part of the overwhelming load of grief and worry that had been dragging him down slipped away.
“Good,” Natasha said, and Steve found he didn’t mind her Touch as much as he’d feared he would.