Comments | fangs_fur

fff_contest in fangs_fur_fey

Hooks

Apr 20, 2007 22:14

Hooks 229, 228, 227, 226, 225, 224, 223, and 222

Hook #229

Science Fiction

Jessie Connell can handle being kidnapped by a homeless man calling himself “Achilles.” An unemployed bartender, Jessie has had plenty of run-ins with eccentric criminals and low-lifes. But being taken back in time to 2500 B.C., where she must fight a sinister alien ( Read more... )

Comments 17

wow! princessnarr April 21 2007, 03:50:53 UTC

I'll post more in-depth comments tomorrow, but for now I just want to say WOW! The people who wrote these hooks are so lucky to have all the judges in this contest, and this judge in particular-- what fantastic, well-thought-out, and practical feedback. I am so impressed by the time and effort the judges have been investing in the hooks so far. I can't wait to read feedback on my own. THANK YOU, judges!

From the judge... princessnarr April 21 2007, 23:15:23 UTC

Thanks for your kind words about my comments. I feel very appreciated!

pickledherring April 21 2007, 06:33:51 UTC

I agree with princessnarr - what great feedback!

And this struck me as a great batch of hooks in general.

My favourite, the one I would buy right this moment if I could, is #229. Time travel, aliens, reincarnation, bartending - sounds fantastic to me! #223 sounds good as well, nice intrigue + dancing combo. ^^

229 Author pickledherring April 24 2007, 19:42:53 UTC

Thanks, Pickledherring. Your wonderful comments are helping me get through an awful week at work. It's good to know that *when* I do finally get this monster-of-a-story published, I'll already have one fan waiting...

BTW...Jessie also has an eccentric Navajo foster-mother and meets Bigfoot (aka "Enkidu").

csinman April 21 2007, 08:20:26 UTC

Hook #229, Hook #227, Hook #225, Hook #224, and Hook #222, I agreed closely with the judges. I want to wish you good luck in your revisions, and I hope you do well in the next contest you enter (or the next query you send). Thanks for sharing, everyone!

I had a few personal comments for these writers:

Hook #228

I was so worried the judge wasn't going to choose you when I started to read the "Notes," because even though I agree that the "allergies" part stuck out without a follow-up or explanation, I was "hooked," which is the point, right? I cannot wait to read this book, so I hope you get it published ASAP!

Hook #226

I am wagging an admonishing finger at you over "appal." Spellcheck is mandatory, my friend! The judge has some good points. Best wishes for your revisions.

Hook #223

"Russia .The Americans" gets the wagging finger as well. Punctuation checking is mandatory, my friend! Other than that, I also agree with the judge. Careful in the future, and good luck with the restructuring.

csinman April 21 2007, 15:38:43 UTC

You can hold the admonishing finger -- "appal" is Commonwealth spelling.

csinman April 21 2007, 18:11:19 UTC

And so it is! Thanks--I've ever seen it before.

aulus_poliutos April 21 2007, 19:11:50 UTC

Actually, I like 226. It has a Roman-ish feel to it, like Rome fighting tribes north-east of the Danube, Sauromates or Huns.

And I'm a total Roman Empire geek :)

heleninwales April 21 2007, 12:31:52 UTC

I just wanted to say big thank you to the judge for the comments on my hook (#225). They were extremely helpful and I will bear them in mind when I rewrite the hook and synopsis before sending more queries to agents or publishers. It's also interesting to read all the others. I think I'm beginning to see what works and what doesn't.

In the past I've always sent out synopsis plus 3 chapters, so this was my first attempt at a hook. It probably showed!

Anyway, thank you again to all of you for putting in the time and effort to make this contest so fascinating.

seconded wow anonymous April 21 2007, 12:59:57 UTC

The amount of time and effort the judges put into this particular set of hook analyses is incredibly impressive--and helpful to all of us, not just the hook authors here. So thanks.

And 228 is, so far, my favorite of the hooks that have been posted...aside from my own, of course. ;-) It's just the sort of thing that would pull me in, although I haven't read YA since I was a YA myself. Congratulations and good luck!

Re: seconded wow sphericaltime April 22 2007, 06:25:11 UTC

You're missing out then. I used to read and review books for the elementary school that my mother taught at.

It taught me that no matter how odd I felt standing in the YA section of my local borders as a 20-something, there are some things there that are worth reading.

I don't know why every book about tweens or kids has to be YA or elementary level. There are scads of books in that section that are engaging and complex, and only YA in the sense that they lack complex sexual tension.