Jan 19, 2011 00:31
Today, I was in a shopping plaza. It was one of the fancier plazas in the area, mostly specialty stores, like a children's toy shop, a specialty meat place, a wine accessory store, Starbucks, the sort of shopping plaza you get in a fairly wealthy area where the denizens (is this the right word?) sit amongst themselves, "We've got a grocery store, a video store, and privately-owned cafes. And we want to build up, but not in a way that would encourage lower classes to infiltrate the area. What can we add?"
I was navigating (circumnavigating -_-) my way out of the plaza, having just left Panera's, when I let a man and his truck out in front of me. I had been watching him, because I don't trust people due to Parking Lot Mentality*. This gentleman had just left an imported wine store. I watched him back out, drive twenty feet... and repark in front of the specialty meat place two stores down.
Really? I mean... Really? You can't manage to walk the twenty feet to the store, then the twenty feet back? You had to REPARK your fucking truck?
Ug.
*Average the IQs of an area. This is “A”. Now multiply A by the amount of free parking spaces available in the lot (F) over the amount of parking spaces overall (O). Now, take THAT number and subtract one point for each individual walking around the lot (I). Finally, multiply your result by the percentage of Escalades/Hummers/luxury vehicles to other cars in the lot (D, for “Douchebags”). The remaining number is the IQ people operate under when they’re driving in a parking lot. Not to be confused with PEDESTRIAN IQ in a parking lot, which is:
((A*(F/O)-I)*D)-20, give or take= Parking Lot Pedestrian IQ
(I’ve been reading too much Terry Pratchett LOLZ)
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I returned my overly-large Torrid boots today :( In lieu, I got a shrug-top to pair with my nicer tank-tops, and TWO PAIRS of shoes from Payless-- a nice pair of sandals and some slip-ons. I also bought two ounces of Teavana Assam Breeze herbal tea. And I plan on hitting up Fyrrinae online for eyeshadow. I -need- to treat myself just a little bit, or otherwise, what was the point of flushing my month of December down the retail drain?
soapbox,
shopping,
shoes,
bitching