(no subject)
Just got off the phone with Mum, who is in Hong Kong for her 40th year secondary school reunion. On Saturday, they went to visit St Paul's (their secondary school). Some of these people she haven't seen for probably 40 years, she sounded really happy (more so than in a long time) and she said everyone talked a lot, about their experiences, where they have been and sharing adolescent memories and retelling old stories. Tomorrow(later today), some of them are going to an organized tour to a part of China together for 4 days. They have this very intensive and busy program for reunion which last for 10 days. She said she was really tired after Saturday, but it sounds like she had a great time too. :)
The plan originally is for me to meet up with her in a month time, then we will go on organized tours to Europe and China (probably Silk Road) together. My ticket to HK has already been purchased, and it's quite cheap at $870AUD. She has been looking at tours and talking with her old classmates, and it turns out there are a number of people who would like to go travel together, specifically to Eastern Europe in September. Since I said I was going only because there was no one else to go with her, I was just trying to back out of it, offering go to another tour to another part of China with her, because the Europe tour is more expensive (~$2500AUD). I can afford it, and I have always wanted to visit Europe (and China too), but I wouldn't suffer if I didn't go, and there are obviously other people less fortunate. Mum offered to pay for me, but to me, that is really not much difference. If the ticket has not been bought already, I probably will not go at all. Overall, the trip will probably cost more than $5000AUD ($870 ticket + $1500 silk road tour + $2500 Europe + ...), that's more than anything I have spent in a month.
In the last few months, I have been thinking why it's hard for me to do anything for myself. This may be a twisted attempt to seem like a better person than I really am in my mind (and to others too), but my life subconsciously probably seems like a lost cause to me, and it's easier for me to be happy by watching other people being happy. That's one of the main reason why I check LJ religiously.
The other reason I sound rather unenthusiastic about this trip is from my last experience travelling, to New Zealand about two years ago. Last time, I actually felt a bit of crisis coming with the way I was and the job. Just before it, I actually wanted to cancel. We went for 3 weeks, took it really slow (second time to NZ). The scenery was spectacular, but I wandered around with no purpose, drifting, and got tired toward the end. Afterwards, I felt I didn't gain much from it, a bit empty, and it seemed like I wasted it. Since that time, I don't think there is much difference in me (I haven't really grown in that respect), so I am partially dreading that this will be a waste too. I do get excited at the prospect of seeing the sight (particularly the historic castles I read about in historical text in my youth), but ... like I wrote above.
Things I did lately
Went cycling earlier todayyesterday, and last week. Yesterday, went to a new trail by the Freeway and it was really nice, though I am really unfit and got pretty tired after 2 hours (with breaks). Last week, met some Kangaroos while cycling through local park. They stared at me after I stopped, I stared back. *g* There was a mother carrying a small kangaroo in her pouch. Unfortunately, I didn't bring my camera.
Went tutoring on Saturday for a friend. It's the same girl I tutored for two years ago, but didn't continue after I worked overseas last year. I was asked to teach her new material for Maths, but looking over some of her books and exercise, I found I have forgotten a lot of the formulas and terms, and couldn't really explain things clearly and properly. Didn't prepare much, wasn't as considerate with her during tutoring, and she said she got a bit confused, probably because I said things as I remembered them on the spot, and the sequence is probably confusing for someone learning the material for the first time. Well, try again next weekend, though I suspect I am no longer suitable to tutor her. On the other hand, it's better than getting paid tutoring in some ways.
A few weeks ago, I went to see the Japanese film, Nobody Knows. Here's a summary of the premise taken from this review:
Four siblings live happily with their mother in a small apartment in Tokyo. The children all have different fathers. They have never been to school. The very existence of three of them has been hidden from the landlord. One day, the mother leaves behind a little money and a note, asking her 12-year old boy to look after the others. And so begins the children's odysseys, a journey nobody knows.
I was expecting it to be really sad, but actually didn't really get close to shedding tears, probably says a lot about how emotionally detached I am. What stands out about it is how there is really no dramatic moment, everything just unfolds, a bit like a documentary (the story is fictional but inspired by true events). The performances from all the children were very natural. It's a very quiet film, little dialogue. The images, events and sequences were mostly ordinary, things that happened everyday (people walking along the street, Akira going shopping, street corner, the children eating and playing, ...) but they stayed with me. I would like to see it again, and get it in HK if I can.
Oh, this quote from Ebony, it's very relevant for me with my parents, though I don't seem to be able to do the second and third parts, not sure how to forgive, what it really means and what it takes.
The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.
-Aiden Nowlan
Erin(Miran) has a really cool story going to an Anna Nalick concert, and lots of great photos from it too. Go check it out! :)
The plan originally is for me to meet up with her in a month time, then we will go on organized tours to Europe and China (probably Silk Road) together. My ticket to HK has already been purchased, and it's quite cheap at $870AUD. She has been looking at tours and talking with her old classmates, and it turns out there are a number of people who would like to go travel together, specifically to Eastern Europe in September. Since I said I was going only because there was no one else to go with her, I was just trying to back out of it, offering go to another tour to another part of China with her, because the Europe tour is more expensive (~$2500AUD). I can afford it, and I have always wanted to visit Europe (and China too), but I wouldn't suffer if I didn't go, and there are obviously other people less fortunate. Mum offered to pay for me, but to me, that is really not much difference. If the ticket has not been bought already, I probably will not go at all. Overall, the trip will probably cost more than $5000AUD ($870 ticket + $1500 silk road tour + $2500 Europe + ...), that's more than anything I have spent in a month.
In the last few months, I have been thinking why it's hard for me to do anything for myself. This may be a twisted attempt to seem like a better person than I really am in my mind (and to others too), but my life subconsciously probably seems like a lost cause to me, and it's easier for me to be happy by watching other people being happy. That's one of the main reason why I check LJ religiously.
The other reason I sound rather unenthusiastic about this trip is from my last experience travelling, to New Zealand about two years ago. Last time, I actually felt a bit of crisis coming with the way I was and the job. Just before it, I actually wanted to cancel. We went for 3 weeks, took it really slow (second time to NZ). The scenery was spectacular, but I wandered around with no purpose, drifting, and got tired toward the end. Afterwards, I felt I didn't gain much from it, a bit empty, and it seemed like I wasted it. Since that time, I don't think there is much difference in me (I haven't really grown in that respect), so I am partially dreading that this will be a waste too. I do get excited at the prospect of seeing the sight (particularly the historic castles I read about in historical text in my youth), but ... like I wrote above.
Things I did lately
Went cycling earlier todayyesterday, and last week. Yesterday, went to a new trail by the Freeway and it was really nice, though I am really unfit and got pretty tired after 2 hours (with breaks). Last week, met some Kangaroos while cycling through local park. They stared at me after I stopped, I stared back. *g* There was a mother carrying a small kangaroo in her pouch. Unfortunately, I didn't bring my camera.
Went tutoring on Saturday for a friend. It's the same girl I tutored for two years ago, but didn't continue after I worked overseas last year. I was asked to teach her new material for Maths, but looking over some of her books and exercise, I found I have forgotten a lot of the formulas and terms, and couldn't really explain things clearly and properly. Didn't prepare much, wasn't as considerate with her during tutoring, and she said she got a bit confused, probably because I said things as I remembered them on the spot, and the sequence is probably confusing for someone learning the material for the first time. Well, try again next weekend, though I suspect I am no longer suitable to tutor her. On the other hand, it's better than getting paid tutoring in some ways.
A few weeks ago, I went to see the Japanese film, Nobody Knows. Here's a summary of the premise taken from this review:
Four siblings live happily with their mother in a small apartment in Tokyo. The children all have different fathers. They have never been to school. The very existence of three of them has been hidden from the landlord. One day, the mother leaves behind a little money and a note, asking her 12-year old boy to look after the others. And so begins the children's odysseys, a journey nobody knows.
I was expecting it to be really sad, but actually didn't really get close to shedding tears, probably says a lot about how emotionally detached I am. What stands out about it is how there is really no dramatic moment, everything just unfolds, a bit like a documentary (the story is fictional but inspired by true events). The performances from all the children were very natural. It's a very quiet film, little dialogue. The images, events and sequences were mostly ordinary, things that happened everyday (people walking along the street, Akira going shopping, street corner, the children eating and playing, ...) but they stayed with me. I would like to see it again, and get it in HK if I can.
Oh, this quote from Ebony, it's very relevant for me with my parents, though I don't seem to be able to do the second and third parts, not sure how to forgive, what it really means and what it takes.
The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.
-Aiden Nowlan
Erin(Miran) has a really cool story going to an Anna Nalick concert, and lots of great photos from it too. Go check it out! :)