Dear Amazon...
Dear Amazon,
I'm not meaning to seem ungrateful here - an online bookstore that recommends other books I might like is a wonderful idea, but right now I have two small problems with you. First, although you do have records of the books that I've bought in the past, you still suggest that I might like to buy them again. So far I haven't fallen for that one, but it's only a matter of time until I end up with a dozen copies of 'Creation Myths of Ancient Babylon' on my iPhone, isn't it?
Secondly, what on earth makes you think that I want to read books about vampires and/or werewolves? Why, Amazon? Have I ever bought such a book from you? No, of course not. Yet a good half of my recommended items contain one or both - and not in a good way. (Alright, I did buy the DVD of 'Underworld', but that's not the same at all, and you know it. Likewise 'The Silmarillion'.) You know perfectly well that I'm not a teenaged girl, and that the chances of me reading any 'dark romance' book are practically zero unless I'm being tortured.*
Let's take a quick look at my recent purchases, shall we? Ah yes, 'The 2 1/2 Pillars of Wisdom', by Alexander McCall Smith. A book about beadweaving techniques. Various and assorted cookery books. The biography of a crazy Arctic explorer. A novel by Trudi Canavan. Hundreds of free books, but definitely not including 'Dracula'. You see: no vampires or werewolves of any kind. So please Amazon, try a bit harder to find something that I'm actually interested in. Chances are I'll buy it!
Yours sincerely,
Lois.
*Note to MI5, CIA, etc.: Barney the Purple Dinosaur and waterboarding are so last decade. Try playing the Twilight audiobooks in the detainee's native language. Cruel and unusual, yes, but I'll bet it's effective.
I'm not meaning to seem ungrateful here - an online bookstore that recommends other books I might like is a wonderful idea, but right now I have two small problems with you. First, although you do have records of the books that I've bought in the past, you still suggest that I might like to buy them again. So far I haven't fallen for that one, but it's only a matter of time until I end up with a dozen copies of 'Creation Myths of Ancient Babylon' on my iPhone, isn't it?
Secondly, what on earth makes you think that I want to read books about vampires and/or werewolves? Why, Amazon? Have I ever bought such a book from you? No, of course not. Yet a good half of my recommended items contain one or both - and not in a good way. (Alright, I did buy the DVD of 'Underworld', but that's not the same at all, and you know it. Likewise 'The Silmarillion'.) You know perfectly well that I'm not a teenaged girl, and that the chances of me reading any 'dark romance' book are practically zero unless I'm being tortured.*
Let's take a quick look at my recent purchases, shall we? Ah yes, 'The 2 1/2 Pillars of Wisdom', by Alexander McCall Smith. A book about beadweaving techniques. Various and assorted cookery books. The biography of a crazy Arctic explorer. A novel by Trudi Canavan. Hundreds of free books, but definitely not including 'Dracula'. You see: no vampires or werewolves of any kind. So please Amazon, try a bit harder to find something that I'm actually interested in. Chances are I'll buy it!
Yours sincerely,
Lois.
*Note to MI5, CIA, etc.: Barney the Purple Dinosaur and waterboarding are so last decade. Try playing the Twilight audiobooks in the detainee's native language. Cruel and unusual, yes, but I'll bet it's effective.