#048 - Alice Cullen
Title: Love, Life, Meaning... Over
Fandom: Twilight
Characters: Alice Cullen POV
Prompt: Empty
Word Count: 2,200
Rating: PG
Summary: Jasper Hale & Alice Cullen are unconditionally in love. They were meant for each and what they have cannot be described. A life without each other cannot exist. Or can it? Jasper has been struggling with his newfound Vegetarian lifestyle with the Cullens. Every day he sees his family strengthen, even his Newborn sister Bella, and he struggles every single day. He has decided to join Peter & Charlotte. What will Alice do when she finds out? Will she stick by the love of her existence no matter what?
Disclaimer: This is a FanFic of the Twilight Saga, written by the marvellous Stephenie Meyer. Unless otherwise specified, none of the characters belong to me.
Notes: This is my first one! Yay!
Chapter 1: Goodbye
“Bella, when are you going to get used to this? Seriously, it should be second nature to you now.”
Bella and I were getting ready for our first day at a new high school. I love doing her hair and make-up and dressing her up, because she is as hopeless in that department as she was when she was human!
“Alice, I will never get used to this. You know I don’t like it, and yet you continue to torture me!”
I had to laugh at this. Other than the obvious changes, Bella was no different as a vampire. Emmett was so upset that he wouldn’t be able to make fun of Bella’s clumsiness and her blushing once she officially became a Cullen. But, in a way, that hadn’t changed.
She may not trip over her own feet or have blood rush into her cheeks, but she would still bite her lip when she was embarrassed and still hated it when we made a fuss over her.
“I’m almost done Bella, stop moving!”
“Will you girls hurry up? We can’t be late on our first day.” Emmett said from downstairs.
We decided to move to Alaska, close to Tanya’s family. It was time to move on from Forks, Washington, as everyone else was getting older and we weren’t. But it wasn’t easy. Jacob tried everything he could to make us stay. He couldn’t be away from Renesmee. But even he knew that it wasn’t possible for us to hang around in Forks any longer. He agreed that we could move as long as he could visit very often. Charlie too was upset to see us go, but Bella promised frequent visits.
“Ok, you’re all done. You are going to be the hottest girl in school!”
A hiss came from a room on the top floor. Rosalie. She knows that she is drop dead gorgeous, but she still needs to be reassured. A lot. I don’t know how Emmett can do it day in and day out. He must have to admire her on the hour every hour.
“Shut up Rosalie.” Edward snapped.
“Alice, I’m nervous.” As soon as the words were out, Edward and Jasper were right by Bella’s side.
Edward wrapped his arms around Bella’s waist and kissed her on the forehead. Jasper relieved her of all the nerves and made her feel serene and calm. He’s so caring and clever, I love him so much!
“I’m not nervous about that.” Bella said to Jasper, “I’m nervous about going to a new school like this and how everyone is going to react. Being... different.”
“Just ignore them, I do.” Edward explained, “Humans have an instinct to stay away from us and will believe that we are strange and nothing more. Well... most humans.”
Bella was never an ordinary human. When Edward did everything he could to keep her away, she moved closer and closer. Nothing he could do or say could scare her. It was true love.
“Let’s go.” Jasper took my hand and we all ran to the cars, saying goodbye to Carlisle, Esme and Renesmee on our way. Renesmee was sad that we were going to school without her. She desperately wanted to go to school and be normal, but we all knew that was impossible. People would know that she was very different. She would be a Grade 1 girl with the knowledge of a College student. Esme homeschooled her instead.
Now that there are 6 of us, we can’t all fit into Edward’s Volvo. So he and Bella drive to school in the Volvo together and the four of us go in a new car we had recently purchased. A Black Range Rover. We can’t go to high school in Alaska in my Porsche or Rosalie’s BMW. It’s too... what does Edward say? Conspicuous? Emmett’s Jeep won’t do either as people will notice that we don’t freeze driving in an open car through snow. Jasper loved it. He didn’t have a car of his own, there was no need for it. So this one is officially his. Now we each have our own car!
Once I was seated in the front seat of the Range Rover, I did a quick look into the future to check if there was any danger with Bella, with any of us. It seemed like a normal day at high school for us. Bella was going to be fine around all the human kids, there would be no problem what so ever!
“Everything’s fine! This is going to be a good day.” I reassured Jasper.
He seemed pleased with this, but I knew him better. He was thinking of his first day at high school as a Vampire. I needed to check the future every 5 minutes as his resistance waivered. He didn’t like that he was having so much trouble adjusting after all this time and Bella had no trouble turning her thirst off from the scent of humans on her first day as a New Born.
That day at school went by quite quickly. Everyone acted towards us as was expected. They kept their distance and didn’t bother us. They gasped at our appearance and wondered who we were. Nothing more than that and the gossip died down by lunch time. We knew the work, nothing was new to us. Except maybe to Bella, but she had us there to give her the answers.
Later that night I was looking into the future at my schedule for the rest of that week. Everything seemed normal. High school for the next four days, Edward playing his piano, me designing some new dresses which is always fun, Esme planning the cottage she will build Edward, Bella & Renesmee, and Jasper...
I gasped at the vision I saw.
“What is he doing?” Edward asked, he saw the vision too from reading my mind.
“I... I don’t know. I don’t understand.”
“Alice? What did you see?” Jasper asked, suddenly by my side he held my hand.
I wasn’t sure whether to tell Jasper the vision I saw or not. I thought that maybe if I didn’t tell him, he wouldn’t think about it and the future would change. I had to hold on to that hope, it was all I could do.
“Emmett finally wins a wrestling match against Bella, that’s all.” I lied.
“Sweet! When?” Emmett was very happy with the lie. He had been trying almost every day to beat Bella. She was still stronger than him due to her New Born strength. We all knew it wouldn’t last though.
“I don’t know... that’s not clear yet. Hey Edward, are you ready to go hunting?” I needed to get Edward alone and far enough away from everyone that we could talk without them hearing.
We ran south and didn’t stop running till we were out of hearing range and knew that no-one tried to follow us.
We stopped and turned to face each other. For the first time in centuries I... I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say or where to begin. Neither did Edward. We just looked at each other, until my knees gave way and I collapsed to the ground.
Edward appeared by my side and held me into his chest, like the protective big brother he was. If Vampires could cry, I would have been sobbing. But instead, I made sob like noises and my it felt like there were prickles behind my eyes.
“How can he do this to me Edward? How can he leave me? I thought he loved me.”
“He does love you Alice. More than anything and anyone in the world.”
“Then why is he going to leave? He’s not going to ask me to go with him. He’s not even going to say... goodbye.” I stumbled for a millisecond on the last word, only noticeable to our kind.
“Because I don’t want you to leave your family. I know if I ask you to come with me, you will. You’ll give up everything for me and I cannot have that.” Jasper came out from behind a tree, he had followed us here, by making sure Edward and I felt like we were alone he was hidden.
“Why are you leaving in the first place?” I stood up and ran to him. I held his hands and was so afraid to let go. I could not let go.
“I’m not coping Alice. You know that. Look at Bella, she has no trouble at all fitting into this lifestyle, and here I am still trying to stop myself from killing humans. This is not the lifestyle for me.”
We knew this was true. We knew he was struggling worse than any of ever did, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do it. But I was not going to admit that when it was his reasoning to leave.
“Bella is an exceptional case. We are all shocked at her restraint. We all had trouble when we first started. All of us.”
“I can’t Alice. I just... can’t. Peter and Charlotte have offered for me to join them. I leave tonight.”
Peter and Charlotte. I knew there was a reason why I did not like them. Some gut instinct that told me they weren’t to be trusted. Taking Jasper away from me, offering his old lifestyle back to him, just reassured my initial doubts.
“Please Jasper. Don’t go, don’t leave me. I love you.”
“I love you too, more than you will ever know. You are the reason for my existence and it kills me to leave you, I don’t know how I am going to survive. But I will visit, constantly. I will never, ever forget you.”
It felt like my insides were ripping. It felt like my dead heart had just been shattered to a million tiny pieces. I could not lose him, we could not be apart.
“I’ll come with you. We can both visit our family regularly. I’ll do anything for you.”
“I know that. Which is why you can’t come.”
“I can’t live without you.”
“Yes, you can. I know you can. You will see.”
Jasper wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. He studied my face like he was memorising it. He drew a deep breath in and I noticed that he was sobbing too.
“You are the best thing to ever happen to me. But I need you to live. I need you to be happy for me, for you and for our family. Keep going as you are, you are amazing. Bella needs you, Esme needs you.”
“But I need you.”
“I know. We will be together again soon, I promise.”
He kissed me passionately and with one last look, he ran away.
“Oh God.” I collapsed to the ground again.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. All hope was lost. My life was... nothing. Empty. Just like that night centuries ago I woke to find myself alone in darkness. I couldn’t go on without him, there was no way.
I saw a vision, it was Jasper. He was leaving a letter for me on our dresser.
“Let’s go.” Edward said as he pulled me up. I didn’t need to tell him, he had read my mind and saw it himself.
We ran as fast as we could go. I ran straight past my waiting family to our bedroom. They didn’t know anything, Jasper had left without saying goodbye to them too. They had no idea what was happening.
As my vision showed me, a letter was waiting for me on our dresser. I ripped the envelope open and read it to myself.
My beautiful Alice,
I am so sorry.
I will forever regret the pain my actions will cause you. I wish there was another way, but I am not coping. I cannot keep putting our family through this. It kills me that leaving you is the only solution.
But you are strong. You can continue without me. You have so much love and support from our family. Listen to them, they will help you when I cannot.
You are the one who holds the key to my heart. I will never take for granted the true love we share. Know that a second will never pass when I do not think of you. You are my everything.
When I am ready, I will come back to you. No matter where in the world you are, I will find you. And we will be reunited, forever.
My still heart is broken and will never be complete without you.
I love you more than words can express.
Be strong. Be beautiful. Be Alice.
Love Always & Forever,
Jasper
Esme was the first to be by my side. Edward had read the letter aloud as he saw it in my mind. Everyone now knows what had happened.
“What am I going to do Esme? How am I going to get through this?”
“I promise it will be okay. We’ll all get through this together.”
Fandom: Twilight
Characters: Alice Cullen POV
Prompt: Empty
Word Count: 2,200
Rating: PG
Summary: Jasper Hale & Alice Cullen are unconditionally in love. They were meant for each and what they have cannot be described. A life without each other cannot exist. Or can it? Jasper has been struggling with his newfound Vegetarian lifestyle with the Cullens. Every day he sees his family strengthen, even his Newborn sister Bella, and he struggles every single day. He has decided to join Peter & Charlotte. What will Alice do when she finds out? Will she stick by the love of her existence no matter what?
Disclaimer: This is a FanFic of the Twilight Saga, written by the marvellous Stephenie Meyer. Unless otherwise specified, none of the characters belong to me.
Notes: This is my first one! Yay!
Chapter 1: Goodbye
“Bella, when are you going to get used to this? Seriously, it should be second nature to you now.”
Bella and I were getting ready for our first day at a new high school. I love doing her hair and make-up and dressing her up, because she is as hopeless in that department as she was when she was human!
“Alice, I will never get used to this. You know I don’t like it, and yet you continue to torture me!”
I had to laugh at this. Other than the obvious changes, Bella was no different as a vampire. Emmett was so upset that he wouldn’t be able to make fun of Bella’s clumsiness and her blushing once she officially became a Cullen. But, in a way, that hadn’t changed.
She may not trip over her own feet or have blood rush into her cheeks, but she would still bite her lip when she was embarrassed and still hated it when we made a fuss over her.
“I’m almost done Bella, stop moving!”
“Will you girls hurry up? We can’t be late on our first day.” Emmett said from downstairs.
We decided to move to Alaska, close to Tanya’s family. It was time to move on from Forks, Washington, as everyone else was getting older and we weren’t. But it wasn’t easy. Jacob tried everything he could to make us stay. He couldn’t be away from Renesmee. But even he knew that it wasn’t possible for us to hang around in Forks any longer. He agreed that we could move as long as he could visit very often. Charlie too was upset to see us go, but Bella promised frequent visits.
“Ok, you’re all done. You are going to be the hottest girl in school!”
A hiss came from a room on the top floor. Rosalie. She knows that she is drop dead gorgeous, but she still needs to be reassured. A lot. I don’t know how Emmett can do it day in and day out. He must have to admire her on the hour every hour.
“Shut up Rosalie.” Edward snapped.
“Alice, I’m nervous.” As soon as the words were out, Edward and Jasper were right by Bella’s side.
Edward wrapped his arms around Bella’s waist and kissed her on the forehead. Jasper relieved her of all the nerves and made her feel serene and calm. He’s so caring and clever, I love him so much!
“I’m not nervous about that.” Bella said to Jasper, “I’m nervous about going to a new school like this and how everyone is going to react. Being... different.”
“Just ignore them, I do.” Edward explained, “Humans have an instinct to stay away from us and will believe that we are strange and nothing more. Well... most humans.”
Bella was never an ordinary human. When Edward did everything he could to keep her away, she moved closer and closer. Nothing he could do or say could scare her. It was true love.
“Let’s go.” Jasper took my hand and we all ran to the cars, saying goodbye to Carlisle, Esme and Renesmee on our way. Renesmee was sad that we were going to school without her. She desperately wanted to go to school and be normal, but we all knew that was impossible. People would know that she was very different. She would be a Grade 1 girl with the knowledge of a College student. Esme homeschooled her instead.
Now that there are 6 of us, we can’t all fit into Edward’s Volvo. So he and Bella drive to school in the Volvo together and the four of us go in a new car we had recently purchased. A Black Range Rover. We can’t go to high school in Alaska in my Porsche or Rosalie’s BMW. It’s too... what does Edward say? Conspicuous? Emmett’s Jeep won’t do either as people will notice that we don’t freeze driving in an open car through snow. Jasper loved it. He didn’t have a car of his own, there was no need for it. So this one is officially his. Now we each have our own car!
Once I was seated in the front seat of the Range Rover, I did a quick look into the future to check if there was any danger with Bella, with any of us. It seemed like a normal day at high school for us. Bella was going to be fine around all the human kids, there would be no problem what so ever!
“Everything’s fine! This is going to be a good day.” I reassured Jasper.
He seemed pleased with this, but I knew him better. He was thinking of his first day at high school as a Vampire. I needed to check the future every 5 minutes as his resistance waivered. He didn’t like that he was having so much trouble adjusting after all this time and Bella had no trouble turning her thirst off from the scent of humans on her first day as a New Born.
That day at school went by quite quickly. Everyone acted towards us as was expected. They kept their distance and didn’t bother us. They gasped at our appearance and wondered who we were. Nothing more than that and the gossip died down by lunch time. We knew the work, nothing was new to us. Except maybe to Bella, but she had us there to give her the answers.
Later that night I was looking into the future at my schedule for the rest of that week. Everything seemed normal. High school for the next four days, Edward playing his piano, me designing some new dresses which is always fun, Esme planning the cottage she will build Edward, Bella & Renesmee, and Jasper...
I gasped at the vision I saw.
“What is he doing?” Edward asked, he saw the vision too from reading my mind.
“I... I don’t know. I don’t understand.”
“Alice? What did you see?” Jasper asked, suddenly by my side he held my hand.
I wasn’t sure whether to tell Jasper the vision I saw or not. I thought that maybe if I didn’t tell him, he wouldn’t think about it and the future would change. I had to hold on to that hope, it was all I could do.
“Emmett finally wins a wrestling match against Bella, that’s all.” I lied.
“Sweet! When?” Emmett was very happy with the lie. He had been trying almost every day to beat Bella. She was still stronger than him due to her New Born strength. We all knew it wouldn’t last though.
“I don’t know... that’s not clear yet. Hey Edward, are you ready to go hunting?” I needed to get Edward alone and far enough away from everyone that we could talk without them hearing.
We ran south and didn’t stop running till we were out of hearing range and knew that no-one tried to follow us.
We stopped and turned to face each other. For the first time in centuries I... I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say or where to begin. Neither did Edward. We just looked at each other, until my knees gave way and I collapsed to the ground.
Edward appeared by my side and held me into his chest, like the protective big brother he was. If Vampires could cry, I would have been sobbing. But instead, I made sob like noises and my it felt like there were prickles behind my eyes.
“How can he do this to me Edward? How can he leave me? I thought he loved me.”
“He does love you Alice. More than anything and anyone in the world.”
“Then why is he going to leave? He’s not going to ask me to go with him. He’s not even going to say... goodbye.” I stumbled for a millisecond on the last word, only noticeable to our kind.
“Because I don’t want you to leave your family. I know if I ask you to come with me, you will. You’ll give up everything for me and I cannot have that.” Jasper came out from behind a tree, he had followed us here, by making sure Edward and I felt like we were alone he was hidden.
“Why are you leaving in the first place?” I stood up and ran to him. I held his hands and was so afraid to let go. I could not let go.
“I’m not coping Alice. You know that. Look at Bella, she has no trouble at all fitting into this lifestyle, and here I am still trying to stop myself from killing humans. This is not the lifestyle for me.”
We knew this was true. We knew he was struggling worse than any of ever did, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do it. But I was not going to admit that when it was his reasoning to leave.
“Bella is an exceptional case. We are all shocked at her restraint. We all had trouble when we first started. All of us.”
“I can’t Alice. I just... can’t. Peter and Charlotte have offered for me to join them. I leave tonight.”
Peter and Charlotte. I knew there was a reason why I did not like them. Some gut instinct that told me they weren’t to be trusted. Taking Jasper away from me, offering his old lifestyle back to him, just reassured my initial doubts.
“Please Jasper. Don’t go, don’t leave me. I love you.”
“I love you too, more than you will ever know. You are the reason for my existence and it kills me to leave you, I don’t know how I am going to survive. But I will visit, constantly. I will never, ever forget you.”
It felt like my insides were ripping. It felt like my dead heart had just been shattered to a million tiny pieces. I could not lose him, we could not be apart.
“I’ll come with you. We can both visit our family regularly. I’ll do anything for you.”
“I know that. Which is why you can’t come.”
“I can’t live without you.”
“Yes, you can. I know you can. You will see.”
Jasper wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. He studied my face like he was memorising it. He drew a deep breath in and I noticed that he was sobbing too.
“You are the best thing to ever happen to me. But I need you to live. I need you to be happy for me, for you and for our family. Keep going as you are, you are amazing. Bella needs you, Esme needs you.”
“But I need you.”
“I know. We will be together again soon, I promise.”
He kissed me passionately and with one last look, he ran away.
“Oh God.” I collapsed to the ground again.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. All hope was lost. My life was... nothing. Empty. Just like that night centuries ago I woke to find myself alone in darkness. I couldn’t go on without him, there was no way.
I saw a vision, it was Jasper. He was leaving a letter for me on our dresser.
“Let’s go.” Edward said as he pulled me up. I didn’t need to tell him, he had read my mind and saw it himself.
We ran as fast as we could go. I ran straight past my waiting family to our bedroom. They didn’t know anything, Jasper had left without saying goodbye to them too. They had no idea what was happening.
As my vision showed me, a letter was waiting for me on our dresser. I ripped the envelope open and read it to myself.
My beautiful Alice,
I am so sorry.
I will forever regret the pain my actions will cause you. I wish there was another way, but I am not coping. I cannot keep putting our family through this. It kills me that leaving you is the only solution.
But you are strong. You can continue without me. You have so much love and support from our family. Listen to them, they will help you when I cannot.
You are the one who holds the key to my heart. I will never take for granted the true love we share. Know that a second will never pass when I do not think of you. You are my everything.
When I am ready, I will come back to you. No matter where in the world you are, I will find you. And we will be reunited, forever.
My still heart is broken and will never be complete without you.
I love you more than words can express.
Be strong. Be beautiful. Be Alice.
Love Always & Forever,
Jasper
Esme was the first to be by my side. Edward had read the letter aloud as he saw it in my mind. Everyone now knows what had happened.
“What am I going to do Esme? How am I going to get through this?”
“I promise it will be okay. We’ll all get through this together.”