Lovely Complex Risa Koizumi/Atsushi Otani #84. He
Fandom: Lovely Complex - (Anime/Manga)
Characters: Risa Koizumi and Atsushi Otani
Word Count: 412
Prompt/Table: 84. He
Rating: G
Synopsis: Risa is aware that her love for him is weird.
There are days that I wish that this love of mine did not exist. I know we are seen as incompatible because of how we look like. I am a tall girl and he is a short boy. It is the same emotion of awkwardness that arises as when the couple is a skinny boy with a fat girl or a beauty with a geek.
He knows how we look like together. He even asked Nakao-chi whether or not we would look comical together if we kiss. And I am scared out of my wits that one day I will lose all my patience. I am scared that one day something inside me will break because this fear and pain inside me is unbearable to carry for long.
Every time he looks at me and smile I feel as if I am the happiest person on this planet. I want to run and laugh because I am so full of energy. Yet, seconds later his smile freezes and his characteristics turn cold as he looks at me as if I am just another acquaintance.
At that moment I feel so scared and my heart thumps loudly, my throat feels dry and I just wish I was a little girl again so that I could run and hide to a world where boys like Otani do not exist.
Otani is one of those boys... Perfect despite his flaws. He is short, and dense as a brick, and sometimes he is so insensitive he makes me boil in pure anger. And on the other hand he can be so sensitive to my feelings, he can make me burst into laughter and he is so tall to my eyes that I am oblivious of any other guy but him.
As for myself... I keep pretending I am an idiot. I shout at him. I get angry; I get cocky because I am so scared. I am afraid that if I reveal this other self of mine - my shy girlish self - he will get scared out of his wits and run away, because being the gentleman that he is he will think he is insensitive towards my feeling.
So this love of mine stands still. The vows of love I want to utter get wasted away on moments of friendship. And I am the strong idiot that holds on to some glimpses where he is mine and mine alone. For this is Risa’s way of loving.
This piece of mine is taking place when Risa is on the school’s roof, after she hits Otani with the box with the honmei chocolate.