Life after Death
This story was supposed to be more romantic, more sweet, more light, but I think it's somehow dark and I'm a bit scared by the fact that I wrote this....strange...
Her hands folded themselves around her handlebars and she forced her fingers to grab the brakes and her feet to release the pedals. She was too late and she knew it. She didn’t know if it was her fault or not. She didn’t know if she missed a red traffic light, a sign or something else. She didn’t know if the car came from the right or the left. She didn’t know why she didn’t see it coming. She just knew she was too late. Too late to steer to the other direction, too late to brake, too late to do anything to prevent what was coming.
The bright lights of the car blinded her eyes and she felt how her bike was hit. She tried to protect her head with her arms, but it was useless. She fell down and knew there was no way to survive this. The car drove too fast, the impact was too big, the street too close. She would break all her bones, including the ones she needed to stay alive. In a classic moment of almost dying she saw all her memories at once. The happy ones, the sad ones, the angry ones, the forgotten ones. She was twenty-five years old and this was it. The end of the life that had only begun too recently.
She waited until her last breath would leave her mouth, until her bones would crack, until her heart would stop beating, until her spine would break. She waited for the dark or the light or whatever happens when you’re dying, but there was just an endless nothing. No sound, no light. Just endless nothing confusing her. She was dying. She was supposed to see her own body while flying to the light. She was supposed to leave this world, to move on to the next one. She never believed there would be nothing after death, but all of a sudden she wasn’t that sure anymore.
“Are you all right?” A soft voice whispered in her ears, being the only sound in the silence. “You seem a bit confused, let me help you.” She opened her eyes to see where that voice was coming from but she saw nothing but endless nothing.
“Who are you?” She tried to focus and saw how a shadow kneeled besides her. Now she knew where to look the shadow became clearer and clearer, showing a pair of pretty dark blue eyes and a pair of big black wings.
“I’m here to guide you from this world to the next.”
His voice was more singing than speaking and she met a smile around his lips like he was trying to hide his happiness but didn’t manage. He was pretty, prettier than someone like him should be. There was a twinkling in his eyes that seemed full of life, instead that he had nothing to do with being alive. He was beautifully more alive than she was at the moment and for the first time she felt the urge to fight. She wanted to be alive too.
“An Angel of Death...” She whispered and shook her head. “Is there nothing I can do to change this? Can’t you guide me back or something?” He didn’t answer and she sighed. “You know, don’t you think I’m a bit too young to die?” The angel smiled a painful smile and bowed his head. “Look, I know that some people die much too young and I know that is life, but...I haven’t even lived!” She felt her old dreams returning, her passion, her fire and her will to make those dreams come true. “I’ve never had the chance to make a dream come true!”
She started to get a bit hopeless, knowing that there was probably nothing that would help to change her fate. “If you’ll help me to get back, I’ll promise I’ll grab that second chance. I’ll promise I’d fight for those dreams, go for it. I’ll promise I won’t complain when I see you again, won’t beg again. Just...give me that second chance! There is so much I still have to do, still have to feel.” She felt the tears on her cheeks and didn’t realize she had been crying while thinking about all the missed chances.
“It’s hard to change the fate’s design...” His voice sounded soft and tender, like he was really searching his mind for a solution, a way to help her.
“Fate’s design?” She started to get angry, overwhelmed by all the emotions and regret she was feeling. “I don’t believe it was my fate to die so soon! What sense would it make to let me dream about prince charming? Knights in shining armor? Soulmate? That one boy that could fill that hole in my heart? What sense would it make to dream about something and never even get a glimpse of it?”
She felt his hand on her arm and knew he must hate his job right now. “I don’t ask much...I just ask my chance to feel that special feeling before I die.” She never realized how badly she wanted this. She never realized how hard she should have fought for it. She never realized that it was possible that there was no tomorrow, no second chance, no later. She never realized that if you had a dream you had to fight for it. She never realized that if you wanted a prince you had to go and find him. He wouldn’t walk by, he wouldn’t come to you, waiting wouldn’t magically lead him to you. She had to search for him, she wanted to search for him. She needed that second chance.
“You ask me to bring you back from death...you might think it’s not that much, but it is.” He tried to sound calming and she was annoyed by his compassion and the sad look in his eyes.
“I’m not dead, yet...” She was stubborn and not willing to let go. She had to try, try until he would give in or would lift her up and force her to the other world. There was no other option. Not for her. Not right now.
He smiled an annoying smile and shook his head. “No, technically they are still fighting to get you back...” He hesitated for a while and she saw the doubt in his eyes. “And technically I can lead you back...” He hesitated again and she had the feeling there was more to his doubts than met her eye.
“Than just do it, please?” He sighed and she saw how he took the decision before he told her.
“Don’t waste it...” He grabbed her hand and helped her to stand up. He gently directed her through the endless nothing. She didn’t dare to say a word. She didn’t know where they were going. Were they going back? Was she getting her second chance? Or was he leading her where she should actually be lead to? She followed him, regretting all her fighting, screaming and crying. It wasn’t his fault she died. He didn’t design her fate.
“You’ll have to go the last steps by yourself. I brought you as far as I could.” He stood still and turned around to look into her eyes. She nodded.
“Thank You...” He smiled and pressed his hands against her cheeks.
“Live your dreams and please, don’t make me do this again when your next time is up.” She nodded again and even managed to smile.
“I promise I won’t try to beg for a third chance when my next time is up. And I promise I’ll make sure I felt what I had to feel before I’ll see you again.” His hands let her go and she felt how he pushed her a little bit forward. “Thank You...Thank You so much, I won’t forget this!” She smiled and felt more alive than ever when she crossed the line back to life.
Of course you will forget. You have to. You can’t remember death while being alive. Not even when the thing you dream of was right in front of you. I thought I would finally have you close to me. I thought we could finally be complete. I thought your soul finally found it’s way back to me. But I’ll wait a little longer. I’ll wait until you know that what you’re looking for can only be found with me. I’ll wait until you’re ready to realize that a soulmate can’t always be found on earth. One day you’ll know, one day you’ll learn and sooner than you think fate will restore it’s design. But for now I’ll let you go, even though it breaks my heart, even though it crushes my soul, even though it hurts. I’ll let you go because sometimes you need to meet people twice before you realize who they really are. I’ll be waiting for you, I’ll be longing for you and I’ll be patient. I’ll let you go, because my soul recognized his other half and made me love you.
Her hands folded themselves around her handlebars and she forced her fingers to grab the brakes and her feet to release the pedals. She was too late and she knew it. She didn’t know if it was her fault or not. She didn’t know if she missed a red traffic light, a sign or something else. She didn’t know if the car came from the right or the left. She didn’t know why she didn’t see it coming. She just knew she was too late. Too late to steer to the other direction, too late to brake, too late to do anything to prevent what was coming.
The bright lights of the car blinded her eyes and she felt how her bike was hit. She tried to protect her head with her arms, but it was useless. She fell down and knew there was no way to survive this. The car drove too fast, the impact was too big, the street too close. She would break all her bones, including the ones she needed to stay alive. In a classic moment of almost dying she saw all her memories at once. The happy ones, the sad ones, the angry ones, the forgotten ones. She was twenty-five years old and this was it. The end of the life that had only begun too recently.
She waited until her last breath would leave her mouth, until her bones would crack, until her heart would stop beating, until her spine would break. She waited for the dark or the light or whatever happens when you’re dying, but there was just an endless nothing. No sound, no light. Just endless nothing confusing her. She was dying. She was supposed to see her own body while flying to the light. She was supposed to leave this world, to move on to the next one. She never believed there would be nothing after death, but all of a sudden she wasn’t that sure anymore.
“Are you all right?” A soft voice whispered in her ears, being the only sound in the silence. “You seem a bit confused, let me help you.” She opened her eyes to see where that voice was coming from but she saw nothing but endless nothing.
“Who are you?” She tried to focus and saw how a shadow kneeled besides her. Now she knew where to look the shadow became clearer and clearer, showing a pair of pretty dark blue eyes and a pair of big black wings.
“I’m here to guide you from this world to the next.”
His voice was more singing than speaking and she met a smile around his lips like he was trying to hide his happiness but didn’t manage. He was pretty, prettier than someone like him should be. There was a twinkling in his eyes that seemed full of life, instead that he had nothing to do with being alive. He was beautifully more alive than she was at the moment and for the first time she felt the urge to fight. She wanted to be alive too.
“An Angel of Death...” She whispered and shook her head. “Is there nothing I can do to change this? Can’t you guide me back or something?” He didn’t answer and she sighed. “You know, don’t you think I’m a bit too young to die?” The angel smiled a painful smile and bowed his head. “Look, I know that some people die much too young and I know that is life, but...I haven’t even lived!” She felt her old dreams returning, her passion, her fire and her will to make those dreams come true. “I’ve never had the chance to make a dream come true!”
She started to get a bit hopeless, knowing that there was probably nothing that would help to change her fate. “If you’ll help me to get back, I’ll promise I’ll grab that second chance. I’ll promise I’d fight for those dreams, go for it. I’ll promise I won’t complain when I see you again, won’t beg again. Just...give me that second chance! There is so much I still have to do, still have to feel.” She felt the tears on her cheeks and didn’t realize she had been crying while thinking about all the missed chances.
“It’s hard to change the fate’s design...” His voice sounded soft and tender, like he was really searching his mind for a solution, a way to help her.
“Fate’s design?” She started to get angry, overwhelmed by all the emotions and regret she was feeling. “I don’t believe it was my fate to die so soon! What sense would it make to let me dream about prince charming? Knights in shining armor? Soulmate? That one boy that could fill that hole in my heart? What sense would it make to dream about something and never even get a glimpse of it?”
She felt his hand on her arm and knew he must hate his job right now. “I don’t ask much...I just ask my chance to feel that special feeling before I die.” She never realized how badly she wanted this. She never realized how hard she should have fought for it. She never realized that it was possible that there was no tomorrow, no second chance, no later. She never realized that if you had a dream you had to fight for it. She never realized that if you wanted a prince you had to go and find him. He wouldn’t walk by, he wouldn’t come to you, waiting wouldn’t magically lead him to you. She had to search for him, she wanted to search for him. She needed that second chance.
“You ask me to bring you back from death...you might think it’s not that much, but it is.” He tried to sound calming and she was annoyed by his compassion and the sad look in his eyes.
“I’m not dead, yet...” She was stubborn and not willing to let go. She had to try, try until he would give in or would lift her up and force her to the other world. There was no other option. Not for her. Not right now.
He smiled an annoying smile and shook his head. “No, technically they are still fighting to get you back...” He hesitated for a while and she saw the doubt in his eyes. “And technically I can lead you back...” He hesitated again and she had the feeling there was more to his doubts than met her eye.
“Than just do it, please?” He sighed and she saw how he took the decision before he told her.
“Don’t waste it...” He grabbed her hand and helped her to stand up. He gently directed her through the endless nothing. She didn’t dare to say a word. She didn’t know where they were going. Were they going back? Was she getting her second chance? Or was he leading her where she should actually be lead to? She followed him, regretting all her fighting, screaming and crying. It wasn’t his fault she died. He didn’t design her fate.
“You’ll have to go the last steps by yourself. I brought you as far as I could.” He stood still and turned around to look into her eyes. She nodded.
“Thank You...” He smiled and pressed his hands against her cheeks.
“Live your dreams and please, don’t make me do this again when your next time is up.” She nodded again and even managed to smile.
“I promise I won’t try to beg for a third chance when my next time is up. And I promise I’ll make sure I felt what I had to feel before I’ll see you again.” His hands let her go and she felt how he pushed her a little bit forward. “Thank You...Thank You so much, I won’t forget this!” She smiled and felt more alive than ever when she crossed the line back to life.
Of course you will forget. You have to. You can’t remember death while being alive. Not even when the thing you dream of was right in front of you. I thought I would finally have you close to me. I thought we could finally be complete. I thought your soul finally found it’s way back to me. But I’ll wait a little longer. I’ll wait until you know that what you’re looking for can only be found with me. I’ll wait until you’re ready to realize that a soulmate can’t always be found on earth. One day you’ll know, one day you’ll learn and sooner than you think fate will restore it’s design. But for now I’ll let you go, even though it breaks my heart, even though it crushes my soul, even though it hurts. I’ll let you go because sometimes you need to meet people twice before you realize who they really are. I’ll be waiting for you, I’ll be longing for you and I’ll be patient. I’ll let you go, because my soul recognized his other half and made me love you.