Projection
If we read something, we paint all the words with our own experiences, own opinions and own views. If we hear something, we paint all the words with our own experiences, own opinions and own views. If we watch something, we paint all the images with our own experiences, own opinions and own views. We humans are incapable of reading something the way it’s written. Hearing something the way its said and viewing something the way it’s made. That’s what makes us unique. That’s what makes us human.
If we read, hear or see something that’s connected to positive feelings, we’ll most likely paint everything in brighter and more positive colors. If we read, hear or see something that’s connected to negative feelings, we’ll most likely paint everything in darker and more negative colors. It’s called projection and totally normal and totally human. Our opinions therefore say actually little to nothing about the thing they are about. They say everything about who we are and what history we carry along.
It’s human to have memories of the past coloring our experiences nowadays. Our past made us who we are. Our past made us the beautiful and wonderful people we nowadays face in the mirror. Our past made us know what we like and what we dislike. Our past made us find out who our friends are and who aren’t. Our past mad us the strong, free and lovely persons we are.
But our pasts also make us look biased to the things we’re facing. We can’t discuss a topic, without being lead by hurt or experiences from our past. We can’t watch a tv-programm, musical or show without associating it with things that happened to us. We can be who we are, like what we like and dislike what we dislike because of our past. We can’t face a new situation all new and fresh. We can’t read someone’s words like they are meant. If I speak words, colored with my past, you understand them coloring with your past. Even this blog will bring up memories and feelings that have nothing to do with this blog, but everything with the situations you’ve faced in the past.
Projection can be something positive. If someone reminds us of that best friend we had a high school, we are more positive about that person than that person earned himself. If someone says something that reminds us of a nice and wonderful situation, we’ll like that person more than we would have done otherwise. And if someone has such a positive projection on a therapist, idol or whatever, that has a huge positive influence on the process, the grow and the development of that person.
But a lot of times this projection is negative, making us harsh and unfair to the thing we’re facing, reading, seeing or hearing. The moment someone says something that contradicts with a painful experience from the past. The moment someone does something that does look exactly like that one situation in which you ended being bullied. That moment a person reminds you of that awful teacher at school who always gave you bad notes. That moment someone touches exactly that point in you that is the most breakable because it’s where you are hurt the most in your past.
Projection colors everything we experience. That’s not right or wrong, but since I know how it works and that it happens, I’m more aware of the fact when it happens. I see it happening with others and I see it with myself. I do project too, a lot. A “good” Alfred, doesn’t have to be as nice at the stage-door as a “bad” Alfred to be liked, just because he’s a good Alfred and good Alfreds have always been nice at the stage-door. But also in bigger situations. I don’t dare to trust my friends, because my previous friends left me when I needed them. And because I was bullied as a kid, I take criticism on my work as a signal that I’m not good enough.
So, in short, what can we learn from projection: Negative projection makes problems (feel) worse than they actually are, but positive projection makes the world look brighter than it actually is. :