The Power of Words
This weekend was a big weekend for my church. It was a semi-annual event we call General Conference. This happens the first weekend of April and October every year. In this conference, our prophet, apostles, and other general leaders speak to us. Their talks focus on giving us a better understanding of Christ’s teachings and how we can apply them to our lives to become better people. I always enjoy these conferences and come away determined to improve in as many of these areas as I can.
One talk, given in the Saturday morning session by the apostle, Jeffrey R. Holland, was especially inspiring to me. As soon as he said he was going to speak about the power of words, I perked up. Being a writer and someone who is deeply in love with words, this was something I could appreciate.
Words have a phenomenal power that I think gets taken for granted a lot. As Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Words are sacred and must be spoken with care.” He spoke about how we should take care in how we talk to/about others and about ourselves. While words have great power to inspire, to create a story, to create emotion, to do good, they also have the power to destroy.
He spoke about how we should refrain from speaking evil, cursing, backbiting, gossiping, speaking carelessly, and using words to hurt or destroy. He emphasized avoiding this practice when speaking about ourselves or speaking to our families. But he also stressed that we should show this same respect to everyone. He condemned verbal and emotional abuse as strongly as physical and sexual abuse. He condemned it against anyone by anyone.
I have certainly been guilty of this. When I’m in a bad mood, or when my husband and I are fighting, I’ll say things that are meant to hurt, even though I don’t mean it. This talk has inspired me to stop doing that. It also made me think about the way I use words when interacting with other people. Most especially those I interact with in my writing life.
I have been guilty many times of saying things of other writers that, if it got back to them, would hurt them deeply, maybe even make them give up on the thing they love so much. I’ve also been guilty of giving someone a crit where I’ve been snarky and destructive instead of constructive, edifying, and encouraging.
I’ve forgotten many times that I was once a greenie writer myself. That as little as two years ago, I was the stubborn one who wanted so badly to cling to what was familiar and easy to do, so I would argue against advice given to me. (Best example of this is how stubborn I was about POV. I was determined to prove that head-hopping wasn’t evil. Took me a while, but I finally saw the light and changed my head-hopping ways). I forget that not everyone is on the same level, nor does everyone learn at the same pace. Instead, I easily lose patience with someone who still has a lot to learn, is being stubborn, or who get a lot of empty praise or praise from those who don’t know better themselves. When that happens, I’ve been guilty of giving them a “reality check” crit. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of how many people I may have hurt by doing that. If any of them are reading this, I am genuinely sorry.
Thanks to Elder Holland’s talk, I have resolved to stop this behavior. If I can’t say something or give a crit to another writer without being snarky, mean, or destructive, I will not give it. There is a lot of truth and sensibility in the old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
There is someone whose example I want to follow. I have never seen anyone get offended by a crit done by this person. Not only is she an extremely talented writer, but she is also a very talented teacher. She can pick apart your entire scene, yet never once does she make you feel like you’re stupid, incompetent, or that you should give up writing now because there’s no hope for you. Instead, she patiently teaches, encourages, and helps you improve. Over the past two years, I have learned so much from this person and I know I am not alone when I say that I am eternally grateful to her and love her so much! (Better stop here….save the 50 page tribute to her for when I give the acks in my book.)
Those are the kind of crits I want to give, that’s the kind of attitude I want to have when speaking about other writers. I want to stop being so critical and negative towards others. That doesn’t mean I’ll give empty praise or ego boosts, because that can be just as harmful. But I will watch my presentation. I will make a bigger effort at finding as many positive things to say as possible to go along with any issues I may point out. And I will try very hard to do it all with a positive attitude, with patience, a teaching spirit, and encouragement. If can’t do that, then I throw the crit away.
I believe God has given me a gift. That He has blessed me with the ability to use words, to write, to create stories. Not only will I show my gratitude for that gift by magnifying and further developing my talents, but I will show it by using the power of words for good, not evil. To uplift, not destroy. I’m not perfect and therefore I know I’ll mess up, probably many times, but I’m going to do my very best to change starting right now.
One talk, given in the Saturday morning session by the apostle, Jeffrey R. Holland, was especially inspiring to me. As soon as he said he was going to speak about the power of words, I perked up. Being a writer and someone who is deeply in love with words, this was something I could appreciate.
Words have a phenomenal power that I think gets taken for granted a lot. As Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Words are sacred and must be spoken with care.” He spoke about how we should take care in how we talk to/about others and about ourselves. While words have great power to inspire, to create a story, to create emotion, to do good, they also have the power to destroy.
He spoke about how we should refrain from speaking evil, cursing, backbiting, gossiping, speaking carelessly, and using words to hurt or destroy. He emphasized avoiding this practice when speaking about ourselves or speaking to our families. But he also stressed that we should show this same respect to everyone. He condemned verbal and emotional abuse as strongly as physical and sexual abuse. He condemned it against anyone by anyone.
I have certainly been guilty of this. When I’m in a bad mood, or when my husband and I are fighting, I’ll say things that are meant to hurt, even though I don’t mean it. This talk has inspired me to stop doing that. It also made me think about the way I use words when interacting with other people. Most especially those I interact with in my writing life.
I have been guilty many times of saying things of other writers that, if it got back to them, would hurt them deeply, maybe even make them give up on the thing they love so much. I’ve also been guilty of giving someone a crit where I’ve been snarky and destructive instead of constructive, edifying, and encouraging.
I’ve forgotten many times that I was once a greenie writer myself. That as little as two years ago, I was the stubborn one who wanted so badly to cling to what was familiar and easy to do, so I would argue against advice given to me. (Best example of this is how stubborn I was about POV. I was determined to prove that head-hopping wasn’t evil. Took me a while, but I finally saw the light and changed my head-hopping ways). I forget that not everyone is on the same level, nor does everyone learn at the same pace. Instead, I easily lose patience with someone who still has a lot to learn, is being stubborn, or who get a lot of empty praise or praise from those who don’t know better themselves. When that happens, I’ve been guilty of giving them a “reality check” crit. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of how many people I may have hurt by doing that. If any of them are reading this, I am genuinely sorry.
Thanks to Elder Holland’s talk, I have resolved to stop this behavior. If I can’t say something or give a crit to another writer without being snarky, mean, or destructive, I will not give it. There is a lot of truth and sensibility in the old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
There is someone whose example I want to follow. I have never seen anyone get offended by a crit done by this person. Not only is she an extremely talented writer, but she is also a very talented teacher. She can pick apart your entire scene, yet never once does she make you feel like you’re stupid, incompetent, or that you should give up writing now because there’s no hope for you. Instead, she patiently teaches, encourages, and helps you improve. Over the past two years, I have learned so much from this person and I know I am not alone when I say that I am eternally grateful to her and love her so much! (Better stop here….save the 50 page tribute to her for when I give the acks in my book.)
Those are the kind of crits I want to give, that’s the kind of attitude I want to have when speaking about other writers. I want to stop being so critical and negative towards others. That doesn’t mean I’ll give empty praise or ego boosts, because that can be just as harmful. But I will watch my presentation. I will make a bigger effort at finding as many positive things to say as possible to go along with any issues I may point out. And I will try very hard to do it all with a positive attitude, with patience, a teaching spirit, and encouragement. If can’t do that, then I throw the crit away.
I believe God has given me a gift. That He has blessed me with the ability to use words, to write, to create stories. Not only will I show my gratitude for that gift by magnifying and further developing my talents, but I will show it by using the power of words for good, not evil. To uplift, not destroy. I’m not perfect and therefore I know I’ll mess up, probably many times, but I’m going to do my very best to change starting right now.