If that exclamation back was Peridot's reply to the loud human behind her, or her doing more yelling at the unfortunate barista, well, that was anybody's best guess. Maybe she was just yelling into the void at this point.
She kind of felt as though she was yelling into the void.
She pulled out her badge and walked to the front of the line.
"What's the problem?" she asked holding up her badge and to the barista and the... green triangle thing. "And if so help me if someone needs an explanation, there's a thing called wikipedia."
Wikipedia was more useful if you could read the language. Which Peridot was making impressive strides on! Buuuut she still needed a little bit of work.
Besides, there probably wasn't an entry that one could get to by searching 'that thing where humans put things into their mouths and then those things disappear.'
"I simply want to know," Peridot said, a little more reasonably now that there was what appeared to be some manner of human authority getting involved, "what all of these humans are doing. And why. And how it works."
They certainly weren't doing it anymore, granted, because everyone had finished their coffee a good hour and a half ago. But still.
The barista just made a sad whimpering sound. They weren't working part time at minimum wage for this.
Oh, Peridot could hear that sarcasm, Vic. And she was giving you such a stinkeye for it, too.
"Yes," she said simply, though there was a bit of annoyance still left in her own tone as she did so. "That is what I'm confused about. Analyzing the chemical breakdown of the substances hasn't answered any of my questions, and the human behind the crude horizontal brewed caffeinated brown fluid preparation workstation won't let me inspect the apparatus used to create the fluid in question. What is it for? What is drinks!?"
Look, Vic, she'd only learned what pants were the other day. One step at a time, here.
And now Peridot was getting Vic's fake smile and sarcastic niceness as she said the following with lots of finger-quotes:
"Drinks are 'liquids' that we 'imbibe' because if we 'don't' we'll die of 'dehydration' or quite possibly 'frustration' if someone doesn't get out of the way. For instance-"
She turned to the barista. "I need the largest coffee you have. Black, two sugars."
Then she turned back to Peridot. "See? That was me ordering a 'drink'. Okay? Now can you get out of the way so everyone else can order something?"
Peridot's lip curled back, revealing a set of surprisingly sharp teeth, but she shuffled off to the side all the same, squinting and peering up over the coffee equipment as the increasingly uncomfortable barista set about to preparing the drinks and trying to get some of that lineup out of the way while she still could.
"Humans can die of frustration? Your species is more fragile than I had previously assumed."
"Yeah. We're weak but surprisingly tenacious," Vic deadpanned as the barista handed Vic her coffee. Vic took a long slurp of her coffee and then letting out a sigh of relief. Oh the sweet reward of caffiene!
She then pulled down her sunglasses to give Peridot a better look.
Peridot at least spared a glance over her shoulder at Vic at the question, raising one eyebrow slightly.
"What was your first clue?"
The fact that she was probably the only triangular green person on the island, or the fact that she still wasn't completely clear about what 'drinks' was?
"Used to be your job," Peridot corrected, because she was capable of being helpful, too. "If you're no longer a detective, being observant doesn't necessarily apply to your current job description."
If Peridot didn't end up getting herself arrested simply for being Peridot before her time at the school was through, it would probably be a miracle.
"Well, we do have syntax where I'm from," she pointed out. Totally reasonably. Really. "Or are you telling me I should ignore what I do know simply because I've encountered something I don't?"
She probably could have stopped there.
But nope.
"If that's the case, it's really no wonder human technology is still so primitive."
"Yeah, well before you got here just stopped dragging our knuckles on the ground," Vic said with another eyeroll. "Tell me... you have syntax where you're from but do you have manners? Social niceties? Understanding of social interaction?"
Hey, Peridot worked for a Gem who well pre-dated recorded human history. It was totally possible that entire civilizations had risen and fallen within Peridot's own lifespan, too.
She shrugged her shoulders, unconcerned.
"I understand what I need to understand in order to do my job. We don't have any use for the human concept of 'social interaction.'"
This was only almost mostly kind of true. Their society wasn't exactly open to the concept, even if individual Gems could come to understand and appreciate keeping the company of others.
"Jesus fucking christ! What's the effing hold up?"
Peridot was getting between Vic and her precious cup of coffee.
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If that exclamation back was Peridot's reply to the loud human behind her, or her doing more yelling at the unfortunate barista, well, that was anybody's best guess. Maybe she was just yelling into the void at this point.
She kind of felt as though she was yelling into the void.
Reply
She pulled out her badge and walked to the front of the line.
"What's the problem?" she asked holding up her badge and to the barista and the... green triangle thing. "And if so help me if someone needs an explanation, there's a thing called wikipedia."
Reply
Besides, there probably wasn't an entry that one could get to by searching 'that thing where humans put things into their mouths and then those things disappear.'
"I simply want to know," Peridot said, a little more reasonably now that there was what appeared to be some manner of human authority getting involved, "what all of these humans are doing. And why. And how it works."
They certainly weren't doing it anymore, granted, because everyone had finished their coffee a good hour and a half ago. But still.
The barista just made a sad whimpering sound. They weren't working part time at minimum wage for this.
Reply
Reply
"Yes," she said simply, though there was a bit of annoyance still left in her own tone as she did so. "That is what I'm confused about. Analyzing the chemical breakdown of the substances hasn't answered any of my questions, and the human behind the crude horizontal brewed caffeinated brown fluid preparation workstation won't let me inspect the apparatus used to create the fluid in question. What is it for? What is drinks!?"
Look, Vic, she'd only learned what pants were the other day. One step at a time, here.
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"Drinks are 'liquids' that we 'imbibe' because if we 'don't' we'll die of 'dehydration' or quite possibly 'frustration' if someone doesn't get out of the way. For instance-"
She turned to the barista. "I need the largest coffee you have. Black, two sugars."
Then she turned back to Peridot. "See? That was me ordering a 'drink'. Okay? Now can you get out of the way so everyone else can order something?"
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"Humans can die of frustration? Your species is more fragile than I had previously assumed."
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She then pulled down her sunglasses to give Peridot a better look.
"Let me guess. New to town?"
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"What was your first clue?"
The fact that she was probably the only triangular green person on the island, or the fact that she still wasn't completely clear about what 'drinks' was?
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"I used to be a detective," Vic snarked back. "It's my job to notice things."
And be sarcastic to aliens coming to Earth. Welcome Peridot!
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Peridot was slightly pedantic, too.
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Yep. She didn't really mean that was cute.
These two are going to be the best of friends. You can tell.
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"Well, we do have syntax where I'm from," she pointed out. Totally reasonably. Really. "Or are you telling me I should ignore what I do know simply because I've encountered something I don't?"
She probably could have stopped there.
But nope.
"If that's the case, it's really no wonder human technology is still so primitive."
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Reply
She shrugged her shoulders, unconcerned.
"I understand what I need to understand in order to do my job. We don't have any use for the human concept of 'social interaction.'"
This was only almost mostly kind of true. Their society wasn't exactly open to the concept, even if individual Gems could come to understand and appreciate keeping the company of others.
Reply
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