Stark Industries, Monday
Early in the morning, the machine was done. Jessica had JARVIS run through the process three different times to make sure that none of the changes they made would affect the functionality based on the plans SWORD sent along, Each time, JARVIS confirmed that the machine was working properly. And once that was confirmed, Jessica attached one final
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She did try to make Sir Lintalot, Rocky, Mr. Turnip, and Madam Le Flour go first, though.
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When he found out the actual machine that would make them better was at Stark's instead of the clinic, he put in a very carefully vague call to Parker about there being brood activity there, in hopes that the two of them would show up. At least he'd managed to get his hands on Parker's taser. If he set it to the lowest setting and just used it to herd Hardison and Parker to the machine like they were cattle, he was pretty sure he wouldn't feel too guilty about hurting them. . . .
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"Is this where we're meeting to take over the Island and fly us back to Earth and conquer the planet?" she checked, looking around hopefully. It was debatable what Parker-brain had figured out, but the Brood side of her was all for world domination today.
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"Y'all are meetin' over that way," he said, squinting at the two of them through his still very swollen eye. (Well, four of them, but he was pretty sure they hadn't learned to multiply so he was ignoring the double vision right now.) "And hurry up with it, would you? You're makin' my head hurt worse."
That was both true and also his planned ruse if they asked why he was helping them now instead of fighting them. The brood didn't strike him as super intelligent, just aggressively, arrogantly cruel. So "fighting back means my head hurts so I'm giving in" was just stupid enough to work.
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"We'll be back with a Queen for you as soon as we know the plan," Parker chirped. "So you'll feel better, and can start pulling your weight."
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That was, uhh, nice? And/or romantic?
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Eliot flinched back from the touch. Gentle or not, that still hurt. And the last time Hardison's hand had been that close to Eliot's face, it'd been slamming a gun into it repeatedly. Even Eliot needed a minute to get over something like that.
"Yeah, I'm sure we woulda been real close. Anyway, I hear that machine thing they got is for . . . embryo . . . strengthening. Or something. They weren't big on telling a human all about their plans."
He wished Sophie were here. Sophie would have them fighting over who got to use the machine first.
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Mmm, chocolate. .... ?
Parker swooped down fast, and gave him a kiss on an un-bruised portion of his face. "Don't go anywhere." Which sounded a lot more threatening than usual. "We'll be right back."
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Eliot bit back several snide comments in response and just nodded meekly. He'd always been good at playing submissive on cons. It helped make sure the mark underestimated him. "You're the boss."
Except for the part where he planned on making sure he was there to keep them going to and into the machine when they eventually realized he was lying.
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Hardison obediently trailed over to look at the enhancer. "You, human!" he called imperiously. "Come over here and show me where the button is to facilitate extra murdering."
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Eliot was deeply tempted to just shove Parker and Hardison both into the machine. Not that he knew how that worked.
"The other brood hosts comin' through just kind of . . . sat down and let it do its thing," Eliot said, gesturing to how it super handwavily appeared to work. "It only works one at a time, so you gotta decide which of you is gonna go first."
Which of them would be better at helping him hold the other one down when it inevitably realized this was a trap?
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"Me first," she decided. "I need it more. This host is puny." She gave her hand a look of dissatisfaction. "And so pale. I look dead."
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