Stark Industries | Saturday

[dollpocalypse]

Today, ladies and gentlemen, marked a very important milestone. Today was the very first time Topher hadn't changed on a weird weekend.

And he might have celebrated that accomplishment if not for one thing: he had no idea it was a weird weekend. Nope. As far as he was concerned, today was just any other Saturday, which he intended to spend at the

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[i_am_the_rat]

This wasn't New York, and he wasn't living in the Avengers Mansion. Therefore, Hank Pym's lab must be in Stark Industries. QED.

He waved at the clerk absentmindedly and headed towards the lab. "JARVIS, do you remember where I left off yesterday?" he asked the ceiling. "My head's a little fuzzy."

The fact that neither Topher nor JARVIS (if it was still there -- the mun doesn't remember whether JARVIS left when old!Stark did) had any idea who he was hadn't even registered to Hank.

[dollpocalypse]

"...no," Topher said after a minute, "Topher."

[i_am_the_rat]

"...Sorry, what?" Hank asked the clerk. He frowned up at the ceiling, wondering why the computer hadn't responded.

[dollpocalypse]

Because he was goooone, Hank. GOOOOONE.

"Topher," Topher said. "Not Jarvis."

[i_am_the_rat]

"No, not you, the computer," Hank explained. "Stark's computer. Its AI isn't nearly as advanced as Ultron's is going to be, but it's useful sometimes."

[dollpocalypse]

Topher snorted. "Tony's dad does not have AI."

[i_am_the_rat]

"I meant Tony," Hank insisted. "Why would you think I meant his father? ...That's an interesting idea, though."

He pulled out a voice recorder -- one that had an actual cassette tape in it, that was how long he'd had it -- and hit the record button. "Project idea: A.I. based on historical records of Howard Stark, as a present for Tony. Too morbid? Get input from Janet before commencing."

[dollpocalypse]

Topher frowned. "That's a terrible idea."

Well, it was.

[i_am_the_rat]

Hank frowned. "You think so?" The fact that Hank -- who was so much of an idealist that he felt bad every time he punched a villain -- needed ethical advice from Topher -- who was going to spend his adult life essentially mind-raping people for the fun of it -- was all kinds of messed up.

He pulled the recorder out again. "Cancel that."

Then, to Topher again, he asked "Do you know if my Ultron files are here, at least?"

Yes, Hank, that was good. Let's leave the ethically horrible idea behind and get back to building one of the worst supervillains the world would ever know.

[dollpocalypse]

"I'm gonna say no," Topher said after a moment. "What's Ultron?"

[i_am_the_rat]

"It's the project I've been working on at the Av-- I mean, in conjunction with Stark. It's going to be the most advanced AI the world has ever seen, and it's going to solve all of the world's problems."

[dollpocalypse]

"Nuh-uh," Topher said at once. "I'm doing an AI with Tony. And it's not for solving problems. So far all we've decided is that it's rude and British."

Thanks, Topher.

[i_am_the_rat]

"You're... working on building JARVIS now?" Hank asked. "Does that mean I've been transported to the past? Or another dimension?"

He considered the possibilities.

"The lab does still have equipment that can detect tachyon neutrinos, right?" he asked. "I need a quick moment to work something out."

[dollpocalypse]

"...I'm not sure if you're allowed back there," Topher said slowly. "I could check with Howard?"

Here, Hank, have a broken brain.

[i_am_the_rat]

"Howard... Stark. Tony's father?"

Luckily for Hank, his brain didn't break easily, except when he tried to understand emotions.

"...What's the date, today?"

[dollpocalypse]

"Not really, but kind of," Topher said oh-so helpfully. "It's the tenth."