The Cold, Cold Streets of Fandom | Afternoon, Despite the Dark, Dark Darkness Overhead

[dollpocalypse]

It was nearly the end of the lunch hour, and Topher still hadn't met his quota.

Ever since he had been turned out onto the street by his one-time benefactor, Topher had been forced to satisfy a set amount of clients per day. Despite hating every minute of it, Topher had watched as his life became an endless routine of john after john, spending

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[hoorayimrich]

Today, the part of Tony Stark will be played by singing sensation: Darren Criss.

"Christopher..." Oh, he remembered when they were young and innocent and there was still sunshine out. It was like it was yesterday...

[dollpocalypse]

Sweet, sweet memories.

Topher approached Tony with his head down, ashamed of the path his life had taken.

"Tony," he said. His voice was laden with sorrow.

[hoorayimrich]

"What happened to you?" He had plans to enact, but he couldn't help but linger on the poor lost soul of a former friend.

And think fondly of those summers in the Swiss Alps. Because everyone went to the French Alps and he was different.

[dollpocalypse]

"You need to be quiet," Topher hissed. "The Russian. She'll see you."

And that would be terrible.

[hoorayimrich]

"Everyone sees me," Tony replied, head tossed back dramatically. "I'm Tony Stark."

[dollpocalypse]

"Not The Russian," Topher assured him. "If she sees you, we're dead for sure. She'll -- "

He broke off, then hissed, "She does things."

[hoorayimrich]

"Get a hold of yourself, Topher!" Tony snapped, possibly slapping him, possibly just hitting air in a way that the audience would be fooled into thinking it was a slap. "You're wacked out on the heroin!"

No he wasn't. But it was edgy to claim.

[dollpocalypse]

Topher paused.

For longer than a typical pause. Then he turned away, glanced at something written on his hand, and then faced forward again.

"I am not," he said stubbornly. "I'm clean. I think."

[hoorayimrich]

"You don't even know." Oh, feel the disdain Tony had for you, sad rentboy Topher. Feel it.

He pulled out his wallet, tossing cash at him in a disdainful manner. "Get yourself cleaned up."

[dollpocalypse]

"But The Russian!" Topher cried. "She'll -- she'll -- "

The writers hadn't decided what she would do. So Topher burst into tears.

[hoorayimrich]

"You're a mess!" Tony shouted needlessly. Topher could hear him just fine at his normal level.

[dollpocalypse]

Topher sobbed loudly, then moved to try to bury his head in Tony's shoulder.

"I DON'T HAVE A SHOWERRRRRR!" he wailed.

[hoorayimrich]

Oh god, it was all over his suit! Why?!

"Topher, I've moved on from this," Tony said, trying not to encourage him. "I'm a captain of industry!"

[dollpocalypse]

"Everything I do, I think of you," Topher whimpered. This was news to the audience. "I still love you!"

[hoorayimrich]

"We agreed to never speak of Portugal!" What.

[dollpocalypse]

"But," Topher sniffled. "But I love you. There's still time, Tony! Before the wedding, you can STILL CHOOSE ME!"

All the tears from before disappeared, leaving just one single tear streaking down his cheek.

"Please," he whispered.