Annette was on a mission. She had homework for John Crichton's class: How to Annoy your Teachers, and seeing Deadpool in the park was just a lucky break. Imagine that.
Problem was, she had never met him. She knew who he was, listened to him on the radio, but she had never met him.
She wondered what he had been reading? But that did not deter her from her objective. Nope.
"I was thinking, you know, because I've seen you around, walking here and there, doing this that and the other - well, I was thinking that someone probably hasn't told you something that you very much need to know."
He squinted at her. "There are rules about student/teacher relationships, I'm sorry to have to break it to you, but I'm going to have to say no. I understand that this will be hard for you to accept, but you're young! You'll find someone your own age. Try Ponytail!"
"Not if you're going to spread lies like that," Deadpool replied. He set the book aside and stood up to look at his ass. "It does not make my butt look big. You could bounce quarters off this ass. Perfection of the badonkadonk here."
"I don't have a quarter so I can't test that theory. Not that I would touch your butt. I don't even want to look at your butt. All I know is that from behind?" She puffed her cheeks out and spread her arms. "You look wider than Aunt Martha at the piggy roasting carnival." Annette didn't have an Aunt Martha. "She's a taste tester."
"Not so much annoy as cause me to contemplate an eating disorder. And not even one that can be solved neatly in the course of an hour on a family time show."
He made a note to find John Crichton and threaten him with sharp pointies.
"Next time try thinking that you're Madrox. He annoyed all us teachers like a pro."
"But I'm not a natural. That does have to be taken into consideration, doesn't it? I mean, here I am, just a nice girl, trying to annoy a teacher for a class project. It's kind of hard but I thought I did pretty well. I mean, it's not like I asked you to trade shoes with me or anything cause that would probably be annoying." She looked down at John's shoes that were still on her feet. Yes. They were way too big. "I could have done a bunch of stuff I guess to try and annoy you. Like, sayyyy sneak up behind you and peer over your shoulder at the book you were looking at or reading or whatever. Then I could totally startle you and scream or something, then snatch the book and take off running. I bet that would annoy you, wouldn't it, Professor Deadpool? Oh, I'm Annette Hargrove by the way."
Deadpool gave her a sympathetic look. "You might want to try the sneaking things on someone easier first, say someone who hasn't worked as a killer for hire for a decade or two before coming here."
Problem was, she had never met him. She knew who he was, listened to him on the radio, but she had never met him.
Hey, this could work for her benefit.
Approaching him slowly, she said, "Hi."
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"Hello," Deadpool said warily. If she made a comment about the wedding and didn't have a toaster, there might be trouble.
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"I was thinking, you know, because I've seen you around, walking here and there, doing this that and the other - well, I was thinking that someone probably hasn't told you something that you very much need to know."
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He squinted at her. "There are rules about student/teacher relationships, I'm sorry to have to break it to you, but I'm going to have to say no. I understand that this will be hard for you to accept, but you're young! You'll find someone your own age. Try Ponytail!"
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Annette blinked. "What? Omigod no! I don't want you! I have no idea what is even under that costume that makes your ass look so damn big!"
Okay. She hadn't mean to say it exactly like that, like John had said, but Deadpool totally caught her off guard, dangit!
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"You are a mean and hurtful girl who lies like Aly."
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"It's homework. Don't take me literally. How to Annoy your Teachers. John Crichton is to blame. Did I annoy you?"
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He made a note to find John Crichton and threaten him with sharp pointies.
"Next time try thinking that you're Madrox. He annoyed all us teachers like a pro."
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"You did not."
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"He didn't die. Like the Energizer bunny or something."
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