I'm sorry but you're mom's a bitch. I've had so many friends with idiot parents you bring them; critizing them about their looks, their weight, their intelligence; it's digusting. I might be being harsh, but one of best friends in high school was bulimic because of comments her dad constantly made about her appearence.
Don't listen to her, get some honest critque from a friend you can trust. Focus on all the positive feedback you've gotten! I really hope your confidence improves and continues to soar. *hugs*
sorry, I'm nitpickingfscomMay 20 2011, 00:40:03 UTC
Sometimes parents say those things because you know, you actually do suck at them, and it would be better if they told you off first before you embarrassed yourself in public. It would be totally justifiable if your parents told you that you were too fat if you're 200 lb, for example.
Oh well, I don't know the context OP, so I just hope your mother just said that out of amusement/concern that others will laugh at you if you sing in public rather than actual mean spite.
Re: sorry, I'm nitpickingfscomMay 20 2011, 23:59:04 UTC
Constructive criticism isn't the same as putting other people down. One of these things YOU JUST DON'T DO, otherwise you're a jerk.
I speak from experience. I was always belittled and laughed at by my parents, and now I have clinically proven low self-esteem, to the point where I'm too scared to even try writing (I want to be an author) because I know I will fail, along with tons of justifications and self-created put-downs. Guess what? I'm a psych student who knows all this objectively, but it's different from actually believing it about yourself. So yes, execution is as important as intent.
Those were going to be my EXACT words. Oh, the F!S hive-mind! XD
But, OP, she is. There's no justification for a parent to put down their children. I think she's probably jealous that she can't sing as well, or because she doesn't have the self-confidence to do stuff she likes without worrying what the word is gonna say (I know that type :/), or simply because she feels threatened that you are an independent person and wants to make you doubt yourself (again, I know the type :/).
I know it's hard to really stop caring, but just because she's you mother doesn't mean she's right.
mm i didn't mean to remotely imply that it was forgivable. just that that might be the motivation behind it. it usually stems from the parents having their own social anxiety/abuse issues.
maybe but still the OP's mother comment was very rude. And if your see your child not being very good at something then find a way to encourage for practice and get better I mean nobody can star being good with their talent not even the great geniuses !!!
Protection by beating someone down is not protection - it's as damaging as any public humiliation. The difference is, now it's the parents' fault, and any resentment the child might develop is going to be directed at the parents. Makes for a nice dysfunctional relationship, right? Not to mention the self-esteem issues the child is going to develop.
Because it's your mom, and you've spent the majority of your life using her opinions as a yardstick to measure everything by, just like everyone does. I can't vouch for your singing since I don't know who you are, but I know plenty of people who sing for their own fun despite not being professional-level good at it. Singing's fun. My dad used to make fun and criticize my singing all the time, even though other people told me they liked it, so I just don't sing where he can hear me. Don't let your mom's jerky comment stop you from doing something you like---if you have fun doing it (and obviously you aren't so bad at it as to mortally offend listeners who aren't your mom), keep on doing it, and everything else you like. You're the only one who gets to choose what you do for fun.
Try asking someone you don't know. Not someone who criticizes you a lot, or who will be bothered by your opinion of them--someone like a friend of a friend.
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Don't listen to her, get some honest critque from a friend you can trust. Focus on all the positive feedback you've gotten! I really hope your confidence improves and continues to soar. *hugs*
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Oh well, I don't know the context OP, so I just hope your mother just said that out of amusement/concern that others will laugh at you if you sing in public rather than actual mean spite.
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while I'm feeling mean and spiteful...
who the fuck gives to ratshits in hell what other people think of them? if the op wanted to sing at the top of her lungs because it made her HAPPY?
fuck the people who want to squash someone like that.
so...for that matter...fuck you, anon.
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I speak from experience. I was always belittled and laughed at by my parents, and now I have clinically proven low self-esteem, to the point where I'm too scared to even try writing (I want to be an author) because I know I will fail, along with tons of justifications and self-created put-downs. Guess what? I'm a psych student who knows all this objectively, but it's different from actually believing it about yourself. So yes, execution is as important as intent.
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Those were going to be my EXACT words. Oh, the F!S hive-mind! XD
But, OP, she is. There's no justification for a parent to put down their children. I think she's probably jealous that she can't sing as well, or because she doesn't have the self-confidence to do stuff she likes without worrying what the word is gonna say (I know that type :/), or simply because she feels threatened that you are an independent person and wants to make you doubt yourself (again, I know the type :/).
I know it's hard to really stop caring, but just because she's you mother doesn't mean she's right.
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Parents sometimes try to protect their kids from what they see as embarrassments/failures by beating them down. :\
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There's always constructive criticism, you know.
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