I know how you feel, anon...except for me, it seems like cognitive behavioral therapy helped my social anxiety in real life but in return, now I'm a wreck on livejournal.
I think I liked feeling anxious more in real life better...
I used to be like that. Lately I've been trying to make more of an effort to post, but sometimes I still agonize over every single thing I write, even the simplest comments...
It seems to come so naturally to others. :(
Hugs to all the anxious anons posting in this thread. <3
I used to agonise so much over what I wrote in comments, that most of the time I would end up backing out.
I've been getting better though. It helps that I've found a community on LJ where it feels like I fit in, just a little, and I have something to contribute. It's the first time in years I've felt that way.
It also doesn't help the self esteem issues when you post to a comm where everyone is 'cliquey' and you get ignored - even if what you have to say is relevant.*sigh*
Aaa I know what you mean; I'll spend time writing out a comment, heart pounding, mustering up the guts to click POST... but I usually wind up deleting everything I wrote and hitting the back button.
And internet cliques are the worst, lol. They are ridiculous, and I feel ridiculous for being so intimidated by elitist jerks online. SIGH
But I'm glad you found a community where you feel more comfortable in! :) <3
I was like this for years too. It still gets to me sometimes, especially if I'm around fandom people who I admire and whose works I really enjoy. (It's gotten better over the years but yeah, that awful feeling pops up every now and then...)
And yes, thanks to everyone who posted. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this, and that they are generally supportive and cheering each other on. :]
I sympathize, OP. My social anxiety followed me into fandom (it took a couple of years.) I think it's actually a little worse in fandom than it is in RL now, actually. In my case, it's not concrit that makes me nervous; hell, I'd welcome that because at least people would be commenting. It's when no one comments at all that I get just indescribably, horribly embarrassed.
And it's like a self-fulfilling thing - when I first started in fandom, I was fine, I'd post a fic, and get lots of comments. Then, as the social anxiety got worse, the comments just stopped. I can only guess that it's somehow affected my writing but for the life of me, I can't figure out how.
hell, I'd welcome that because at least people would be commenting. It's when no one comments at all that I get just indescribably, horribly embarrassed.
Same :( I have My Guests enabled at my fic journal and I can see that people have read/visited. It makes me feel so embarrassed that they didn't deem me good enough to say something.
Speaking as someone who tends to read fic without commenting... for some of us, it's because we get horribly anxious agonizing over what to say, too. It isn't because the author isn't good enough- it's because they're so good that I feel like I'd embarrass myself trying to tell them why and how much I liked what they wrote.
Sorry if I made you or anyone else uncomfortable by my silence, anon. I've been there too, and I know it sucks.
This! This is me all the time. I often feel too awkward to comment on a fic - like, when it seems like the other commentators are all of their friends, or when it was posted a long time ago, or if I recently commented on another of their stories...I guess it's a bad habit, ne that I will try to remedy! Now I kinda feel bad for not commenting on so many stories.
I once got unexpected feedback from an old story. It made my whole day and week, and I still can remember it almost verbatim. Feedback for old stories is very welcome :)
*Echoing the 'Are you me?' sentiments*t3h_toby_chanMarch 29 2010, 22:43:12 UTC
Holyshit, this. I mean, it doesn't happen too much; I usually get at least a couple comments, (now that I've crawled out of the hole I've been hiding in for a little while), but still, I tend to get those posts where I think it's going to be totally awesome, and then nobody comments and I just get so paranoid and ashamed
( ... )
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I think I liked feeling anxious more in real life better...
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Sometimes it's so bad that I shake when I'm writing comments.
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It seems to come so naturally to others. :(
Hugs to all the anxious anons posting in this thread. <3
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I've been getting better though. It helps that I've found a community on LJ where it feels like I fit in, just a little, and I have something to contribute. It's the first time in years I've felt that way.
It also doesn't help the self esteem issues when you post to a comm where everyone is 'cliquey' and you get ignored - even if what you have to say is relevant.*sigh*
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And internet cliques are the worst, lol. They are ridiculous, and I feel ridiculous for being so intimidated by elitist jerks online. SIGH
But I'm glad you found a community where you feel more comfortable in! :) <3
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Thank you.
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And yes, thanks to everyone who posted. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this, and that they are generally supportive and cheering each other on. :]
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And it's like a self-fulfilling thing - when I first started in fandom, I was fine, I'd post a fic, and get lots of comments. Then, as the social anxiety got worse, the comments just stopped. I can only guess that it's somehow affected my writing but for the life of me, I can't figure out how.
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Same :( I have My Guests enabled at my fic journal and I can see that people have read/visited. It makes me feel so embarrassed that they didn't deem me good enough to say something.
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Are you guys me? Because I could have written this. I hate it :(
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Sorry if I made you or anyone else uncomfortable by my silence, anon. I've been there too, and I know it sucks.
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