Try to remember more good than bad will come out of it in the end, OP. Once you've faced your fears and insecurities head-on, you'll feel much better. Good luck!
Do you have somebody who could come to the appointment with you? The doctor might not let them come in with you, but just having someone waiting might make it a little easier.
Or you could ask to speak to the doctor ahead of time. Maybe getting to them him/her a little will make everything less overwhelming.
No matter what you do, remember that any anxiety you're feeling is just temporary. Your recovery will, hopefully, last the rest of your life.
I second the idea to bring a friend. Obviously I can't speak for the personal experiences of the OP, but my anxieties are always dampened if I have someone I know and trust with me.
The only way I got up the courage to actually go in was to pretend I was doing something else. I'm not sure how else to explain it. I just told myself I wasn't going in to ask for help (which is exactly what I ended up doing- "I'm think I'm depressed, and I need help"), and that got me in the door. If there had been a wait to speak to the receptionist, I probably would have had to try again. But there wasn't, and I didn't. And once I saw a doctor to diagnose and refer me, I felt better. Every time after that that I had to go and ask for help (once even going to the ER because I was afraid I was going to off myself and I had literally no where else to go and no one to talk to), it got a little bit easier. It's always going to be hard, but a little dissociation from the situation can make it happen.
It's one of the hardest things you're going to do, but you *can* do it.
Well, the fact that you want to is a start. But help won't work until you're ready for it to help. Don't pressure yourself too much; when it's time, you'll know. (But it wouldn't hurt to also have people in your RL who can help you.)
Easy: because cons are fun and exciting while getting help is scary as hell. The hardest part about therapy, for me, was realizing that I really wanted to change myself, that even though my mental image of myself was "the one who mopes around all the time," I wanted to be different. You have to work at it, yes--anti-depressants don't magically change your outlook on life--but the end result is so rewarding. And many of us in fandom have been there, so you're not alone. And if we can do it, you can too. Best of luck, anon. ♥
I second everything in this comment, and second what others have said about being kind to yourself. It might not seem like much to you, but recognising that you need help, and even taking steps to try and get help is a bloody achievement, OP, and you should treat it like nothing less.
Please don't beat yourself about it; getting help can be difficult. But as the above commenter says, you're far from alone. Power to you.
Be kind to yourself, OP; it's taken courage to even get as far as the door. Of course going inside is going to seem a daunting thing, there's no shame in feeling scared. Please keep trying, because your life is precious.
I wish there was something I could say to magically help you, but there isn't. Make the decision to go through the door and do it. There are plenty of heroic characters to take inspiration from. What would Buffy or [insert favorite character] do?
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Or you could ask to speak to the doctor ahead of time. Maybe getting to them him/her a little will make everything less overwhelming.
No matter what you do, remember that any anxiety you're feeling is just temporary. Your recovery will, hopefully, last the rest of your life.
Good luck!
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A friend of mine had to physically drag me in the first time.
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It's one of the hardest things you're going to do, but you *can* do it.
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I second everything in this comment, and second what others have said about being kind to yourself. It might not seem like much to you, but recognising that you need help, and even taking steps to try and get help is a bloody achievement, OP, and you should treat it like nothing less.
Please don't beat yourself about it; getting help can be difficult. But as the above commenter says, you're far from alone. Power to you.
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