'sup
* still have no idea how to look for jobs. ugh. i wish i could find a good mentor, find someone else in my field in industry in the nyc area, but that seems impossible given the contacts i already have. i'm honestly scared that they don't exist, in which case i'm going to come up with a new plan.
* adam and i had a talk last night, and it was rough. there's a lot that's wrong with me, emotionally, due to my past and my problems. it's stuff i need to fix, and i need to do it on my own. it's not relationship-breaking, thank god, but it's rough to deal with.
* wh_mermaid is totally awesome, just so you all know, and my excitement is at levels that can only be described as stupid. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
* chugging along on cornerflag fic, in bits and pieces. certainly i'm finally getting ideas out of my head and onto the page, which feels good. it feels good to tell something resembling my story, even if putting it in another setting with other people makes it different, makes it fictionalized. but i don't know if i'm a good enough writer to do it justice. i feel i'm doing too much telling and not enough showing. i worry they're not believable, which is hard enough given the idea i'm running with. and i'm still shaky on a lot of things plot-wise, and still don't have an ending. ugh ugh.
* waffling on yuletide. i like the idea of participating, i like a lot of the fandoms on the list. but i don't know if i'll pump a fic out fast enough that's good enough to make someone happy. i'm not even 100% sure what i want to request, or how to word requests that are sufficiently specific-yet-general. and with all the changes going on in my life, if i'll even have the *time* to pump out a thousand words on a fandom i probably know but don't think about turning into fanfic much.
* the new elder scrolls game is out tonight so uh i may disappear for a while, just saying. it's looking excellent, and after my completely positive experiences with the fallout games (by the same developers), it's nothing short of exciting. i think i'm starting to understand the appeal of western rpg's which is not something i would have said half a decade ago. XD
* adam and i had a talk last night, and it was rough. there's a lot that's wrong with me, emotionally, due to my past and my problems. it's stuff i need to fix, and i need to do it on my own. it's not relationship-breaking, thank god, but it's rough to deal with.
* wh_mermaid is totally awesome, just so you all know, and my excitement is at levels that can only be described as stupid. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
* chugging along on cornerflag fic, in bits and pieces. certainly i'm finally getting ideas out of my head and onto the page, which feels good. it feels good to tell something resembling my story, even if putting it in another setting with other people makes it different, makes it fictionalized. but i don't know if i'm a good enough writer to do it justice. i feel i'm doing too much telling and not enough showing. i worry they're not believable, which is hard enough given the idea i'm running with. and i'm still shaky on a lot of things plot-wise, and still don't have an ending. ugh ugh.
* waffling on yuletide. i like the idea of participating, i like a lot of the fandoms on the list. but i don't know if i'll pump a fic out fast enough that's good enough to make someone happy. i'm not even 100% sure what i want to request, or how to word requests that are sufficiently specific-yet-general. and with all the changes going on in my life, if i'll even have the *time* to pump out a thousand words on a fandom i probably know but don't think about turning into fanfic much.
* the new elder scrolls game is out tonight so uh i may disappear for a while, just saying. it's looking excellent, and after my completely positive experiences with the fallout games (by the same developers), it's nothing short of exciting. i think i'm starting to understand the appeal of western rpg's which is not something i would have said half a decade ago. XD