The Gardens, Tuesday All Day

[nothornlessrose]

Cassidy wasn't hiding in the gardens, except for how she wasShe'd come down very early in the morning, before it was light out, because she hadn't been able to sleep. She'd pulled up a protective yellow shield around herself and started in on pulling weeds and digging in the dirt to move rocks and stones that she didn't think belonged where they

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[snarkyhealer]

"What are you doing?"

That would be one teenage Healer-in-training shrieking, yes it would. She calmed herself quickly, though, and went to crouch next to Cassidy -- while simultaneously using the strength of her jewel to keep Cassidy from digging for the moment.

"Talk to me," she said softly, putting a hint of snap into it. This was one of the times when she was allowed to take some sort of attitude with her Queen, so Mother Night, she was going to.

[nothornlessrose]

"I'm working," Cassidy said quietly, trying to tug at the tool Shira was holding so that she could dig out the rocks that shouldn't have been in this part of her gardens.

She wasn't even aware that she was getting smears of her own blood on the rocks and weeds that she was dislodging.

[snarkyhealer]

"For a definition of working that includes bleeding on things, then yes. Yes, I suppose you are working." Shira got cranky when she was worried.

"You need to stop, Cassidy. You're hurt. You need to let me take care of your hands."

[nothornlessrose]

"The land needs to be taken care of," she murmured, acting like she didn't even feel how badly she had already damaged her hands in her complete focus on the dirt and stones of the garden. "Have to take care of the land so it will be there to take care of the people. Have to make sure it is taken care of well."

[snarkyhealer]

"Can't take care of the land if the Queen isn't taken care of," Shira said. "Let me take care of your hands and you can go back to working."

Except no way was she letting that happen, but she obviously wasn't going to tell Cassidy that.

[nothornlessrose]

"I can't fail the land again," Cassidy said and now there were tears in her eyes that were starting to try to make dirty trails down her cheeks as she kept tugging at rocks and throwing them to the side. "I won't fail in my responsibilities again, Shira. I will not."

She turned her focus to tugging at the ground again.

[snarkyhealer]

Shira let go of her hold on the tools, but only so she could reach in and try to physically grab them. "You haven't failed in anything, Cassidy," she said gently. "Not that I can tell. You are a good Queen. That doesn't change just because of what you went through."

Well, at least they were getting closer to the heart of the matter.

[nothornlessrose]

She tugged one of the garden claws free of Shira's grip and ducked her head as she continued to work the ground beneath her.

"I wasn't powerful enough or beautiful enough to keep myself from being thrown into some weird dungeon in that other world. They could hurt me without fear that someone would stop them because I wasn't Queen enough. I'll never be Queen enough, Shira. I'm not a Healer, I'm not a Black Widow, I'm only a weak Queen. You and Karla were strong enough and powerful enough not to get caught in that prison when we were all changed. I failed my family. I failed my males --" not that she had more than one -- "and I failed the land."

[snarkyhealer]

"I was lucky not to get caught," Shira corrected. "And bullshit you're not powerful enough. Or did you forget that we wear the same Jewel?" She arched an eyebrow at that. "And I beg to differ that you failed. If anything, I was the one who failed you."

Maybe talking about her issues would distract Cassidy a little. It was worth a try. She needed to calm her Queen a little before she could get the other girl to consent to healing.

[nothornlessrose]

"You didn't fail me because you didn't know me that well, Shira. You didn't know in that world that I was your Queen."

[snarkyhealer]

"No, but you were my friend," Shira said. "We had that much, at least, and I couldn't keep you from getting thrown in Detention."

[nothornlessrose]

Cassie ducked her head so that Shira wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"I'm glad you weren't there. It was horrible. I thought I was going to die there. I almost wanted to."

[snarkyhealer]

"Tell me about it," Shira urged softly, gently, as she dropped from a crouch into a sitting position. "Tell me what happened. And I'll tell you what I was up to." Maybe a trade, information for information, would make it easier to talk. Or maybe not, she didn't know. But worth a try.

[nothornlessrose]

"We didn't get fed much. It kept us alive, but it didn't let us have very much energy. I have no idea what we were given as food. I only ate it a couple of times. Nights, especially, it was difficult to eat sometimes."

Cassidy kept up with digging in the garden as she spoke in a very quiet voice.

[snarkyhealer]

"I was part of the resistance," Shira said. "I didn't stay anywhere for very long. Crashed on people's couches a lot. Sean and Annja kept trying to get me to stay with them, but I didn't want to put them in danger -- Sean was one of the best magic users we had." Strange to think how important they'd been to her in that world, when in this one she didn't even know them.

She reached out to touch Cassidy's hands lightly with one of her own. "Let me help?" If she couldn't physically stop her, she could do the work for her. "Tell me what to do?"

[nothornlessrose]

"I don't know who they are." She kept running the pronged tool through the ground. "The detention... we were locked so deep in the castle that no one could have found us if they didn't know where to look. It was all concrete and steel and for more than two years I couldn't touch the land." Cassidy shuddered. "That's what started my mind splintering."